Why Would You Ever Kiss Me?

Somewhere Only We Know

Stassis POV
I lied.
I took the jet to New York that night.
I had a red eye from California to the city.
My friends picked me up at 5 in the morning and we went back to the apartment we shared in Manhattan.
The black G-Wagon waited by the runway and I felt so complete.

I was back in the greatest city in the world. I was back in my city.
I was so happy to be back.

The four of us went to the rooftop and we sat there in the cold, it felt like I never left.
Sahar was an old friend from forever ago, her dad is VP of financing of Stark Industries. I met Kelsey at piano lessons, her mom was the editor of Vogue. And Brooke knew Kelsey and we all just clicked. Her parents owned a law firm in Connecticut.

"Boys suck. No matter where you are in the world." Kelsey said.
"Forget him. There's a party downtown tomorrow, well technically tonight, and you're going." Sahar said.
"Yeah uh huh who's party?" I asked.
"It's Harry's." She replied and I rolled my eyes.
"It was you guys who told me to stay away from rockstars."
I said and we all laughed because it was true.
"Yeah but here's the catch, you'll be the heartbreaker." She said.

I knew they just wanted to make me feel good, but being in the city was enough for me. I also didn't feel like forgetting Stiles yet.

"So.." Brooke said looking at me seriously, "what exactly happened?"
I explained everything and it felt like forever ago and I didn't want to make Stiles seem like a bad guy, because he's not and I still was holding onto hope that I'll forget about this and it wasn't true.

"Aw Anna.." Kelsey said looking sad.
"Yeah I know."
"So what did you do?" Sahar asked.
"What did I do? I ran like I always do." I said laughing but it was the sad truth. "I hopped on a flight to here and I haven't answered any messages I can't even look because I know that I'll just forget and I'll let him get away with hurting me like I've done before and God I can't keep doing that!"

I ranted and they just listened. They were always so good at listening and knowing when to just listen, give advice, and they kept me grounded and would tell me if I was over or under reacting.
"You can still care for others people hearts without abandoning yours." Brooke said.
"I just feel like I have so much love to give that I will throw it at anyone willing to take it and it seems to just fuck me over everytime." I said.

"Well," Sahar said, "trying giving some of that to yourself."
"I don't know how.."
"Well, you can learn. You're good at that." Kelsey chimned in.
"You hold onto too much." Brooke said.
"Where do I put it down?" I asked trying to understand.
"You need to stop blaming yourself for things you couldn't control." She said.

I craved it. Control. To be so intuitive and intelligent that nothing could get past me. That I could feel as if I was the real author of my life. That I owned everything that happened to me. I could tell the stories. And if people wanted to be written warmly about, they should have behaved better.

The sun was creeping up. I could see my breath come out in clouds.
"It's hard to leave." I said. "Until you do it. The. it's the easiest God damn thing in the world."
But I never just leave, I try to mentally erase anything that reminds of whoever I'm running from.
I never heal, I just distract myself.

"Well go get some rest. Well go out and have a good time and forget the bullshit all around us for a bit." Sahar said rubbing my arm.
We left the rooftop and I crawled back into my old bed.

I didn't really want to go out because I knew that seeing Harry would just start something I wasn't willing to finish. And I had missed my friends, I just wanted to be with them for now. I hadn't gotten the courage to look at my phone and I don't know when I will get it.
But maybe, if I just fall asleep, I can forget about this nonsense a little bit longer.