Sweetest Fear

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 11

I lost track of time of how long I was weeping. When I felt like there are no more tears left to cry. I slowly moved away from him, wiped my tears away and stood up. "I'm sorry."  I apologized in a whisper. "What for?" He asked, utterly confused with my sudden apology. "For staining your clothes." I replied without looking at him before I turn around to walk away from him but then I noticed some people watching us and whispering to each other and some are even holding their phones up to my face. I bit my lip and realized what I just did. Will this create another scandal for Yoongi?

I slowly turned my head to glance at Yoongi as I am slowly eaten by anxiety. I was too immersed with my emotions that I completely ignored my surrounding. Thankfully, he is fully covered with his bull cap and face mask on. I breath a sigh of relief before before I continued walking away. But before I could take another step, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside a cab. Wait! Why are we in a cab? Where is his van? And when did he hail the cab? I looked at him utterly speechless. 

"You don't have to say anything, but I know, right now, in your condition, you need some company." He muttered without looking at me. I clamped my lips together and simply looked away towards the window. What is he even talking about? I am used to being alone. I don't need any company. Did he forget how I grew up before I met him? But instead of arguing with him I chose silence. 

After a few minutes, I noticed that we are going the wrong way. This is not the way back to their company's building. "Where are you taking me?" I asked but he did not reply. I stared at him and waited for a few minutes but he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. I rolled my eyes at him and talked to the driver. "Ahjussi, please pull over." I ordered but the taxi driver just looked at me through the rearview mirror and did nothing. "I said, pull over. Stop the car right now!" I muttered through gritted teeth. I am not in the mood to go anywhere I just want to be alone. "Noona." I heard Yoongi called me before I felt his hand wrapped on mine. "Please, I just want to be alone." I begged. Yoongi just stared at me and slowly raised his free hand to cup my face and wiped away the tear that escaped from my eyes. I looked away quite embarrassed. I don't want to break down in front of him and the taxi driver again.

"I wish you could tell me the cause of your pain. I don't want to see you like this." He whispered in his husky voice as he made me look at him again. "What happened, Noona? I know I told you earlier that you don't have to say anything but if talking can somehow alleviate your pain. Then, I am all ears." I felt something warm spread around my chest. I feel like crying all over again. I looked away and bit my lip to stop a sob from escaping. "Noona." Yoongi mumbled. I looked at him and I can see through my blurry vision that he is worried about me. This is the Yoongi I have known and fell in love with. He may look cold outside but deep inside he is a very sensitive and caring person and so before I realize what I was doing, I started telling him what happened a few minutes ago.

"My mom is dead." I confessed in a hoarse whisper. He looked at me like I grew another head on my shoulder. "I already know that. You told me she died after giving birth to you, right?" He asked, clearly confused by my statement. I nodded my head. "But then, your CEO, Bang Sihyuk PD-nim told me that she knows a person who has the same name as my mom and looks a lot like me. That person arrived here in Seoul a few days ago and so Bang PD-nim arranged for us to meet." I paused and looked at Yoongi's reaction. He was listening intently and so I continued. "I met her a few minutes ago. I didn't want to hope that she could be alive all this time but I thought what if there was a possibility that my mom is still alive because I never visited her grave even though my grandma told me she died after giving birth to me. And so even if I didn't want to, I expected for my mother to be alive." I paused because I can feel something is blocking my throat and it's gets harder to breathe. I felt Yoongi held my hand tighter to encourage me continue. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. "I hoped to meet my mother and so I got severely disappointed." I tried to smile to hide the pain but then my tears start to fall. He reached out to wipe away the tears that doesn't stop falling before pulling me for a hug. "I'm sorry, Noona." He apologized. I shook my head in response. "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have expected." I felt him pat my back as I continued to cry.