Lol, stupid (possibly discontinued)

striaudh

Lanky hot chip Lie gurl x Avergae McDonald's minimum wage worker

So long asshole

I can't breathe. I can't walk, yet I can see.

What? Am I disabled? You see what I see; I see a fat aaasss chump working over that counter. *points to a dejected Fries*

Things have been slowing down, churning and chugging. I don't have as much energy to convince myself that this won't ever go away.

Do you see this steakhouse? It's called ur mom lol Gelatin the bitch owns this shithole

...if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, then I want to prove it. I know there probably isn't—but it's worth a shot.

So here I am tiptoeing over to the caaasssh register lookin for sum bank. I'm not here to twirl my diddly little finger at the menu and get Grlatin's slaves to serve me; I'm here to DESTROY MY DEBT. What I want here is to KICK ASSES, both the IRS and this stupid ass container of expired Fossils and ashes

"HEEY STOOPPIDDD!!!!" I say prouddly flashing my YLTRA DAVORITE NOOO LSEEEPERS I got from MAH WOMANA FLOWERER!! Sheee is the BEDT at making HIGH FASHION GLAMOROUS GORGEOUS GLITTERY SNEKRTS AND HOOIII HEELSS

"Hi how can I help you" Mr. Dead breathed in then he muttereed "I didn't expect Lollipop out of all people to eat here"

I said "Stp sounding so dead and give me the usual" clacking mah wodneerfull hiiiiiiiii 👠
He stared at me weirdly with the Dwayne Johnson eyebrow raise with Vine boom accompanying it

"are you defth you did not heart me the firt stime" Fry badly said "you are not a reoccurring individual in this establishment"

"But I dont want to 'heart' you!!!! I an here for my USUAL, you DEMETNETED PILE OF BONES!!!!!"

Friess lurked behind the counter with phone in hand "Well I don't know it unless you tell me"

"YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!!!"

"Honestly I don't want to know."

"Are you calling 911 on meeee biitcchh"

"No. But when push comes to shove—"

"Stop croaking your last words old man it is too late" Now I am clackiing my heals at 9999999 mph rate, I am sooooo angeerrryeed. I cock my M48 Hell Hawk Self-Cocking Assault Crossbow Pistol 🔫
"You don't know what this hoe is capable of~"

"EWWWW DISGUSTAND" frites artetpmted to run away from me but he is trapped by his own job. Actually I wasn't there to shoot him but hey first time for everything
He tried to scramble to Gordon Ramsay special kitchen but I got him pinned. I leapt over the counter with my Super ninja 2000 technique (May or May not have ferociously indented the china counter forever) with Self cocking pistol in hand and pointed straight at the spot between Fries's eyes
He started vehemently sobbing and becamr racked with some indiscriminate void of sadness. He was spitting, writhing and rolling back and forth on the "pristine" floors of the steakhouse with bulging eyes and repulsing limbs, now they are rotting from his very presence. What an ugly motherfucker

"I don't need your pity," I said with a grimace
"I just need all that you've accomplished in life."

I briskly pointed my right finger away from the trigger and towards the cash register, giving Fries time to soak it allll in. Then I kicked it open and hauled all of the money into mah bootiful purse did i mention it was so sparkly and pretty and pink and gorgeous and super duper cute

I took all of The Money and made a run to the exit. I could still hear Fries feral primal sobs because he had no other shit to live for that sad sad pathetic bag of trash. He can continue slobbering the floor for all I care, though I do want to see Gelatins petty reaction to his slave having his entire life go by in front of him

For now—This was mission complete. If it was possible I would totally plant a secret bomb in Gelatins food sewer and while walking out CLICKITY CLACKITY I hold the detonator, cool button press and BOOM food poisoning in Goiky is NO MORE!!!!!

___

But I can't tell them everything, because everything is nothing and I like to bend the laws of the universe entirely inside my own head. I feel numb, like a stick broken off of a tree that fell into a 3 meter deep pool. I remember Gelatin screaming fuck all at me the whole day, confused and frustrated as to why I couldn't explain...um, the incident.

I don't feel alive. That moment killed all reason I had to be here, to even think of staying.

The moment I realized my work amounted to nothing. The moment Lollipop barged in and made her very welcome presence known, the moment she stole all of our assets...it slapped me brutally across the face. It said fuck you, this is your reality.

And I liked that. I liked the fact that she out of all people snapped me out of my never ending turmoil of misery. She gave me a resolution she would never come to know.

If I could thank her, I would send her a postcard or whatever, but then again I see no use in that.

Lollipop would never know.

(Oops I messed this one up wahhahahaa)