Sweetest Fear

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 22

YOONGI's P.O.V.

From the airport, instead of heading straight back to our dorm, I insisted to our manager to drop me off at our company. I have an urgent matter to discuss with Bang PD-nim. 

"Yoongi-ssi, Mr. Bang is in a meeting right now. You have to wait for the meeting to be over before you can talk to him." Miss Yumi, Mr. Bang's secretary informed me. I clicked my tongue and headed over to the couch at the corner and waited. Luckily I didn't wait long. A man in a navy blue suit with grayish hair just walked out of Mr. Bang's office. I wonder who he is. I am sure I have never seen him before. I knocked three times before I entered our CEO's office. I saw Bang PD-nim in his seat, seriously reading a piece of paper. I think he didn't even notice I was already inside his room and so I cleared my throat to get his attention. As soon as he saw me standing in front of him he immediately broke into a huge grin and approached me with a warm hug. 

"Oh! Yoongi! Welcome back! Long-time no see! So, tell me, what is it that you want that instead of sleeping right now after a long and tiring tour you are here beside me?" Mr. Bang PD-nim playfully wiggled his eyebrows as he guided me to seat in the visitor's chair. My palm started to sweat. I didn't know that asking for my wife's whereabouts will be this nerve-wrecking, but I gather my courage. I desperately want to know what is going on with her. I want to see her.

 "Actually hyung, it's about Sarrah Noona."I saw how Bang PD-nim facial expression changed from being accommodating and friendly to cold and distant. "Ah, Miss Park Sarrah? Speaking of her..." Bang PD-nim slowly walked to his table and reached out for the piece of paper he was reading a few minutes ago and handed it to me. I have to read twice the heading of the paper just to be sure. But even after reading it, I still can't believe that I will be seeing this kind of paper again after five years. 

"Divorce Papers?" I asked Bang PD-nim in disbelief. "Why do you have this?" I threw the paper on the desk in front of me. I hate those papers. I will never divorce my wife. No! Not in this lifetime. "Why didn't you tell me about this before, Yoongi-yah?" I can see disappointment in Bang PD-nim's eyes and I feel guilty for not telling him even though he trusted me since he took me in during those times when I have nothing. I took a deep sigh before I apologized. "I'm sorry." Yes, I am sorry, but not because I married my wife, but because I didn't tell Bang PD-nim the truth. 

"I can't say it's okay because it is not okay. You just hid something very important from me, from our company. That secret could destroy everything we worked so hard to build in the past years and could hurt the other members. I could sue you, you know?" I felt my anxiety building up, I could take all the blame and the backlash of this issue but I couldn't take it if someone get hurt in the process, especially if it's Sarrah noona or one of my members. "But I wouldn't do that, that is why you need to sign those papers to fix everything up." Bang PD-nim picked up the papers I just threw and handed it back to me. 

"Take this into consideration. You still have a dream right? Besides, I think she also wants to call it quits since she already signed the papers." My eyes widened in disbelief when I heard that she signed the papers. That is impossible, because the last time we talked, we already decided to fix our marriage. No! That is not true! I grabbed the papers and checked if she really did sign the divorce papers. My eyes scanned the paper and I almost went weak on my knees when I saw it. She really did sign it. I felt hurt, I felt betrayed. I unconsciously crumpled the paper in frustration. I don't understand it, we were just fine before we left for the tour, and then suddenly she stopped communicating with me and now this?

"Just sign it, Yoongi. You know that it will be for the better for the both of you." Bang PD-nim coaxed me. It took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts. No, I am not going to sign this. I need to talk to her first. I need her explanation. I walked out of Bang PD-nim's room without any direction in mind, I just need to clear my head first. "Yah! Where are you going? Just sign the papers, alright?" I heard bang PD-nim shout before the elevator door closed but I ignored him. I didn't sign the papers five years ago. What made them think that I will sign it this time? 

I ended up going to my friend's bar and restaurant in Bukcheon Hanok Village. As usual, he was very welcoming, but when he noticed that I am not in a very good mood he offered to make me a drink and he stopped bothering me. He knows that when I a m in a foul mood nothing can make me talk. I was on my sixth glass of whisky when I heard a familiar song. I turned around and there was this girl who was singing "When I Look at You" the one song Sarrah noona and I performed in this very bar more than a month ago. I felt my heart being squeezed. I miss her, I want to see her so bad. I felt a tear fall down my eyes as I remember the divorce papers, but I immediately wipe it away. Why is it always so easy for her to sign those papers? I thought she loves me. 

I finished my drink and decided to go to Han River for some fresh air since I know I wouldn't be able to sleep yet. Han River isn't as crowded as it used to be during summer and it's a good thing since there are not too many people around . I took a sip from my canned beer as I look at the cruise ship we rode more than a month ago. It feels just like yesterday when I took her here and performed for her just to make her smile. Again, remembering her smile make my heart ache so much. I look up at the sky to stop my tears from falling. I need to see her now. I picked up my phone and dialed her number but it was out of reach, I tried and tried until I got tired. I just can't help but sigh. I run my hand on my hair in frustration and look up at the moon above hoping to find the answers I was looking for in them, but alas! Nothing came. After finishing six can of beers I decided to go home. Feeling a little bit light headed as I got out of my grab car, I saw a small figure standing in front of our dorm. I squinted my eye to take a good look but the shadows made by the lamp post beside it made it impossible. Who could that be? It was already late at night. It's impossible for anyone to be visiting the members this late. The figure turned its head towards me when it noticed my presence. I stopped in my track. Could it be a ghost? The spirit of the alcohol immediately left, and my brain is telling me to run but my instinct is telling me otherwise.

"Yoongi." I froze. In my drunken state I know I am not mistaken. I immediately recognized that voice. Before I could stop myself, I came running towards her and hugged her as if my life depended on it. Oh God! I miss her. "Noona, Bogoshipda!(Noona, I Miss you!)" I whispered as I nuzzled my head in her neck as her sweet scent assaulted my senses. "Nado. (Me,too.)" She answered as she hugged me back. Her hug calmed me down. A comfortable warmth spread across my chest and it feels like home. She was about to let go but I stopped her. "Let's stay like this for a few more minutes." I heard a soft "Okay." And so I hugged her tighter. I am actually scared if I let her go she might disappear on the spot, afraid that this is just a hallucination caused by intoxication but when I felt that everything is real I slowly released her but I didn't totally let her go.

"Yoongi, can we talk?" I felt scared hearing those words from her but I nodded my head as I lead her inside our dorm. How could I say no when she was looking at me with those big round eyes of her as if she can see through my soul. I looked around our dorm as we enter and everything is quiet, looks like all members are already sleeping since all were tired from our tour. I made her sit in our couch as I fetch some warm tea to make her feel warm and a cup of coffee for me to sober me up. She uttered a small thanks before she took a sip from her cup. There was a moment of silence as we keep glancing at each other if we were waiting for each other to speak up. 

"Yoongi,"

"Noona,"We speak both at the same time. I saw her smile and I can't help but smile too. We look a little silly. "Ladies first." I encouraged her. She took a deep sigh as she fidget with her fingers before she looked at me with desperation in her eyes. "Yoongi-yah, do you really love me? Will you leave this place with me? Please let's get out of here. Let's go somewhere else, where people don't know us, where people won't be able to find us. I don't care where as long as I am with you. I am okay with that." She pleaded. I was taken aback by her request. I didn't expect that to came out of her mouth. I thought that she will beg for that divorce. I am now more confused, what exactly is going on?