Why Would You Ever Kiss Me?

Heather

Lydias POV
It was Monday morning and I have finding it hard to get out of bed lately.
I was never like this. Then she came. She came and made heads turn and jaws drop.
She did what I was always doing.
And it was effortless.
And it infuriated me.

It was strange you know? Stiles was never really my type. I liked more of the winners you know I wasn't really into the underdogs. But seeing him fall for her and forget me? Unacceptable.
My whole life.
My whole God damn life I have tried so hard to be the best I can be.
My hair always done, makeup done, nails never chipped, and styles to a tee. It was very high maintenance but rewarding.

My mom always taught me that it doesn't matter what's in your head, brush your hair and fix your teeth, get yourself a rich man to take care of the rest.
Just be beautiful.

"Lydia! Honey hurry up you're going to be late!" My mom called from down stairs. I looked at myself in the mirror and tilted my head at the reflection. I snapped out of it and grabbed my bag to head out.
"Oh Lydia!" My mom exclaimed as I reached the front door. "You're wearing that?"
"Why? What's wrong with it?" I asked. If I wasn't unsure and insecure before, I am now. She made a face and inhaled sharply.
"It's just a little... I don't know. Not flattering." She said.
I covered my arms over my stomach as her eyes narrowed in on my stomach area.

She turned her back to me and I left. I ran to my car and felt a bit safer and far less judged in there.
I felt the tears but I inhaled and exhaled, fanned my face and held it back. If my outfit looked terrible I couldn't afford for my makeup to smear.
I pushed my hair from my face and drove to school.

Once I was in the parking lot I knew I was already a bit late. No one was outside of the school and no one had texted me asking me where I was or if I was coming today. Not even Jackson.
I knew his thoughts of Stassi and I could guess about what he says in the locker room or what he thinks when he watches her walk by.

I inhaled and exhaled again, but it was no use. Everyone thinks I'm a nut case and I was old news and I was a bitch. Everything was so much better for me until she got here!
I longed for a fresh start in college, but I feel as if I had already peaked in high school and it was going to be a long way down from here. And she's stay on top.
I felt tears fall from the corners of my eyes and licked my glossed lips as they fell.

Then the insecurities and the voice in my head telling me all the things I hate about myself got louder and louder and I no longer could care about how my makeup looked because it was all too much.
I felt ugly and mean.
And they all think she's so great. And Stiles thinks she created life itself.
Everything I threw at her she just rose above it. I brought her ex to dinner! I tried and tried to get Stiles to hook up with me! And she just forgives.

Knock knock.
I was startled and when I saw who it was I just turned my face the other way.
"Lydia?" She asked softly.
"Go away." I said harshly.
"Lydia I just want to make sure you're okay.."
"I'm fine! Go away!"
She didn't leave. They usually do. And she has every reason to not listen. To not help. But here she is.
I turned to her and she bent down a bit looking into my window.
"I'm not leaving until you smile." She said. Corny.

I rolled down my window unenthusiasticlly.
"Get in." I said tilting my head to the passenger seat and unlocked the door.
She walked around and climbed in.
It was quite and uncomfortable for a bit.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why what?" She asked confused.
"Why the hell are you being so nice to me? After all I did to you? Why are you so nice?!" I said angerly.

She sighed and kind of shrugged her shoulders. "Well, because in the lifestyle I grew up in people are mean all the time, and I've seen what it's done to people, I don't want to do that to people." She said.
"God! You just get more and more freaking perfect!" I yelled out.
She laughed.
"I am in no way perfect." She said giggling. I knew she was saying that to seem relatable or to make me feel better, but I knew better. And I rolled my eyes.
"Shut up." I said. "You're rich, you're skinny, all the guys love you. You're freaking nice!" I said. "And and you're pretty! Sometimes... I just wish I was you." I admitted.