Why Would You Ever Kiss Me?

This Side Of Paradise

Stiles POV
I got the address and was on my way.
I couldn't believe the fact that Stassi would still give me a chance after this disaster but I wasn't complaining.
Maybe she really does like me, and didn't just feel sorry for me like Lydia said she did.

I was nothing compared to this ex of hers. He was about 6'4 and had blonde hair and blue eyes with muscles and styles. All things I didn't. Girls usually fall in love with blue eyes, not brown.
But, I would never lay a hand on a woman like that. So, he's really no man.

I also had no idea, that that was the scar on her ribs, and once I broke out of my frozen state, I wanted to kill him.
I wanted to make him feel how she felt. The fear in her eyes at the sight of him. The shaking in her voice God I can't get it out of my head.
The more I thought, the more I felt like crying.

I could help but think of her, so small and helpless at the hands of him. And I never knew she suffered from panic attacks either and that her mind was beating her up all the time. I just can't believe that she thinks so little of herself. I wish I could give her my eyes so she can see herself through them.
I think the world of her.
She is so brave and quiet, I forget she's suffering.

I pulled up to iron gates and the security guard looked at me, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah," I said taking out my phone and showing him the address. "I'm picking someone up at this address."
"Name?" He asked picking up a clipboard.
"Stiles." I said getting impatient.
He looked at the pages and flipped through them, grunting.
"Look man, I'm picking up Stassi Stark she's at this address okay?" I said and he looked at me disapproving.
He picked up and phone and said, "Hey it's Ernie at the front gate, I got a kid here asking for Stassi Stark at Jenner house.. Mm.. Mhm. Alright."
He pressed a button and the gates creaked open.
"Thank you." I said rolling my eyes.

I pulled up the winding road up to the house, uh mansion actually. I hopped out of my car and knocked on the huge doors. I heard footsteps and the door opened up and Kylie stood there.
"Stiles?" She asked.
"Uh yeah. That's me." I said extremely nervous.
"Come on in." She said opening the door more and I followed her closing it behind me.
"Do me a favor.." She said putting something in my hands. "Make sure she doesn't forget to take these anymore." It was a prescription bottle for anti-anxiety. Xanax.
"Stass!" She called out.

I stood awkwardly in the foyer next to the massive twisting staircase waiting for her to come down.
"Nice house." I said trying to make conversation.
"Thanks." She said looking at me sideways. "Sorry we had to meet like this." I said knowing she probably didn't like me that much. She scoffed.
"Please. I feel like I already know you. She talks about you all the time." She said crossing her arms.
"I've grown up with Stassi. My moms ex husband used to be the Starks lawyer, mostly for Tony when he got in trouble. He grew up with my older sisters, and my mom was like a second mom to him." She said lightening up.
"I hadn't met Mr. Stark yet." I said. "I met 3 of the brothers."
"This lifestyle is hard.." She admitted. "Especially when you didn't sign up for it. Some people are made for this, Stassi and I always felt like we weren't. Being followed and having your privacy invaded." She said shrugging. "It's just not her fault, what's wrong with her."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with her." I said truthfully. She smiled.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I swung around so fast I could have fallen over.
"Hi..!" I said surprised. "I was expecting to see you come down the stairs." I said awkwardly. She looked so sleepy.
"Sorry I kind of look like a mess. I showered and all my makeup came off." She laughed lightly.
"I still think you look really pretty." I said truthfully. It didn't make much of a difference to me.

She walked over to Kylie and gave her a big hug and they both whispered things in each other's ears.
"Ready?" She asked me.
"Yeah! Very ready." I said excited, and nervous.
"It was good to finally meet you." Kylie said waving bye.
"Yeah you too. Thanks for keeping an eye out on her." I said greatfully.
"I always will." Kylie said closing the door behind us.

It got really cold out and the wind was howling past us.
"Are you okay?" I asked her as we walked slowly back to the jeep.
"I'm better now. A little high I think." She said giggling.
"I'm really sorry. I really thought that this was going to be a nice night out. All I wanted to do was go out with you." I confessed.
"It's alright." She said, and I wondered how many times she's said that to people who have screwed her over.
"We still got a bit of the night left." She said smiling.

I wanted nothing else but to go in and kiss her. The moonlight was shinning and her eyes were glowing and they were all I could see.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" She asked me.
"No. Not at all." I responded.
We got into the jeep and I just kind of looked at her waiting for her to say something. She sucked in hard and the tip of the cigarette burned red and she blew out smoke.
"I don't usually smoke these anymore." She said kind of ashamed. "I just didn't bring my vape and these were around."
"I don't mind."
It was kind of awkward and silent, but I just didn't know what to say.
"Thanks for giving me another chance, again." I said.
She looked over to me and smoke trickled out from her parted lips. She sniffled a bit and shook her head.
"This wasn't your fault love." And my stomach fluttered hearing her call me that.
"I used to get them too." I said referring to the panic attacks. "After my mom died."
"I never used to be like this." She admitted flicking the end of her cigarette out of the window.
"It never used to take so much out of me to get out of bed or to talk to new people but I think, I don't know."
"Grew up to fast?"
And she nodded as if it made enough sense.
"I thought it was getting better you know? Like I met you and Scott and Will and Charlie and like everything seemed like it was going to work out, and I didn't think I needed the help anymore."
I was flattered that she thought I was enough to cure her sadness, but she's not a bad person for the ways she's tried to kill her sadness.
"I just want you to take care of yourself." I said.

She looked over to me and her feet were up on the dash.
"I know. I'm trying." She said.
"Don't cry. You'll make me cry!" I said as a few tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. She exhaled sharply and wiped under her eyes. "Were you disappointed when you got to know me?" She asked.

I scoffed at her in complete disbelief.

"Disappointed? Stassi you were everything in a person and more. You are this insanely smart, and funny, and witty, not to mention the hottest girl ever." And she laughed and seeing her smile made me know I was saying something right. "You cure diseases and you speak like 5 languages and you are the most interesting person I have ever gotten the pleasure to know. You are so kind even though the universe has not been so kind to you. I-I" I kind of was losing my train of thought.

"Stassi you are the exclamation point at the end of the happiest sentence I could ever write. I think the world of you."