Faceless Instincts

PROLOGUE

Everything was in chaos, we could smell blood and among everything, I wasn't sure if it was my fault.

Silenced wrapped everything and the only sound that could be heard was a monotonous tap. I wasn't sure if it was in my head or coming from the distant digging.

I watched the dark blood slowly travelled along the edge of the knife, when it finally reached the tip I gave the knife a faint jerk, dripping the blood and staining the fresh white snow.

I stared at my hands in incredulity; fingernails were broken and were turning blue, the skin was ripped and bloodied while clothes were covered in soil and partial blood.

An abrupt sound of something crushing the snow near me grabbed my attention, I saw a figure walking towards me through the thick of mist. Everything was still inky blue and dark. We both were near a frozen lake in the middle of snow-covered woods, trying to find and hide the horrors of the past. While trying to deal with some of them.

"Kiara," he said in a voice that indicated his frustration, what he was required to do was nothing short of heart-wrenching, he wanted to call my name loudly but couldn't let others hear it.

I craned my neck to look at him, he was covered in soil and sweat. Standing up I slipped the blood-covered knife and it crashed on the snow. We had done a horrible deed. A sin that was enough to send us tumbling down to the feet of the devil himself. Something that has paved our path towards hell, creating a grave without a single prayer was not fine but we had to.

"Did you do it?" I asked in a monotonous voice and he nodded.

"It's not very far." he said as he cleaned his hands on his jeans, "It's on the edge of the lake; traceable if you memorize the spot. Although it was a deep dig."

I glanced up at him, I couldn't wrap my mind around our action, moreover, it was becoming difficult for me to conclude if our motive was worthy enough of our deeds, "What's wrong with you?" he hissed through his teeth.

"I don't know if we should have done it," I whispered.

He looked back at the place where he had come from, "you can not possibly be thinking about anything else rather than finishing this up" he glanced down at the knife."You know this was important. We had to do this for us, for our benefit, for her" he paused, "we need each other the most right now Kiara" his voice was ever so gentle.

"I..she was your-" my voice got caught in my throat. I knew bringing it up into the conversation would only piss him off but I couldn't stand to see him hate her after they both longed for it.

"I know who she was." He growled, "What she meant to me and the relationship I had shared with her." He clenched his jaw visibly, "also, If this is any reminder then you should consider that it is much harder for me than it is for you" he grabbed me from my arms, "I didn't want to do this, but we had no choice and you should remember that."

I looked up at him - looked at his silhouette - faint imagery, his eyes were red and swollen, he claimed it was from all the drinking while I believed it was from crying all night long, "how can you be so..." I paused for words, "so ruthless"

He gave my body a sharp jerk and I stumbled back a little, "ruthless" he stabbed me on the corner of my chest and I stumbled further back, "I am ruthless?"

A jab again and I almost fell on the ground but he grabbed me with my wrists and pulled me closer to him, I could smell his cologne mix up with the smell of soil and partially by blood.

His breathing was jagged as he whispered in my ear "Do you even have the faintest of idea how tough it is to do what I have done?" He pulled me closer, wrapping an arm tightly around my waist; crushing me "if this is affecting you so much then just let two of your brain cells make a spark and think how much harder it is for me, and above that, think that what I have done right now, I did it partially for you and not solely for myself" the aggression in his voice numbed me but I knew I had to hide it if I wanted to survive with him.