Lol, stupid (possibly discontinued)

gay 1 (ew fireoiny)

Fire x metal circle

I want your secrets

"Oh conyee west you are so stupid" That was Fire Man's grating voice. It had come out of his mouth and entered directly into the mind, presence, and soul of the object that stood ahead of him by about 2763 meters.

How could Conyee have heard such a thing. Well that was because Fireys voice was so grating and terrible that it's pure awfulness propelled it's sound waves forward into the skies of oxygen, all the way to the other side of the treacherous distance of 2763 miles. The true terror of those words outlasted the emptiness of the vast space between him and the coin. Oh did I say miles, I meant light years.

Coiny wanted to get back at the flame gremlin, as those few words were enough to provoke him. He screeched back.

"FIREY YOU ARE SO GAY" Firey did not hear this insult because it was so weak and terrible.

It was nothing compared to "Oh conyee west you are so stupid"

Something about it just wasn't powerful enough when compared to Firehs chad slander. Something about it was too flimsy. Coiny had no clue why his words sounded so lame in contrast to the motivational speech Firey gave, and immediately became engulfed in jealousy. The embers of envy seeped into Coiny's very body and will, empowering him to take the step forward. He will find out Firey's secret to such grand, elegant yet undesirable nature of his diction. It was time Coiny took the secret strats for himself.

Coiny's completely black legs began to move across the open field. One step at a time and he was leisurely strolling his way through the tufts of grass that grazed his feet. Then his speed picked up and then it seemed as if he was gliding across the plains at a nightmarish pace. He almost appeared ghostly due to the velocity he was gaining, which creeped the shit out of Firey.

All that was said on Coiny's face was one of absolute resolution. He was nothing short of determined about getting everything out of Firey. He HAD to receive this valuable information for himself, for he could not bear the thought of never knowing how to pick the most menacing words to say.

A stinging pain met Firey's sizzling cheeks so quickly that he did not have any time to process what caused it.

It was a slap.

"Firey...how DARE YOU!!!!" Coiny shouted indignantly. No surprise.

"How dare I what?" Firey asked obliviously.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING SO GODLIKE! HOW DO I ACHIEVE YOUR LEVEL OF EXPERTISE???"

Coiny's response was more charming and admiring than Firey had initially expected. His own rival finally looked up to him, for what? His words? All he said was "Oh conyee west you are so stupid" how was that deserving of any praise?

"PLEASE FIREY, I MUST KNOW YOUR SECRETS." Coiny insisted. He was not ready to give up this once in a lifetime opportunity.

"Uhhhh ok. But first you must come under and go to my house"

"The fuq? Your house? I thought you were homeless bruv"

"IM NOT JOMELESS. It's a common mistake everyone makes, they all think we're homeless but actually behind the scenes we live very normal hooman lives. Cursed isn't it"

"But i saw the behind the scenes stupid and I saw no house because I'm Coiny"

"blind"

Firey roughly tugged Coiny by the arms and dragged him along the ground to the secret place.

Surprisingly Firey did indeed have house. It said ANNOUNCER'S RENTAL SPACESHIP. USE WHEN HOMELESS, WHICH 100% OF YOU ARE

"Yo wtf your house is JACKED" Coiny remarked, astonished.

"Yeah I get to live on a spaceship. Pretty cool right, cooler than an island!!"

"Indeed, very incredible! Does the spaceship have free WiFi?"

"Yeh" Firey however sounded a bit miserable when he confirmed that the spaceship had free WiFi, which baffled Coiny. How could one sound so disappointed when there was free WiFi? "I'll show you bro"

Firey led Coiny round the spaceship till they found a paper taped on the back of the ship. All over it were a bunch of random numbers and letters. The heading at the top then revealed everything.

Lol if u want free WiFi then good luck getting it

— Anoncre

It was the password. And it seemingly stretched for miles on end, even the rest of the password needed to be written on the spaceship with a marker. Firey sighed in dismay at the prank lying before him.

"Ugh. I'm never EVER gonna try and type that out. Anyways we go inside spaceship"

They went inside spaceship and sat on a conveniently placed sofa near the entrance

"We are inside spaceship"

"Firey pleaaaseee I need your secrets! That's all you need to tell me, then we'll be back to rivals again."

"Ok but the problem is I kinda gay for you" Firey started blushing like crazy his face was all red like Bob the Tomato looking ass

Coiny was flustered too, but was only as red as a faded out red colored pencil

"Whoa, bro, you like, love me? Like really?" Coiny stammered. It was much of an information overload, but he took it with pleasure.

"Yeh—yea. Cuz if you want my secrets—" Firey leaned in towards Coiny's face and puckered his lips. "—you're gonna have to kiss me for them"

It was the most ecstatic Coiny had ever been. He was more than eager to accept this invitation of love. He was ready to do anything for those legendary secrets Firey had in possession.

"Why of course I will! Why wouldn't I; this is such an amazing deal!!!"

They kissed on the sofa while hugging each other snug and tight. Both their faces displayed nothing but the sparks of affection and closeness, ones that were found in the most attached of people. Coiny's face grew brighter because of his pinkish warm blush, which complimented his bronze orange color scheme nicely. Firey's blush only grew more intense to reflect his rising passion and ecstasy in his kisses. It was pure bliss for the both of them, despite knowing that they never ever clearly showed this kind of relationship ever. Like ever. More often than not they only talked friendly banter and did a few stupid friend things together, but never had they ever developed reasonable feelings for each other.

So the question was: why were they kissing right now?

...Screw logic they could instantly become boyfriends whenever they wanted lmaoooooooooo

The deed was done, and the two of them parted with looks of longing toward each other. And then Coiny's face snapped from tender to deadpan in a matter of milliseconds.

"Yeah let's never do that shit ever again NOW GIVE ME YOUR WAYS"

It would have never worked out anyways. Coiny was way too focused on Firey's use of language more than that passionate session by a long run. Meanwhile Firey slowly nodded in regretful agreement. Those red hot incandescent blushes vanished quickly, giving their faces less luster and brightness.

The beans were spilled, Firey told Coiny how he came up with such ingenious words, and Coiny left that spaceship with the most fulfilling and pleased feeling he ever had.

He now plans to put his learned skills to use and roast his next poor, poor victims.

If you want to know Firey's secret to menacing insults too, then you have to kiss him too lmaooo it how it work

(A/N: hello welcome to the first one shot of this terrible book if you want to participate in democracy then this is a great example to show what you're most likely gonna get

I'm not sorry lol I can't take shipping that seriously smh

Ok bye, for now, but maybe you want me gone forever idk I'm not you)