See Me

38

Sometimes the way Zane looked at me scared me.

Not in the same way that I felt scared when Jax looked at me. Or that kid, Brandon.

It scared me in a completely different sense. Zane looked at me like he could really see me. And I was all he could see. It's how he's looking at me right now.

"You've always had me, Seren." Zane finally said after moment. "You just didn't know it."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, unsure what he was saying.

"From the moment you looked at me, I swear it. I've been here. Maybe I was just waiting for you to see me, too." Zane said as he brought his hand up to my face, and he gently stroked my cheekbone. "Which is why you can believe the things that I'm saying to you right now. I'll be here for you, no matter what. No matter what you decide to do. You can trust me."

"I know I can." I muttered but I wasn't thinking about the words I was saying. I was lost in his eyes. They were so beautiful. I had never noticed. They were like a warm blanket, soft and comforting.

"Why can't we tell anyone?" Zane asked me again.

"It won't matter. No one will believe me. I'm surprised you did." I explained. It's true after all. No one ever believes the poor girl who cries rape.

Zane's eyebrows furrowed, like he didn't understand my words. "Why do you think that?"

"No one ever believes the girl. I don't know, maybe if it had gone to the police that night, it would be a different story." I shrugged as I spoke.

"We can go now. It's not too late, Seren." Zane urged as he squeezed my shoulder.

"It is." I told him. "You wouldn't understand. You're not a girl. You've never had to question if people will believe you about things like this."

"But..."

"99.4 percent of rapists never see a day in jail." I cut him off. "99.4. That's almost all of them."

I had spent one of many sleepless nights on the internet, researching this thoroughly. Out of the 31 percent of rapes that are reported to the police, 1 percent are referred to a prosecutor. 0.7 are convicted of felonies. 0.6 percent are incarcerated.

Zane looked alarmed at my words, and for a second I wondered what it would be like to live as a male, to be surprised at a statistic like that.

"You can't deal with this alone. You need to talk to someone about it." Zane said in a whisper, like he knew his words would upset me. "It's not healthy."

"I'm done with this conversation. I'm not telling anyone, Zane, and you can't change my mind." I tried to turn away but he gently grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

"I could do it, Seren. If you need me to." Zane said.

I whipped my head towards him in shock. "What?"

"I can tell someone for you." Zane explained.

"I thought you said I could trust you." He had just said that, hadn't he? Zane said I could trust him, and now he wants to tell people?

"What?" Zane's eyes opened wide. "Of course you can."

"So if I can trust you, it means you won't tell anyone." I snapped.

Zane took a deep breath, his eyes returning to the sympathetic state that had been in most of the night. "We can't deal with this just the two of us, Seren."