See Me

50

AN: this is a triple update, so please make sure you've read chapters 48 and 49 first.

"Don't." Jax ordered me as I tried to rise to my feet.

I stilled my movements, hesitantly looking up at him instead. The hurt that I had seen in his eyes was still there, only now it was only amplified. I fought the rising panic, I knew it would do me no good.

"When you weren't at homecoming, I assumed it was because I didn't ask you. I didn't think it was because you were at home, trying to swallow a bottle of pills instead." Jax raised his hands to his head, running them through his already messy hair. "You would do that to me? Seren, answer me. You would really do that to me? You would leave me?"

My mind was running around in circles. It was lagging, like a video that wasn't getting enough internet power. It was a step behind what was happening. It was about to end, wasn't it? I had it all planned. Yet, as always, Jax ruined my plans. All of them.

I had two options.

Well, I had two options that I could think of. I could fight. I could fight the way I should have at the lake house. I could kick and scream and thrash and bite. But there was no hope. There was no one here to save me. Jax would win, like he had before. He could overpower me. He's already proven that.

"I'm sorry." I went with option two, my voice only a whisper. "I didn't mean to."

Jax cocked his head at me in surprise. He wasn't expecting those words, I guess. "You didn't mean to? What did you mean to do then, baby?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking." I gritted the words out, in spite of my disgust at his use of the pet name.

Jax sighed, and then he moved closer to me. I could smell the wafts of whiskey coming from his breath. I used every ounce of willpower in my body not to move away. He crouched down, directly in front of me, one of his arms resting on his knees and the other one outreached, moving towards me.

I closed my eyes as his hand grabbed my face. I expected it to be rough, I expected it to hurt. But it didn't, his fingers were gentle as they gripped around my chin.

"Do you know what that would have done to me, Seren? If anything was to happen to you. It would have destroyed me." He whispered to me. "Open your eyes."

I didn't want to. I couldn't. I couldn't see his face so close to mine.

Jax's fingers applied pressure to my skin. "Open your eyes."

I opened them. I could see him up close now. I could see the bruising that was covering the right side of his face, the purple that was encircling his eye. Courtesy of Zane's fist, no doubt. I had avoided looking at Jax for so long, only seeing his face clearly when it entered my mind against my will. It seemed my mind had made its own details up, because Jax looked way scarier than I remembered.

"Don't ever try that again." Jax said lowly. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." I said quickly. It was a lie, but it didn't matter. I would tell Jax anything he needed to hear right now. It was my only chance to get away from him.

"Good." Jax smiled at me. How can someone smile, yet still look so evil? "Now, baby girl. We need to talk."

"Okay. Okay. Let's talk." I rushed out. Another tear left my eye, free falling straight onto the bathroom floor below me.

"Baby, you don't need to cry. You know I can never stay mad at you. You know that right?" Jax's eyes softened as he stroked my cheek with his rough thumb.

"I know." I wonder if Jax could hear the shake in my voice.

"But... you did make me mad." Jax moved both of his hands to my hair, gently stroking it before moving it behind my shoulders. He was looking at me the way a little girl would look at her doll. "We need to talk about what happened with you and Zane."