Lol, stupid (possibly discontinued)

short

I'd like to be happy

I don't know how to feel upon returning to this place. I think I had a better time when I left it almost for good...then I forgot about my friends.

This place, was it even a place? Nothing has changed one bit. Not even an ounce.

The hotel looked like the same, old, grand-ish tower. And the trees and the grass were still inverted. No gusts of wind to be felt, no commotion among the people. It was as if everything was stuck in a time capsule, because that really was how it seemed. The exact same as before.

Was I really happy here? But then again, I wasn't either when I left it.

Nothing to go back to, nothing to support me at my lowest, was leaving this dreamy atmosphere really, REALLY, worth it?

I asked a couple people if a second episode at least took place. Nobody said yes.

But there were people here! People! That's more than anything I could ever ask for! I'd rather feel alone and be with people than feel alone and actually be alone. I don't understand why anyone would go through the pain of knowing that there aren't any people around to help you...literally.

I don't understand people with their mentality of separating themselves from help. That's just downright stupid. The only reason why I'm saying this is because I did it myself.

I was selfish, I knew nothing. Now I know everything in the universe.

I sighed in a feeling of heavy relief, knowing that I've finally made it back. I think, yeah, I did it.

___

The first person that came into mind was obviously my best friend, Eraser!!!!!!

...Uh, umm, yes, my best friend Eraser!!! Err, why do my limbs suddenly feel very very uneasy? And why is my heart rate...three times faster than usual? Wha—no, this isn't love, don't get the wrong idea! I don't think it was love, because I felt like crying for some goddamn reason—ugh, why am I malfunctioning here out of all places?!! Pen, why are you so goddamn awful, why are you so sensitive, silly bastard! This isn't how you act, why are you ACTING like this?

Fuck man. I'm still not over it huh.

I used to have a desire to go see my good old friend again, tell him how I'm feeling, hug him, I dunno, actually talk to him!

He'll understand everything, everything, all of my problems! I think I'll be fine.

"...Afraid of death? What the hell are you on about bro? Did you forget that we can literally come back to life every single time we die? What is there to be afraid of death?"

Ah. I forgot...I mixed some things up I suppose.

I guess even in a dream, you can't escape the damned thing called reality. So how was it that I could possibly mix those two up? Am I special? I think...everyone has always called me special. Special...how special am I really? Probably real fucking special, special boy. Special. Unique. Different, I'm just built different aren't I?

Even if Eraser basically called me fucking stupid, I couldn't care less. I gave him my tightest embrace instead. I was just happy to see him, even if he wasn't.

My reflexes almost prepared for a deafening slap to the face. Any form of rejection, I was heavily anticipating. Instead, I was graced with a caress to my body, then a comforting pat on the back.

"It's ok." He said.

I felt like cringing and crying. For some godawful reason, deep down I knew I wanted to cry onto his shoulder or whatever, deep down I felt like this wasn't right, none of it was, none of it—

Tl;dr: Pen is fucking special :)

In my heart lol but seriously, why is he special

This was just something that came out of my ass in like a short timespan so whatever it's a bit cringe ngl