THE MAN IN THE HANGING TREE | Gale Hawthorne

FORTY FIVE - I Won't Be The Monster

YOUR POINT OF VIEW

"Okay Miss Abernathy." The kind middle-aged nurse says with a small smile. "With assistance, we're going to see how well you can stand and walk." Her hair is a stunning violet, her skin a soft bronze. She's Capitol-- one of the good ones who were spared.

Translation of her previous statement: we're going to see how damaged my body truly is.

I swing my useless legs over the one side of the stiff bed, my dad is quickly at my side to hold my arm for support. He hasn't left my side since I woke up, and Gale left.

I shoo him away quickly. "If I'm going to live like this for the rest of my life, I'm going to have to get used to it." I tell him, I'll have to get used to my brokenness. 

He gives me a soft, weary smile, unsure, but he backs off a few steps anyway still reluctant. 

"We've had braces made for your legs." The nurse says, her kind crystalline eyes make me miss my mother dearly. "They should help you get a bit of movement, but otherwise you'll be wheelchair bound until the nerves heal."

She straps the silver braces around my tight pants as I grumble under my breath, "If they ever heaI."

The nurse, Azalea I think she said her name was, stands up again at my side. "Alright, Miss Abernathy, whenever you are ready." She offers another smile.

I take a deep breath, then with my dad hovering on my left, and Azalea on my right, I stand on my own bare feet for the first time in days. 

I sway a moment, my legs threaten to buckle, but the braces lock my knees. I have a bit of feeling and movement in my hips, but everything downward is numb. The floor should be cold on my bare skin, but I do not feel it. The deep lacerations that adorn the flesh of my legs should sting, but no pain is present.

Numb is almost worse though, in a twisted sort of way. I would almost rather endure another round of electrocution then to be numb the rest of my life.

"Good job!" Nurse Azalea praises, as if I'm a child learning to walk for the first time. I realize in horror that's practically what this is. "Now try to take a few steps."

I can move my hips at least, so I try my best to shuffle forward. I get a few paces before gravity takes over, and I'm tumbling into my dad's arms. Azalea rushes to get the wheel chair that was in the corner of the room, and my dad sits me on it gingerly.

"That was great!" Azalea praises again. "That was a great first walk, you just have to keep that up and you'll be walking again in no time!"

But I'm hardly listening to her, I'm crying again for the hundredth time in the past couple days. 

Azalea excuses herself with a mutter, knowing this is a personal family matter. I just need my dad right now, my dad who wraps his arms tightly around me.

"It's alright, kiddo." He rubs my back soothingly. "It's alright, I'm here." And it is just a little bit more alright knowing that he truly is here to stay.

I sob into his shoulder, releasing all the pain building up in my chest. Sure my body barely feels any pain, but my heart stings worse then a weeping bullet wound. It feels like somehow someone has stuck pieces of shattered glass where the pumping organ should be.

He's gone for good, I just have to learn to accept that.

Suddenly my dad pulls away to press something into my palm, and I choke back another round of tears when I realize what it is.

The ring, Gale's family's ring, the one he proposed to me with, the pretty vintage diamond and gold one. I thought I had lost it, I suppose they just had to take it off during surgery.