See Me

45

My eyes were focused on the doorknob, it kept turning and turning, and I could tell he was rattling it in frustration. The breath I was about to release before I heard his voice was trapped in my chest, pushing uncomfortably against my ribs.

"Seren! Answer the fucking door." Jax yelled, as he banged his fist on the door.

I didn't move, I didn't blink. My eyes were glued to the doorknob. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins, and it wasn't in a good way, like the day Zane and I had jumped into the water, or earlier today when we shared that beautiful kiss. It was adrenaline that was leaving my hands with a buzz.

"Who is that?" Cassidy had jumped to her feet, looking between me and the door.

"It's Jax." I told her simply. Because of course it was Jax. Who else would it be? My voice was the monotone pitch it seemed to assume whenever Jax was near me.

Cassidy's eyes bulged in her head. "Should I call the cops?"

I shook my head. "No. No cops. They won't do anything."

"What do you want me to do?" Cassidy asked me. She was halfway between the couch and the door, her body kept turning directions as if she wasn't sure which way to go.

Still, my eyes watched the door knob.

"Seren?" Cassidy's singular word was with laced with a question, and even though she didn't put it into words, I knew what the question was. It was why aren't you panicking? Why aren't you running? Why aren't you yelling back?

Maybe my life would be a series of flight, fight or freeze for the rest of my life.

Why did I always freeze?

"Seren?" Cassidy repeated, but I didn't look at her.

"Who the fuck is in there?" Jax's voice called out again. "I can hear you speaking."

Maybe Jax realized Cassidy's voice, which was several sound levels above my own, wasn't me, because the doorknob stopped turning. As if the way it had been rotating in perfectly, yet angry, rhythmic motions had been keeping me in trance, I finally turned to Cassidy.

"I don't know." I said quietly. I can't remember if she asked a question, but I said what I felt. And truly, I didn't know. About anything.

"Stay here, get down on the couch." Cassidy whispered, as she walked towards the door.

She didn't have to tell me twice as I ducked my head below the high back of the couch. I was acutely aware of every sound in the air as I heard Cassidy walk towards the door. She didn't hesitate once she got there, before unlocking it and throwing it open.

There was an awkward silence, which I could feel even from across the room, as I'm assuming she opened the door to find Jax. I pictured the look between the two of them, the shock on Jax's face and look of determination that Cassidy wore before telling me to stay hidden.

"Who are you?" I heard Jax demand.

"Cassidy." She answered simply. Her voice was strong.

"Where's Seren?" He asked her. His voice was dripping with desperation. I wondered if Cassidy could hear it too.

"She's not here." Cassidy replied without a minute of hesitation.

"Where is she?"

"She went to Arizona. With Zane." Cassidy told him, as casually as if she was telling him what she ate for breakfast.

"She what?" Jax's change in tone made me flinch. Instead of desperate, it was angry now.

"I said she went to Arizona with Zane." Cassidy repeated.