See Me

10

Carter led me back down the dock, with his hand on the small of my back. The urge to shrug it off was strong, but one look at Jax's face as we walked by him encouraged me to tough out. I was painfully aware of the small contact though, it was on the forefront of my mind.

Once we reached the end of the dock, Carter gestured for me to take a seat, which I did. I was momentarily taken back to just last night, where I had been seating here alone. It seemed like weeks ago, not less than 24 hours. No one thought to even come look for me, no one wondered where I went. Should that surprise me? It didn't.

Well, except Zane. He was there, for some reason. I didn't really care to know what reason. He probably didn't want to explain to the cops why he had let a drunk girl go swimming by herself if I had drowned.

Carter smiled as he sat beside me, his torso turned so that he was facing me. I knew I should do the same, so that I appeared interested in what he was about to say, but I wasn't. So I didn't. I kept my body facing straight, my gaze fixated on the water which was still rocking in gentle waves from the boat.

"So, Seren." Carter started, his hands were fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. I wonder what he was so nervous about. What could possibly matter right now?

I turned my head to face him, finding him already staring at me, biting down on his bottom lip.

"Usually I can tell where I stand with a girl, but you're hard to read." He gave me a nervous chuckle. "I never know what you're feeling."

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I refrained. "Okay."

Carter's eyebrows furrowed together, before he laughed again. "Just like that."

I gave him a flat smile.

"Anyways, I think you know that I've been interested in you for a long time. Since I first met you, actually. Do you remember it?"

I had no fucking idea. "Not really."

He nodded like he wasn't surprised. "We were at a party freshmen year. The first big party, at Brad Johnson's. You were in the kitchen with Olivia and Trinity, and I was on a mission to get a glimpse of the girl that the whole football team had been talking about all night." He paused, like he was waiting for me to suddenly remember. When I said nothing, he continued. "When I finally made it into the kitchen, you were taking shots. I stood there for a bit, just watching you. I was too scared to say anything, but you turned around and pushed a shot glass into my hand and demanded I drink it."

Sounds like something I would do. "That was a long time ago." I finally added, because what else was I supposed to say?

"Yeah." He smiled at me. "When you kissed me back last night, honestly I couldn't believe it. I didn't think it would ever happen. You've never seemed interested in me."

Probably because I wasn't.

"Listen, I really like you, Seren, but I have no clue how you're feeling. Maybe if you're into it too, we can hang out more." He finished awkwardly, rubbing his chin. His eyes were focused on his lap, but they kept flickering up to my face, like he was nervous for my reaction.

Surprisingly, a small beacon of hope flared in my stomach. Could Carter actually like me? As a person?

"What do you like about me?" I asked him, hoping for the best.

He seemed perplexed by my question. "I mean, look at you, who wouldn't like you?"

Right. I forgot, I was simply a shell of beauty after all. Empty, and worthless, but shiny on the outside. I guess that's all that mattered.

"Seren."

I don't know how I thought Zane's voice could possibly be Jax's earlier, because my body instantly responded when I heard it. I felt my stomach muscles contract, and the breath in my lungs became stuck. I didn't dare turn towards him.

"Seren." He repeated. "What are you doing?"

"Jax, bro, we're talking." Carter told him, shooting me a quick glance before turning to face Jax.

"I wasn't asking you, bro. I was asking Seren." Jax spat back, clearly unimpressed with the answer Carter provided him.

"I'm talking to Carter." My voice had returned to the icy cold tone it held when talking to Zane, monotonous and flat.

"Why?" Jax basically growled back at me. I closed my eyes. I don't know why. It felt safer.

"Come back to the house with me, Seren." Jax ordered. Did he actually expect me to listen to him? Was he that delusional? Did he not remember what he did to me?

I shook my head, opening my eyes again and shooting Carter a quick glance. Carter was watching me for my reaction, his face fully displayed the confusion that I'm sure he felt. Jax and Carter were close friends after all. They were both on the football team together.

"We're not finished, Jax. What's going on?" Carter asked him, looking back and forth at Jax and I, trying to gauge the situation.

"I don't know." I mumbled, hoping to avert his suspicion. "I'm talking to Carter, Jax. It's none of your business when I come back up to the house."

"Oh, but it's Carter's business?" His voice was a closer version to the one he used last night, full of anger.

"Yeah, it is." I mumbled out, praying that he would take the hint. I could see the edges of Carter's lips threatening to flick up into a smile, he seemed happy with my response.

When Jax didn't move, Carter seemed to be fed up. "Is there a problem, Jax?" Carter's voice had taken an edge, one that I had never heard before.

Jax didn't answer, and finally I heard his shoes thudding against the wood the the dock, letting me know he had given up.

How dare he? How dare he even have the nerve to speak to me, let alone try to control my actions. He should be ashamed of his actions, instead, it felt like he saw no problem with them.

The numbness I had felt all morning had given away to a new emotion, if only slightly.

Anger.

I looked at Carter, who was studying me intently, looking like he was trying to pick his words wisely, but I spoke before he had to.

"I like hanging out with you, Carter." I even mustered a small smile.

The only thing I was thinking about, was how to piss Jax off as much as possible.