Memories || The Chronicles of Narnia

11: He'd do anything for you

"Ed?" Susan whispered gently as she carefully shook her brother. "Ed come on, wake up, you need to eat."

Edmund groaned slightly as he woke, a frown making it's way onto his face, but he still kept his eyes closed. "What time is it?" He grumbled.

Susan sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed, a bowl of soup in her hands. "Just gone midday." She answered. 

Edmund lay there for a moment before forcing his eyes open and hesitantly sitting up against the headboard. "Sorry I slept so late." He whispered, letting out a loud yawn.

"You don't need to apologise Ed." Susan breathed. "It's understandable, you were up a lot last night."

Edmund swallowed hard. "It was horrible." He choked, talking about the nightmare which had caused him to wake screaming in the middle of the night.

"Do - do you wanna talk about it now?" Susan asked softly.

Edmund took a deep breath. "Peter went to get the flower," He whispered. "He forgot everything, including me. He kept telling me that he had no brother, that he's never - never h - had a brother-" He stopped dead, unable to continue.

Susan swallowed hard and looked down at her lap, tears stinging her eyes, but she didn't say anything.

"Where - where is Peter anyway?" Edmund asked slowly after a long while of complete silence.

Susan took a deep breath. "He's down having lunch with Lucy." She lied, at once feeling awful about it, but until Edmund figured it out for himself, she would just have to keep lying.

Edmund stared at her for a moment. "He's not trying to avoid me is he?" He whispered.

Susan frowned and glanced up at him. "Of course not." She said gently. "Why an earth would you think that?"

"It's just, when we had the argument," Edmund mumbled. "I could tell how guilty he was... how guilty I made him feel."

"You didn't make him feel guilty Ed." Susan told him gently but still firmly. "if anything he did that himself."

Edmund sighed. "Well, can you ask him to come up here when he's finished lunch?" He asked.

Susan swallowed hard, looking down again and not saying anything, which caused Edmund to frown. "What?" He choked, sounding so scared it broke Susan's heart. "Where's Peter, Susan?"

Susan took a deep breath. "I told you," She said, sitting up straight and looking her brother straight in the eyes. "He's having lunch with Lucy."

Edmund was silent for a moment, staring back at his sister before shaking his head. "He's not though, is he?" He whispered.

Tears filled Susan's eyes, and she quickly blinked them away, breaking eye contact with her brother.

"Susan, where is he?" Edmund sounded terrified now, his voice shaking and his hands beginning to tremble. "Where is Peter?"

When Susan once again didn't answer, Edmund scanned the room, at once noticing that Peter's sword, nor his cloak were anywhere to be seen, and this caused his heart to skip a beat. He slowly looked back to his older sister, eyes slightly wider than they had been just a moment before. "Please tell me he didn't." He choked.

Susan squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to say anything.

Edmund blinked back tears. "He went to get the flower, didn't he?" He whispered after a moment.

Susan let out a quiet sob, but nodded her head. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. "But he told me not to say anything."

"When - when did he leave?"

Susan sighed. "Last night." She answered quietly.

Edmund was silent, and he didn't even realise the tears rolling down his cheeks as he sat there, and before he knew it he was trembling. "He's gonna forget everything." He choked. "And it'll be all my fault."

"No." Susan said quickly. "No, don't you dare blame yourself Edmund, he made me promise to make sure you didn't."

"You knew he left?!" Edmund sobbed. "You knew and you didn't say anything."

"He told me not to." Susan whispered, shaking her head slightly back a forth. "Ed he's doing this to save your life."

"Well he shouldn't be." Edmund snapped despite his sobs. "My life isn't worth saving."

"Don't you dare say that ever again!" Susan suddenly shouted. "Peter is sacrificing everything for you, the least you can do is be grateful!"

Edmund's face fell at this, and his tears fell quicker... Susan rarely shouted at any of them, and when she did he never liked it, especially now after she'd said something like that.

Susan watched his face fall and instantly regretted her outburst. Sighing a little she placed the bowl of soup on the bedside table before leaning against the headboard and pulling Edmund close to her. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I didn't mean that."

Edmund swallowed hard and rested his head against her shoulder. "I know." He choked, but he still sounded slightly shocked.

"Look." Susan whispered. "Peter is doing this for the same reason you killed yourself to save him. He loves you Ed, more than you'll ever even know, you're his little brother. his only brother. When you two drifted apart before Narnia, it broke him, he hated arguing with you, and always felt so guilty whenever he did. But after the witch, I'd never seen him happier, he had his brother back... we all did, we all missed you Ed, Peter more than probably me and Lucy put together. He'd kill me for telling you this, but the first night you were with Jadis, he practically cried himself to sleep."

Edmund swallowed hard before taking a deep breath, feeling more tears making their way down his cheeks, but he couldn't stop them, and if he was honest, he didn't think he wanted to.

"You see Ed, he loves you so, so much, more than he'll let on to anyone, he'd do anything for you." Susan whispered into her brothers ear. "That is why he's doing this, to save your life just as you saved him, he wants to keep you alive Ed, even if that means loosing you again in a completely different way."

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