See Me

2

I stared blankly at my own reflection. The mirror in my closet was tall enough that I could see myself completely. I'm not sure if I like what's staring back at me.  I look good, I know that. I just look empty. I look lifeless.

The dress on my body is just like the majority of dresses I own. Short, but not short enough to flash anyone. Low cut, but again, not low cut enough to flash anyone. It was a pale blue sundress, the soft fabric flowing over my curves. My long, black hair was draped in soft curls, wrapping around my bust and ending at my waist. My focus, however, was on the dark circles under my eyes. They were getting worse, and I was surprised that no one had mentioned them.

It's not that there's anything in particular keeping me up, there's not. I have plenty of time to sleep. I just never want to. I spend my nights watching mindless, trashy television until well after midnight. I just loved the time I had to myself at night. When it was quiet, peaceful, and most of all, there was no one texting me or calling me.

I quickly dabbed some concealer under my eyes. It didn't cover the dark circles completely, but I looked less like a zombie. I grabbed my already packed duffel bag and headed down the stairs, knowing that the group would be here any minute to pick me up. Was I excited to be spending the weekend at Carter's lake house? Not particularly. Was I excited to drink? Yes.

I darted into the kitchen, crouching in front of my Dad's liquor cabinet. My fingers grazed the dozens of bottles, but I was looking for one in particular. Vodka. I found an unopened bottle in the back, grabbing it and shoving it into my bag. There would be plenty of alcohol there, but I wanted one just for me. Just in case.

"You know, most fathers would be alarmed at the sight of their teenager raiding their liquor cabinet." I heard my Dad say from behind me. I rose to my feet and turned to look at him. I'm surprised he even noticed me.

"But not you, right?" I kept my voice as sweet as possible, even forcing a small smile.

"That's right. I trust you. Just no driving, right? And responsible drinking, please." My dad raised his eyebrow as he said it, as if he was doubting it himself.

"No driving." I confirmed, not touching the rest.

"Okay, sweetheart. Have fun. Tell Olivia and Trinity I said hi." He said as he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing his keys off the wall. No doubt he was heading back to the office.

My mom died when I was three, car accident. I barely remember her. Which left my dad to raise me, and he clearly had no idea what the fuck he was doing, so he mainly left me to my own devices. He spent the majority of his time at work, not bothering with me. It's not like he knew anything alarming was going on. I'm sure if he was aware of what I spent my free time doing, he would have something to say about it. Maybe. I'd like to think so, anyways. He likes to tell me that he knew I was out drinking and partying, so instead of forcing me to be sneaky about it, as most teenagers are, he would rather be informed.

He wasn't, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

I heard the honk of a car horn from outside, so I quickly walked out the door, making sure to lock it behind me. Zane's SUV was waiting in the driveway. I placed my bag in the trunk, throwing it over the ones that were already placed in there. I opened the back door, knowing I wouldn't be blessed enough to sit in the passenger seat.

Zane was in the driver's seat, staring over the steering wheel. He didn't even look at me. Cain was next to him, seemingly in charge of the music as his phone was plugged into the stereo system. I glanced around the remaining seats. Noah, Carter and Trinity were in the back row, Olivia was perched happily in Noah's lap. Tyler, Benji and Jax were in the front row, looking at me with shit eating grins on their faces. One minute in, and I already wanted to roll my eyes.

"Seren, babe! You look amazing." Olivia greeted me in her obviously, to me anyways, fake voice. She giggled as Noah kissed her neck.

"Thanks. Short on seats?" I grumbled out, noticing quickly that there were none available.

"Disadvantage of being picked up last." Benji winked at me. "We flipped coins to see who's lap you're sitting on."

"Flipped coins?" I asked him, feeling my eyebrow arch up in suspicion. "Hold that thought." I said as I briskly walked back towards the trunk, opening it and pulling the bottle of vodka from my bag. I twisted the cap, hearing the seal break. I fucking love that sound.

I held my nose as I took a couple of gulps from the bottle, trying to ignore the taste as it went down. I don't know if holding your nose actually helps, but someone told me that at my first party and I've done it ever since. I needed something to tolerate sitting on one of the guys laps for the two hour drive.

"Alright, where am I sitting?" I asked after tucking the bottle back in my bag and returning to the open car door.

"Jax, the lucky bastard." Benji muttered, shooting a glare in Jax's direction. I mentally sighed a breath of relief that it wasn't Benji's lap I had to sit on. Jax was probably the best choice, anyways. He was nice to me. He kept his hands to himself. Mostly.

I crouched my head as I stepped into the car, climbing over Benji and Tyler and plopping down on Jax's lap. I gave him a small smile as I pulled the seatbelt over the both of us, and then shifting so I was sitting sideways, leaning against the window. Zane quickly started driving away, Cain cranking the music back up.

"Sorry, Seren. I would have given you my seat but none of the guys would agree to let me sit on them." Jax joked with me.

"Really? I would have thought Benji would be more than willing to accommodate." I joked back, thanking the alcohol for making me a tad less grumpy.

"My lap is available for you any day of the week, Seren, but I draw the line at Jax." Benji said, reaching over Tyler and punching Jax in the arm.

"That's not what you said last weekend, man." Cain chipped in from the front, causing me to giggle.

"I'm glad you're enjoying my misery, Seren." Jax grumbled, shooting a glare in Cain's direction. The car jolted to the side, causing my body to fly into Jax, who's arm wrapped around my waist in an attempt to steady me.

"Shit. Sorry guys." Zane mumbled out from the driver's seat.

"Misery?" I cocked my head as I looked back at Jax in questioning.

"Yeah. It's torture to have a hot girl sitting in your lap for hours at a time." Jax chuckled, tightening his hands that were still gripped around my waist.

"Of course, I should have known. I'm sure Benji will be happy to take the torture off your hands." I pretended to turn my head to Benji, but Jax cut me off.

"I'm sure I'll survive." He said smoothly, shooting me a quick wink.