Memories || The Chronicles of Narnia

29: I can't do it

"King Edmund?"

Edmund glanced up from where he had been sat at one of the desks in the library, working on something to keep his mind off of everything that had been happening recently. Susan was with him, and now Orious had entered the room, glancing warily at Edmund.

"Yes?" Edmund questioned, placing his pencil down and turning a little to face the centaur, a small frown on his face.

"I - I've come to discuss something with you." Orious replied, taking a step or two forward.

Edmund's frown got deeper, and even Susan looked up from her book. "What is it?" Edmund asked.

Orious was quiet for a moment before he took a deep breath. "Well, seeming as your brother has well- well forgotten everything, he - he can't exactly rule as High King anymore." He said hesitantly. "And I just wanted to let you know that... that responsibility now lies with you."

Edmund's heart skipped a beat. "What?" He practically whispered, sounding shocked.

Orious sighed a little. "You must act as High King." He said slowly.

Edmund sat there for a very long time, in which Susan stood and walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Ed?" She asked hesitantly, sounding slightly scared.

Edmund swallowed hard. "I - I can't do  that." He choked, shaking his head slightly.

Susan sighed and glanced up at Orious. "Can you give us a minute?" She asked.

Orious nodded and bowed his head, before leaving the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

"Ed?" Susan mumbled, walking around to stand in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"I - I can't Susan!" Edmund choked. "Peter is the High King. Not me, Peter."

Susan sighed sadly. "Just step in until he gets his memories back." She said hesitantly.

Edmund just stared at her for a long while before sighing. "You know that probably won't happen." He practically whispered.

"It - it might Ed." Susan said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder again. "You never know."

Edmund swallowed hard. "I still can't do it." He muttered. "I can't just replace my own brother!"

"You aren't replacing him Ed." Susan told him calmly. "You'll just be helping him out, taking care of Narnia whilst he can't."

"He could though." Edmund said suddenly. "We could just crown him again, he's forgotten he's a king so let's make him remember."

"I don't think that'll work Ed." Susan said. "Please, just until he remembers again."

But Edmund shook his head firmly. "I won't." He choked. "I won't replace him. I doubt he's getting his memories back any time soon, if ever. So I would just be replacing him, and I won't do it, I can't do it. Peter is the High King, and only he deserves that title, not me, him. I won't do it Susan, you can't make me."

Susan sighed a little, before hesitantly nodding her head. "I'll have a word with Orious later." She breathed.

Edmund swallowed hard. "I - I'm sorry." He whispered. "But I just wouldn't be able to."

"I understand Ed." Susan told him quietly. "We'll figure something out."

Edmund gave her a gentle smile followed by a nod. "Thanks." He mumbled, looking extremely grateful.

Susan smiled back. "Come on." She breathed out after a while. "You've been in here all morning, you need to eat."

"I'm actually not that hungry." Edmund choked out suddenly.

Susan gave him an unimpressed frown. "Ed, you're skin and bones!" She exclaimed. "You hardly ate anything during the illness, you lost a lot of weight. You need to eat as much as you can."

Edmund hesitated a little and looked down at the ground.

Susan frowned at him before she seemed to catch on. "You can't just avoid Peter." She murmered.

Edmund took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can do it anymore Su." He whispered. "You - you know, yesterday, he called me your majesty and bowed to me!"

Susan sighed sadly. "He knows you're a king then." She sighed.

Edmund nodded. "But he bowed to me." He choked out. "I - I don't want him to do that again. If anything it should be the other way around."

Susan bit her lip gently before talking. "He won't do it again if we tell him not to." She reassured him.

Edmund sighed. "I went into his room last night." He explained. "I didnt wake him, but I just - I dunno why, but I just wanted to see him without him talking to me like I'm a stranger."

Susan gave him a sad smile. "I know Ed." She breathed. "But I don't know if going into his room in the middle of the night is a good idea, what if he wakes up?"

Edmund swallowed hard. "I-" He choked, but didn't know what to say.

Susan sighed and knelt in front of him, pulling him forward and into a hug. "Listen to me." She whispered in his ear, feeling him wrap his arms around her neck. "You can get through this Ed, I know it's hard, but I know you can. Just make friends with Peter and the two of you will be as fine as you can get, one day you might even be close enough for him to treat you like a little brother, but until then I know you can be strong."

Edmund sniffed quietly and buried his face against Susan's shoulder. "But I am his little brother." He whispered.

"I know, I know." Susan murmered, reaching up to stroke his hair. "But he doesn't. Just be strong Ed, be strong and I know you can get through this... trust me."

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