Faceless Instincts

Leaving Home

"I don't think you should go alone." Tanner was pacing the room and Olivia was staring at him.

"Don't be such a baby," I said as I walked downstairs buttoning up my coat

"Why do you want to go anyway?" He said growing irritated.

"Well, for one to see if you are telling the truth." I looked at him through the lashes, "and then to find out what went wrong."

"This is absurd, why can't you just believe us?"

"Because I don't know how to Tanner Woods, I don't have my memories, I have nothing that makes me feel safe about all of this."

"What?" He snapped, "We are here to support you and I know it's tough but this is getting extreme."

"Calm down." Olivia looked at him.

"I know I am overreacting but seeing those reports and realising what might have happened, it's just putting me a little off-guard. I know you care and whatever you were doing was for my good." I said as I walked down the stairs.

"Yeah, she is going somewhere she's never been for someone who didn't think once about her before quitting his life and You want me to calm the fuck down?"

I watched him carefully, his words were sinking in and he was right, even if everything they are saying is true then yes maybe Dorian didn't think about me even for once or waited to talk to me for the last time.

Tanner's face turned red with anger and fists clenched to prevent a further upheaval, showed me how much he cared, but despite that such outbursts from each of them were extreme. They were the most composed people I have known, they know how to deal with extreme adversities while keeping a poker face, "don't worry, I will be fine, I promise."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration then took a deep breath, "fine" he stepped towards me, his eyes were ablaze, "three days, Kiara" he stepped a little closer, "if in three days you fail to find anything, I will come there."

I looked at him in disbelief but I had no choice but to agree, "okay" I hugged him, "If I fail, you can come"

He wrapped me tightly in his arms and then stepped back, "come on" he took my bags, "let's take you to the station."

Within thirty minutes we were at the station, walking towards my coach "you kept everything?" Olivia asked for the hundredth time.

"Yes," I said as I turned to see Tanner buying some drinks for me. "You think he will ever get his temper right for me?"

"He is just worried, like all of us." She said and turned to look at him as well, "he is just more sensitive to the idea that you might end up hurting yourself" she looked at me, "have you forgotten about that Richie incident from college?"

I laughed out loud at the memory, "poor Richie, paid a lot for breaking my heart that he didn't even know he was breaking."

Olivia snorted while laughing, "he didn't even know you had a crush on him."

"Tanner imperilled him way too harshly, Richie invited everybody to his wedding except me" I chuckled, as I stepped on the train. Tanner came running and handed me everything, "here," he said as he helped me settle in my bags.

"I'll be fine Tanner," I reassured him

"I know, I just think you should let me come with you that's it."

I heaved a sig and Olivia placed a hand on his shoulder, "she'll be fine"

He shook his head and sidestepped, "if you think so" his tone was so snarky that Olivia slapped him on his back.

Before I could say much, my phone chimed and Nikolai's name flashed on the screen.
"Hey," I said as I picked up.

"Umm...hey" he replied, "how are you?"

"I am good how are you?"

"Okay," he paused,

"Nikolai?"

"Yeah..?"

"Is everything okay?"

"yeah...  yeah my friend is working on the trinket but it might take some days, by the way, where are you?" His question was out of the blue, he had never talked to me like this.

"I..." I looked at my friends, "I am at home"

"Really?" Doubt dripped from his single word.

"Yeah... Why?"

"Nothing I was just hearing voices behind you, so I asked. I mean, I know you'll be careful with everything going on right now"

I faked a laugh, "absolutely, and I am here with Tanner and Olivia" I explained.

"Ah. I see. okay" something changed in his voice, the suspicion was gone."

"Do you want to talk to them?"

"Nah. I trust you, Kiara"

By that time Tanner had already snatched the phone and started talking to Nikolai, I was begging him to not tell him anything. While he kept his word, I could see how much he just wanted to dish the truth.

When it was finally time for the train to leave,  Tanner and Olivia stood at the station and I watched them through the glass, Tanner wore a pure expression of disappointment, while Olivia had 'concerned' written all over her face.
I waved them goodbye as the train slowly started. I felt a dipping feeling in my gut and all of a sudden everything started to feel awry, every choice seemed like the wrong one.

I didn't want to go alone now and I repented not letting Tanner come along. As their faces grew distant and the train picked up speed, I stood up and closed the door of my compartment. I slumped back in my seat and left a high sigh. A discomfort settled in my chest as I tried to calm my nerves but nothing worked.

I looked out of the window, everything was passing in a blur and I felt it inside of me. I was leaving my long know home behind for a place I have never been to for a person I barely knew. As it sunk further and further in me, I dreaded everything that was about to happen.

I knew I was leaving the lights behind and stepping into the darkness, but what scared me the most was the idea of what I might find and then face in the dark. I thought my life changed when Dorian first appeared in my office, but now was the moment when I was realising how my life was about to turn upside down.