Sweetest Fear

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 31

YOONGI's P.O.V.

The moment I saw her at the zoo, I almost stopped breathing as my heart started to beat erratically. I had the strong urge to pull her into my arms but I stopped myself. I should not show her. I know that I should be mad at her for what she did but I can't. I am trying my best to act like I am really mad but deep inside, I just want to pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless just to make up with the lost time. I never stopped loving her, and the moment I saw our son, I really want to break down and cry. He is so big now and he looks just like me. I want to hug him so bad but I know I will just startle him. 

I know that we have a son. Her father told me everything about her current situation before I went here. Five years has passed and yet my feelings for her stayed the same and if possible it became stronger. Looking at her now, I still can't believe that she is finally right in front of me telling me her story on why she left me five years ago and hid the fact that we have a son. She is crying, and God knows how much I want to cradle her in my arms to comfort her. It pains me to see her crying like this.

"I'm sorry Yoongi, I know it's all my fault. Please forgive me." Tears are now streaming down her face after she told me her story. I want to say "It's okay." and pull her in a hug but it is not okay. Why didn't she tell me in the first place? I could have done something. I am her husband, didn't she trust me? How dare she decide for me? 

Too many thoughts are now coming into my mind as I recall everything that have happened. I hate myself for not knowing the whole situation my wife was in because I was too busy with my career. If only I have known, I know deep down inside that I am willing to sacrifice my career for my family. I know my brothers will understand.

"No, it's not your fault. You just have no choice. Have you already told him what happened after that?" I looked up and saw Kim Jinhwan. How could I forget him, when he was the guy my wife was bethrothed to? Unfortunately they can't get married because I never signed the divorce papers. What is mine will forever be mine! But knowing that he was beside my wife all these past few years makes me feel so mad. I should have been in his place. I clenched my jaw and my palm as I control the anger seeping through me.

"Jinhwan, what are you doing here?" I saw how nervous my wife is. I know he feels that one wrong move and all hell will break lose. She immediately stood up and face Jinhwan. 

"I came here to give you something. Can we talk...privately?"Jinhwan threw me a glance before he looks at my wife lovingly. F*ck! How dare he look at her like that? 

I don't know what came to me but I hurriedly stood up and stand in between them. I stand a few inches in front of him completely blocking his view of my wife. Five years is enough, I will never let him go near my wife again.

"We are still talking about family matters. How about you go home now? We don't need an outsider." I said through gritted teeth as his brows furrowed. 

"I am not talking to you. And an outsider? Who? Me? Huh! As far as I can remember I am her family for the past five years. You are nothing! Where were you when she was in the brink of death? Where were you when Yonggi was born and growing up?" I felt like he punched me in the stomach and I was speechless. I stood there rooted on the spot while clenching my fist so tight I can feel my nail digging into my flesh. He is right. I was never there, but it was not my choice! The truth f*cking hurts and I have no one else to blame but myself, because I didn't do my best to find her after she ran away because I was drowning in my own misery. 

"Stop! Please Jinhwan! Stop! I beg you!" Sarrah Noona stepped in front of me, tears streaming down her lovely face and pulled Jinhwan away from me. "Alright, I will talk to you, but let's make it quick." I looked up and saw Sarrah noona's serious expression as he look at Jinhwan. She wiped the tears on her face and walked away Jinhwan following right behind. I want to stop her but I don't know what to say. I know that all that happened is not only Noona's fault, I am to blame as well, because I was not man enough to look for her.

SARRAH's P.O.V.

I lead Jinhwan to the door, but before I opened it I looked back and saw Yoongi staring. I tried to brush it off as I look at Jinhwan. "Jinhwan," I started but before I could finish my sentence, he smiled and looked at me sadly. "It's still him, isn't it?" He asked while looking at me with a sad smile. I shook my head and avoided his gaze because I can't stand looking at the hurt in his eyes. I felt his hand touched my face that made me look at him. " Don't worry. I understand. After all these years. You still love him." He stated as he looked in my eyes. 

I looked back and I can see sadness and disappointment in them. I can see his heart being broken, and it also makes me sad. He is my dearest friend. I don't want him to be sad. I know that he have done a lot for me for these past five years but what can I do? My heart belongs to Yoongi and our son. He deserves the truth. I slowly nodded my head in agreement as a tear fall on my face. "I'm sorry." I apologized and looked away from him.

He gently pulled me into a hug and started caressing my hair. "Ssshhh. It's okay. Don't be sorry. Love can not be forced. No one falls in love by choice, it's by chance. I feel you." He slowly pushed me away and reached out to wipe my tears away with a gentle smile on his lips.

"Thank you. Thank you for understanding. By the way, why are you here so late?" I asked as I stepped away from his embrace and started wiping the tears on my face. He looked surprised as if he really remembered something.

"That! I almost forgot." He picked something from his pocket and handed me a small red velvet box." I froze while looking at the box. I didn't take it because I am afraid that it is something I think it is. I heard him chuckle before that made me look at him. "Take it. It's for you. Happy Birthday!" He took my hand and put the box in it. "What is this?" I asked without making a move to open it. "Open it and you will know." He ordered.

I took a deep sigh before I reluctantly opened the box. My eyes went wide with shock. I almost forgot how to breathe. It's an 18 carat diamond ring. I immediate closed the lid and handed the box back to Jinhwan with an apologetic look. "Jinhwan, I-" Before I could finish my protest, someone took the box of ring from my hand and handed it back to Jinhwan with a little force. I whipped my head to the guy who interevened and saw Yoongi flaring up. "She doesn't need it. Thanks! You can go home now. It's getting late." Yoongi stated through gritted teeth before he  started shoving Jinhwan out the door. How and when he get there next to me, I wasn't aware.

 "Yah! We are still talking!" I heard Jinhwan protested before Yoongi closed the door but he didn't pay him any attention. Yoongi looked at me with a frown. "Did he just proposed to you and you accepted?" He looked mad! My eyes went wide with the accusation while I shook my hands and head vigoriously.

"No! I did not! It's a misunderstanding!" I tried to explain my side but he started taking steps towards me and before I knew it my back already hit the wall. I am cornered. My eyes went wide when I realized how close I am to him. I can feel his hot breath fanning my face. I tried to breathe in to calm myself but I smelled his familiar scent and I lost it. I can feel my heart beating wildly. It's been years and yet he still has the same effect on me. I honestly want to reach out and kiss him but I am not sure if he had already forgiven me.

"Remember my dear wife, you are only mine." He growled in his deep voice as he looked into my eyes. I can't help but drown in those two dark pits. He really has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. His head is getting lower and lower and before I knew what was happening, his lips touched mine and I immediately closed my eyes and let my heart feel. I felt electricity run through my veins as I tasted his lips. I can feel his thirst as he starts to devour my lips. It's been so long since I felt this feeling. My heart is pounding so hard. I felt the tip of his tongue touch my lower lip seeking for entrance as he pulls me closer to his body and so I obliged. A moan escaped my lips as he started to kiss me on my chin down to my neck.

"Mommy! Who is he?" I felt like I was splashed with cold water when I heard our son's voice. I instinctively pushed Yoongi away and covered my mouth. A few feet away from us is our son wide awake and looking at Yoongi. I closed my eyes in humiliation. I honestly want to disappear on the spot. Now, what do I say to our son?