Why Would You Ever Kiss Me?

deja vu

Stiles POV
I stood there.
Suit and black tie.
Newt gave the eulogy and he couldn't make it through.

The picture they used of her was the same one I kept in my car, to remind me to drive safely. How effortlessly beautiful she looked. So angelic and peaceful.
I will never get passed this.
How can I ever love someone else?

I stood with Mr. and Mrs. Stark. I cried quietly next to them.
Hero never looked up the entire time.
Scott, Allison, Lydia, Jackson, Boyd, Isaac, and Erika sat behind us.
All I could do was stare at her picture and just try not to forget how soft her skin was and the sound of her voice.
I wonder if a memory is what you have or what you've lost.

Newt sat back down after running off and held his head in the crook of his arm shielding his face away from everyone else.
"Annastassia may be no more. But the world was somehow touched by her. May she rest in peace and live on in our memories." The priest said.

The place was filled.
I hope she knew just how loved she was.
"Stiles.." I heard from somewhere. I looked around and I saw her friends from New York. "Yeah.." I said with my voice cracking.
They hugged me and sobbed on my shoulder. "Thank you." The blonde one Brooke said. "She needed a love like yours."
"I, thank you." Was all I could say.
All three cried while talking to Mr. and Mrs. Stark.

Newt and Hero both came up to me after and I've never seen these two so... broken. Before I could choke something out Newt hugged me and we cried together.
"I'm so sorry Newt. It was my fault I shouldn't have been there none of this would have happened."
"You know I remember when she first told us about you..." he said rubbing his hand over his mouth. "We were skeptical you know we knew her type, but God you would have thought you created the stars the way she talked about you." He said.
I sobbed and choked out, "You two too." Hero didn't say anything still. "The way she thought of you guys, it was like you were Gods to her. She really loved you."
I felt a pressure on my leg and I looked down to see Klaus hugging on my leg.
I crouched down to be eye level with him.

"Hey buddy, how you doin?" He didn't say anything and you could see tears caught in the inner rim of his glasses.
He hugged me.
His little arms wrapped around my shoulders and I hugged him back.
"It's gonna be okay pal." I said to him.
"Will you still come over?" He asked in a whisper with his head on my shoulder.
"Whenever you want me to." I responded.

I tried not to look at Nellie to much, it looked like her.
Hero put his hand on my shoulder and sucked his breath in and sniffed shaking his head.
"You're a good fourth brother." He said.
He was younger than me but larger and more muscular.
I pulled him in patting him on the back.
"I'm gonna need you guys too." I said to him.

Mr. and Mrs. Stark came up to me next.
"Mr. Stark I-" before I could finish he hugged me too.
"I can never thank you enough for what you've done for our daughter." He said. 
"There's no need. She did more for me than I ever got the chance to tell her."
"She knew." Mrs. Stark said.

After the room had cleared I stood in front of the closed casket. I took my jacket off and thought about opening it and putting it in there with her.
"Ceremony's over son." The priest said walking out of a door in the back.
"I know.. I'm sorry I'm just-"
"No one is ever ready. But tomorrow, the sun will rise and it will set. Nothing can hurt her now. She's at peace."
"But what do I do?" I asked selfishly.
"You live son, you live." He said.

                              8 months later
I had my bags packed and I was ready to move into school. I had to leave everything I ever knew and loved today.
"You almost ready?" My dad asked leaning in my door frame.
"Yeah I just, I just have to do something first." I said to him.
"Alright pal." He said.