Why Would You Ever Kiss Me?

Falling

Stassis POV
I got the whole run down on what had happened and I know exactly who he was talking about.
"She's friends with my roommates." I said kind of piecing shit together.
"I kind of recognized her this morning but she stopped by again later. She's like really passive aggressive.."
"She's a bitch!" Christian said quickly.

I mean yeah but.. on the other hand... Stiles does look really cute wearing my hockey hoodie.
So thank you bitch!
"Did you at least get my burger?" I asked jokingly trying to lighten the mood.
He laughed patting his hair with paper towels and replied, "No! I didn't even get mine!"

We all kind of laughed and joked although this whole situation gave me a bad feeling that this could get a lot messier.

"Let's go have a cigarette or something this shit is stressing me out." Mitchel said looking pretty annoyed.
Hangry.

A nice man apologized to them and offered their meals on the house and had them packed to go.
I honestly couldn't wait to get out of there because I was in the middle of homework and I look like a complete bum.
It was embarrassing being dressed the way I was in the midst of everyone else around dressed all cute and dolled up.

We left the bar and started to head back to campus.
"Thank you, you know for coming so quick." Stiles said awkwardly walking besides me.
"Quick? Do you know how long it takes to look like this?!" I said sarcastically.
I didn't want him to know how excited I was to be able to see him, despite the circumstances, and I had thought that my quickness was going to be received as desperate.
But it was nice to know that in shitty situations that he called me.
And I hope my responsiveness shows not being desperate, but that he can count on me.

"Shut up!" He said playfully shoving my shoulder. "Don't even you look fine. At least you're not soaking wet!"
"Well the hoodie is dry." I joked and he laughed nervously and nodded his head.

"So are your parents coming for parents weekend this week?" He asked me.
"Uh no no they have work." I said embarrassed.
They were always working. All the time.
They weren't involved that much with me.
To be honest I didn't even bother asking them because I knew the answer and even after all this time, the rejection still hurts.
So I'm going to not hurt my own feelings and not mention it.

I probably should try to call them though.

"You?" I asked.
"Yeah yeah my dads coming up." He said smiling.
"You two close?" I asked.
"Yeah. It's been him and me for a long time. Besides Scott he's my best friend."
"That's nice." I was kind of jealous.
I wanted a relationship like that with my parents.

I didn't know what was worse. Their absence or their presence.

"You comin back to the dorm?" Scott asked me.
I kind of looked to Stiles for his approval or if he had even wanted me there too.
I knew it was their boys night and I understand that guys need guy time to do and talk about guy stuff.

"Come on. Stay with us. You can get high and talk with us." Mitchel said.
Stiles looked to me with wide and inviting eyes.
"What the hell.." I said caving in and going against my overthinking.

It was already dark.
And I knew myself.
And I know that the nights get hard for me.
It's getting darker and I'm starting to get anxious.
So to know and to not feel so alone will help.
At least I think it will, it's been a long time since I had people to confide in.

I had slipped to Stiles about Benny.
And I know my casual mention of him was probably startling but I never dealt with it so it was easy for me to not break apart mentioning him.
He was so sad.
And he was in so much pain.
And although I wanted to be mad at him, God I wanted to tell him 'fuck you! fuck you for leaving me here alone!' but I also wanted to tell him 'you fought so hard. for so long. I understand. I'll take this pain so you don't have to anymore.' I just wish he had left me a note or something.
I miss him terribly.