TW: ANXIETY
♡
"Has Tyler been distant with you too?" Cooper asks Tyler's sister, Melanie, on Thursday morning before class.
"Not really...why?" she asks.
"He's just been off lately... I'm not exactly sure why. I mean, I know I'm his best friend but I'm not naive enough to think that he's not mad at me. I just wanna know what's wrong."
"And I'm not naive enough to think that you haven't tried to talk to him."
"Yeah, I have. Several times, actually."
"I'm going to be honest with you. I do know what's wrong, but he needs to be the one to tell you, not me. "
Cooper nods, thanking her, then heads to his first-period class early.
After school, Cooper finds Tyler. Walking up to him, he puts his hand on his back.
"Hi!" Cooper says.
"Hey," Tyler says. He sounds upset--not really mad, but kind of annoyed, maybe a little bit sad?
"Everything ok?"
"I'm fine, Cooper!" He says, turning away from Cooper.
"Wait! Wait!" Cooper says, running after him. "Come over tonight."
"I can't," Tyler says. "But why?"
"Because...I wanna see you...spend time with you. You're my best friend, Ty."
"You can come over around five..."
♡
Cooper walks up the stairs to Tyler's bedroom, knocking on his door, going in when he says 'Come in'.
"Hey!" Cooper greets, sitting down on Tyler's bed.
"Hey," he says. His voice still sounds sad.
"Is everything okay?"
"Why do you keep asking me that?!"
"Because I'm worried about you!"
"You shouldn't have come over."
"Tyler!"
"You should leave." He says; Cooper doesn't argue, although he knows he should, and he walks out of the house.
He dials Melanie's number as he drives down the road after backing out of his driveway.
"Tyler just...threw me out. Melanie, is he okay? He hardly talked to me. I know you said that he needs to tell me, but I'm really worried about him." By the time Cooper finishes talking, he's got tears running down his face.
"Oh, Coop... he's okay... I know he should tell you, and you probably should hear it from him, but I can't let you worry yourself to death... He was diagnosed with anxiety, Cooper." Melanie's voice says through the speaker on his phone.
"What? When?"
"A few months ago."
"Why didn't he tell me?"
"He was scared. He's been avoiding you lately because he doesn't want you to get hurt. His anxiety is bad right now; he's managing it, yes, but it's still hard on him. He thinks that by being around you, you won't want to be friends with him anymore, or that you won't like him anymore...he doesn't want you to get hurt...Cooper, know this, he really does love you."
"I just wanna see him, talk to him, hug him..." Cooper says, and he breaks down again, tears coming harder than before.
"Cooper, it's okay. Please don't cry. I'll talk to you later, Tyler's coming downstairs now. (Who're you on the phone with, Mel?) Your best friend. He's torn up, Tyler. He knows...I had to tell him. Tyler, he's been and will continue to worry himself sick! Tyler, he was sobbing, I could hear it in his voice!"
Cooper's pretty sure he wasn't was supposed to hear the end of that conversation, because Melanie hangs up directly after.
♡
The next day (Friday) Cooper avoids both Tyler and Melanie; he was up all night crying because he feels like he's been a bad friend for not noticing the signs he was showing before now. The worrying.
The reassurance he asks for.
Cooper walks to his locker to get his books for his first-period class.
When Tyler walks in, Cooper holds himself together enough until he can talk to Ms. Bright.
"Ms. Bright?" Cooper asks, raising his hand. "May I use the restroom?"
"Of course, Cooper," she says. Cooper gets out of his desk and walks out of the classroom, knowing Tyler is watching every step he takes until he reaches the door and disappears down the hallway, going to the bathroom and sliding into a stall.
When he saw him...he just lost it. He loves Tyler so much, and he's his best friend; he feels so guilty for not noticing it sooner. Of course he's not angry...he knows he doesn't have a right to be angry at Tyler, he just feels so guilty.
♡
When the final bell of the school day rings, signaling that Cooper made it through another day— and week— of school, he rushes out of class and to his car.
On the drive home, he thinks about going to see Tyler, but his phone starts ringing at that very moment.
Answering it through the car stereo, he says, "Hello?"
"Cooper?" Melanie's voice says. "Hey. I think you should come over to talk to Tyler."
"He'll just tell me to leave again."
"No, he won't. I won't let him. Please, Coop? He misses you, and he doesn't want it to be like this, he's just scared of hurting you. Please? He needs you right now.
"W-what time?"
"Around 4,"
"Okay."
Cooper presses end call and swings by his house quickly to tell his Mom that his plans have changed and to change clothes.
♡
Cooper pulls into Tyler's driveway at 3:56, sitting in his car for a few minutes, telling himself to breathe. It's going to be okay; it's just Tyler.
He gets out of his car and walks up to the front door, Melanie opening the door before he can even knock.
"He's upstairs," she says. "You can go on up."
Cooper thanks her and walks up the stairs to Tyler's bedroom, knocking on the door.
Cooper hears him get off the bed as he opens the door. When Tyler sees him, he pulls Cooper in the room, and into a hug.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." he cries into Cooper's shoulder.
"For what, Tyler? It's okay. It's not your fault." Cooper says.
"I know...but I didn't tell you, and you got scared and--"
"It's okay, Tyler."
Tyler fidgets with the gold chain around his neck and looks up at Cooper. "I didn't tell you because I was scared of being judged, or hurting you. I've been seeing a therapist for it and she's got me on some medication. I'm getting better." he says.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Cooper asks. "I just want to know that you're okay. You're my best friend, Tyler. I love you, okay?"
"Cooper, I love you so much and I was just scared of hurting you. I know it sounds weird, but that's what anxiety does sometimes. I missed you so much, but every time I just pushed you away even more because I was scared of hurting you..." He pauses and doesn't continue, leaning forward, closer to Cooper, resting their foreheads together. Tyler leans in more, until their lips touch.
Cooper scoots closer, kissing him back, pulling him closer, more into the kiss. Tyler's lips are soft, and he kisses Cooper as if his life depends on it. Tyler breaks the kiss momentarily to meet Cooper's gaze, and then leans in again, kissing his lips.
"I'm not letting you go again," Tyler whispers. "I'm not pushing you away anymore. I love you, Cooper. I love you so much, and I just want you. You're the only one that I want, and I can't express how bad I want you, but I also can't express how much I love you..." Tyler looks into his eyes, holding Cooper's face in his hands.
Tyler rubs his thumb over Cooper's bottom lip, pulling it down. Cooper smiles, leaning his head back, opening his mouth against Tyler's touch.
Tyler's eyes roam over Cooper, landing back on his lips.
"You think you could stay tonight?" Tyler asks, his lips ghosting over Cooper's.
Cooper smiles. "I think I can figure something out..."
♡
Cooper is curled up in Tyler's bed, in his arms as Tyler runs his fingers up and down Cooper's back, his lips moving up the side of Cooper's neck.
Tyler slides his hand down Cooper's side, sliding around to the front of his waist, his finger tips pressing against Cooper's skin under his shirt, holding him closer.
Cooper rolls over on to his back, meeting Tyler's gaze; Tyler bends his head, kissing him softly.
10/11/2022
i'm going to start doing some rewrites of some older stories, but i'll still post one new ones!
