Faceless Instincts

Dorian's Gone

I was still swivelling from the letter, unable to decipher it with accuracy. Although on the other side, reading it again and again, gave me butterflies. I couldn't imagine him thinking about me, but the thought alone made me want to go look for him. I wanted to know more, I wanted to help him even more.

I held the letter a secret, but long before I could think about my next step I remembered seeing a man at Wembley's office, what if it was indeed Dorian?. Did Wembley know Dorian was going to leave?" What if Wembley didn't tell me on purpose? A wave of anger surged through me, what if Dorian faces something terrible that he cannot spiral out of? His marks and bruises flashed in my mind, 'I can't leave him alone'.

I got out of bed and called Mr Wembley. He picked up after a few rings and sounded weary, "hello?" He said.

"Did you know Dorian was going to leave?"

I asked without expending another second.
"Sorry?"

"You heard me"

"I don't know what you are talking about, Kiara."

"Dorian" I paused to collect myself, "he had left a letter for me in which he says he is leaving"

"What?" He sounded surprised, "Dorian left a letter for you?"

"Yes, he did." I looked down at the letter, "and I just want to know if you had any idea that he was going to leave?"

This time when he spoke, his voice was heavy and obstructed, "can I see that letter?" He asked.

"Why?" I was getting anxious, "Mr Wembley, I respect you, but right now I need to find him, and I want to know if you knew or know anything about it?"

"Kiara, I ascertain you I had no idea what he was going to do. The last time I saw him."
His words cracked, and he took a long pause, "the last time I saw him, he was just here to tell me that he wanted to clear the air between us, he never wanted his actions to hurt me or you."

My voice got hooked in my throat, "so you don't know anything about this?"

"No." He wavered, "but can I please see the letter?" He paused again, "maybe I can figure out something?"

The offer was intriguing, so I agreed, "okay, I will be there soon."

I was on my way to Wembley's office, reading the letter 10th time, realising how bittersweet it was. While it made me scared for Dorian, it also raised hope. I didn't know why it was happening to me of all people, but I did know that I wanted to take this challenge head-on. I was aware that even if couldn't save him, I will save his peace.

As I knocked on Wembley's door I heard some other voices inside. I found Olivia and Tanner sitting near the fireplace. "What are they doing here?" I asked.

"They?" Olivia stood up, "we are 'they' now?"

I actively ignored her, as I walked inside the room and started procuring the letter, "I just thought I will be here alone."

"We are here to help"

"Which I don't think I asked for"

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Because you haven't been acting like yourself lately, Olivia." I just snapped. The pressure was too much and I just...Snapped.

"What do you mean?" Tanner asked.

"What do I mean?" I turned towards him, forgetting all the pain it caused me physically, "ever since you have found out about Dorian, you all have been so secretive and unnatural. You don't feel like my friends anymore. Instead of asking me if things with me are fine, you keep fuelling your history with Dorian." I looked at Olivia, "and even if that wasn't enough you just won't tell me what this is all about." I sat down with a huff, "do you even realise how confusing it is?" My vision was growing blurry, and my voice louder "it's just getting too loud inside my brain, I can not understand if I should trust myself or you people. Because believe it or not I want to do both but you have just made it worse and now I have to pick a tough side"

Mr Wembley kneeled in front of me and kept his palms on my knees, "I am sorry we put you through this"

"I don't even know if I can trust them now, after knowing that they have been spying on me."

Mr Wembley's head turned faster than a bullet, "what?" He asked looking at them, "you were doing what?" He asked again.

"We... We just thought we could.." Tanner wasn't able to answer.

Mr Wembley sat down next to me, not speaking. After what seemed like long, "I just want to help him" I said, almost crying, "you haven't seen him up and close" I looked at Mr Wembley, "he is in so much pain"

"What kind of pain?"

"He has these marks around his neck and bruises, it's just too unbearable to watch him go on like this."

I saw Olivia grimace, "he needs me," I said.
"He does" Tanner added.

I looked up at him, "I know, I just want to know what happened to him and I am scared I will lose him if I didn't find him, and then I'll just have to live with the thought of him." my own words caused me pain, "I don't want to spend my whole life without the knowledge of what happened to Dorian Ashford".

Mr Wembley embraced me from the side and after a few minutes, he asked me to show him the letter.

I gave him the letter and everyone bowed on the table, to look at it while I sat near the fireplace. I noticed every one of them, Olivia was nervous, Tanner; angry and Mr Wembley looked aghast. They all watched each other in despair, as if not believing what they had read.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Who gave you this?" Tanner asked, and Mr Wembley took the letter to his corner table.

"Amy, why?" I peeked to look at what Mr Wembley was doing. He had drawn an old binder and was flipping through pages.

"What are you doing?" I asked and walked around to see him. What I found was odd.
He was matching the handwriting of the letter to a laminated form.

"This is Dorian's?" I asked.

"Yes," he looked up.

"Why is this laminated?"

"I laminate any and every record of important patients. In case I need them in future."

"And?" Tanner said coming closer.

"It's his handwriting" I looked at them and they seemed confused, "this is indeed Dorian's letter for Kiara." His eyes swept towards me, "letting him know that he is leaving"

They looked at me, their faces anguished and I might have noticed a little shiver on Mr Wembley's lips.

"What happened to you?" I asked
None of them spoke anything.

Finally, Mr Wembley took out his glasses and walked around the table, "I think it's time you let go of him."

"What do you mean?" I asked as I glanced at Tanner and Olivia having a part in a heated look.

"I think he has gone, he had made his choice, took his decision, and it's tough to find him." He paused, "after all we don't know enough about him. Who knows where he could have gone."

I looked at him in scepticism, "are you telling me to give up on him?"

He nodded, "there is nothing you can do now. Remember, you can not help a person who doesn't want to be helped"

I stepped away from a little, "that's where you are wrong, I will find him and I will help him."

My mind was hustling, he was right, I didn't know about him. He'll, I didn't even have an idea about where I should start, but giving up was not on my to-do list today, I glanced back at the open binder and Dorian's information was inked on the paper.

I slowly stepped back and took a hold of it, and with as much strength I could muster I ripped off the paper from the binder and With that, I walked towards the table and snagged the letter from it. Olivia tried to stop me but I was past it already, I didn't need help, I knew I had to do it alone.

As I left the room I heard them talking but didn't try to listen, I kept on walking. I called a cab and got into it, glancing down the form in my hands. I now had enough information about Dorian to know where I needed to begin.