Empyrean Iris Story Collection

Laughing

Alien: *walks into the recreation hall to see human watching something. Humans snorts*

Alien "Human, what's wrong with you. Do you have something stuck in your face?"

*human looks up smiling*

Human: *Sorry, I was just watching this really funny video, and couldn't help but laugh."

Alien *walks into a room to see a group of humans laughing together much more loudly this time*

Alien, "What are you humans doing?"

Humans *waves hands still laughing*

"Ramirez just told a really funny joke"

Allien: You are louder now than you were before.

Humans: Laughing with people is more fun than laughing alone

Alien *Walks into room without knocking, accidentally runs into half naked huma. Human jumps, stands there for a moment and then starts laughing*

Alien *about to apologize instead* What's so funny, I just invaded your privacy

Human: *still laughing; shrugs* Because I'm embarrassed, so its either laugh or make things awkward for both of us."

Alien: I mean that doesn't make sense, but ok."

Alien *walks into room*

Human department superior: And so I say what's the motor with you... see you get because a car has a motor.

Humans: *laughing unenthusiastically*

Alien *After boss leaves* Why did you laugh? That wasn't even funny?"

Humans: because he's our boss, we're supposed to laugh to make him feel good about himself

Alien: I thought humans laughed when something was funny or awkward.

Humans: We laugh if we want to keep our jobs.

Alien *Sighs in annoyance, but is used to this by now*

*human –doing something stupid– falls heavily and it looks very painful. All around them, the humans are quiet*

Fallen human *stands back up* I'm ok!

Humans: *laugh*

Alien *in frustration* Why are you laughing! He's bleeding and could have died!

Human: Yeah but he didn't.

Alien: Why though!

Human: Because we are relieved. Humans laugh when they are relieved.

Alien *storms off in frustration*

Alien *steps into a room just as another human is running out beat red, eyes angry hands clenched. Aggressive laughter follows him as he goes*

Alien *confused* Why are you laughing, that human seems very upset.

Humans: Because he deserved to be laughed at

Alien: Isn't laughing a good thing though. Why would he be upset at that

Humans: Because laughing at someone is considered rude, you can laugh with them, but laughing at them or about them isn't

Alien: then why would you do it?

Human: because he was behaving inappropriately, being an asshole, and he needed to be put in his place. Humans don't want to tolerate inappropriate social behavior

Alien *grumbles in annoyance but goes with it*

Humans an alien *in a dark spooky place suddenly startled by loud noise. Humans scream and then begin to laugh*

Alien *growing more frustrated* Why are you laughing now! That wasn't funny! No one is making you laugh and we aren't ridiculing anyone!

Humans: It's because we are relieved. Humans laugh to let each other know everything is ok, because you don't laugh when things are dangerous, so hearing other people laugh is a sign to tell everyone to relax.

Alien *suppose it makes sense. Is still annoyed though.*

Alien *is helping human get a splinter out of their hand. It is taking a while and being stubborn*

Human: ow ouch! OW! *Human begins laughing*

Alien *Slams tweezers down in frustration* WHY! WHY are you laughing! This isn't funny at all! I am HURTING you. You are in PAIN.

Human *still giggling* I know, I'm sorry. I laugh when I'm in pain.

Alien BUT WHY!

Human: Because it helps to lessen the pain. If I laugh it hurts less. I suppose it's also a soothing thing. If I'm laughing maybe I can trick my brain into thinking I am ok?"

Alien *Thinking about bashing his head against a wall*

Alien *Walks into the captain's office.* Sir we have a problem

Human *repeatedly, though gently, ramming his forehead against the desk* what now, what in my day could possibly go wrong now! Literally the worst day ever. Come on in just keep piling it on!

Alien: *nervous* there has been an outbreak of a very contagious pathogen starting with the docking crew i thought you should know-

Human: *begins laughing*

Alien: *dumbfounded* Why would you be laughing now. You just said it was the worst day ever.

Human *looks up* I am laughing because its kind of ironic. Plus I am also laughing because its either laugh or cry."

Alien *Slowly walks out of the room, heads back to the office. Tosses all their research on humans into the air and then hides under the desk for the foreseeable future*

No matter how bad or confusing humans seem, they always manage to get worse.