See Me

Bonus Chapter 14

Chapter 21 from Serens POV

I was watching the way the clouds were gently floating past the tops of the city buildings, but my mind was otherwise occupied. It was occupied with thoughts of someone my mind has never been occupied with before.

I was thinking about the way Zane had made me feel earlier, when he complimented me. I was thinking about why he brought me here, and I was thinking about the way he knew that I needed to be anywhere expect the cafeteria with Jax. I was thinking about his eyes that hadn't run down my body, not once today. It might seem like an odd thing to think about, but it was peculiar to me.

I wasn't used to being treated like anything other than what I already knew I was, a worthless trophy. I looked over to Zane, finding like always, he was already looking at me. I wondered why, and I wondered what thoughts were running through his mind.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" I asked Zane, and I wasn't even sure where the words had come from.

I wondered if he was even attracted to me at all.

Zane's eyes widened at my words, before he sharply looked away, just for a second, before he looked to me again.

"Of course you're pretty," he told me, but his voice was wary, as if he thought I was trying to trick him with my question.

"I didn't ask if I'm pretty," I explained, "I asked if you think I'm pretty."

There was a huge difference, didn't he see that?

"I think you're pretty, Seren," Zane said, and his voice was back to the soft tone he's been using around me lately.

I nodded my head, looking back out towards the water for a moment before I flicked back my eyes towards him. I remembered speaking with Carter, the hope that swelled inside me when I asked what he liked about me. He wasn't able to answer with what I wanted to hear, he told me the same thing I've always known. But...

Maybe Zane was different.

"What do you find pretty about me?" I asked this time, my eyes staring directly back at his.

I watched Zane as his eyebrows furrowed, like he was both surprised and concerned at what I was asking him. He didn't answer, and the longer that he didn't answer, the more sure I was that I already had my answer.

Zane wasn't different.

"The way you listen to people when they're speaking to you, even if you're not interested. You don't just pretend to hear them, you actually do," Zane's words shocked me, I felt them in my gut.

"The way you never look at other girls as competition. You never put them down just to make yourself feel better, the way you used to smile when someone else smiles, the way you dance when you're drunk, like you don't care who sees you or what they think," Zane continued, and each of his words made my heart thump a bit faster.

Zane smiled at me, and I was lost in the beauty of it.

"I think all of those things make you prettier than you already are on the outside," he continued, picking up a rock from the ground and tossing it into the water below us.

I was stunned into silence, unaware that he had even noticed any of those things about me. I wasn't even aware that I did any of the things he had told me.

And, then I thought of Carter's words once more.

"Do you think I'm a tease?" I asked him, and I wish I didn't. I didn't want him to see that someone else's words had gotten to me.

Zane's head snapped back to my direction. "What?"

"A tease." I clarified. "Do you think I lead people on?"

"I've never seen you lead someone on," Zane said, and he must be lying. He has to be lying, right? I did lead people on. That's why this was all happening, wasn't it?

"Not even with Carter?" I asked him.

"What happened with you and Carter?" Zane asked, as he looked at me the way he sometimes does, looking for the truth in my lies.

"I kissed him on the weekend, and then he told me he had feelings for me. I knew I didn't have those feelings for him, but I stayed with him all night anyways," I explained, and I regretted my actions completely.

My actions are what's causing my consequences.

"Just because you made a mistake doesn't make you a tease. If a guy did that, no one would even blink. Why would you think that?" Zane asked, and yet again, I was surprised.

Most boys would not paint other boys with a negative brush.

I leaned my head on my shoulder, dropping my eyes down to the ground. "He told me."

"Carter told you? He told you that you were a tease?" Zane sounded like he was angry, and I wasn't sure why.

"Do you think I've done that before?" I asked him, but I regretted saying the words almost instantly. That question was too close to what happened. I didn't want to leave Zane any clues, my thoughts were too loud for only me to hear.

"What do you mean?" Zane asked me.

"You know, made someone think I liked them?" I asked him, my voice growing small as I remembered Jax's words to me.

"You know I can help you more if you tell me what's going on." Zane climbed up off the ground and walked over to where I was sitting. He made me nervous as he grew close to me, for more reasons then one. Zane lowered his body so he was sitting right in front of me now, and I looked up towards him, seeing the concern I had grown used to in his eyes.

"Who do you think you lead on?" he asked me, and for a second, I almost wished I could tell him.

But, of course, I knew I never could.

"Just in general," I lied.

Zane let out a sigh at my words, he was likely tired of my riddles. "I don't think you've lead anyone on. I think sometimes if someone has feelings for another person, that they can read into their actions and make it more than it is. But that doesn't make it your responsibility."

Zane's thoughts were foreign to me. I wasn't expecting them. I've heard from guys almost the complete opposite. I've heard them from Carter today, I've heard them from Jax, and I've heard them for many boys before.

Maybe, Zane really was different.

Maybe, Zane was someone I could trust.

Maybe.

"Zane?" I spoke his name.

"Hm?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I asked him, simply because I had the realization that whoever he would be a boyfriend to, he'd probably be a great one.

"No, I don't," he told me, and I was shocked to hear it. He could be able to get any girl he wanted, I was sure of it.

"Why?" He asked me, his eyes narrowed again.

"I was just thinking," I picked up a leaf from the ground beside me, tearing it apart with my fingers. "She'd be really lucky."

And for just a second, I was jealous of whoever will become that girl.