(Complete) After Seren is assaulted by someone in her friend group, she begins to fall deeper into the depths of her depression. No one seems to notice, except for the former bad boy and his friends.
"Seriously, this is probably the best book I've r...
That much was clear by the way she buried her face in my pillows when my alarm rang out, indicating it was time for us to get up. She groaned when I gently nudged her side. She protested when my mom called down to us when breakfast was on the table. She barely touched her food as my mom smiled, glancing between the two of us.
She was silent during the car ride to school. I barely had to wonder what she was thinking about, and I couldn't blame her for her reluctance to go to school. How she could even bare to be in the building as him, I didn't know. She was strong. Stronger than most.
My thoughts, however, were more complex than usual. Although, since the weekend at the lake house, I have to admit my mind has been fairly busy. My thoughts had occupied Seren, mostly. It was no different today.
I had barely slept since Monday, since she had said those words. My brain was plagued by thoughts of what happened. The guilt was so heavy. I had left her there, that night. I had brought her to that room, knowing she was so drunk she could barely walk, and I had closed the door and walked away. If only I had locked the door before I left. It would have changed everything.
I would have done anything for this not to have happened to her. Anything.
The letters hadn't left my mind, either. It's like the words he had written to her were burned into my mind. I remember the day I knew you loved me too. He was crazy. It was the only word to describe it. Anyone who paid any attention could see that Seren held no traces of even lust in her eyes when she looked at him. He was dangerous. He was obsessed with her. I knew we had to tell someone, before things went even further. But how could we, when she was adamant that she would not?
I could not see a way out. I was only thankful that at least Seren was not drowning on her own, now. I could tread the water with her. And when she became tired, and her legs grew numb from the tiresome underwater movements, I would keep her afloat. I would.
I would do anything for her.
Which lead me to the rest of my thoughts. I had been able to ignore my long drawn admiration of her, for lack of a better word, for many reasons. The obvious one was the most compelling. She had never been interested in me. For many months, I have eaten beside her, drank beside her, laughed beside her, danced beside her. She had never taken note of me, or my actions.
I remember one night, about a month after I met her, Cain invited me to a party with them. She had actually spoken to me, that night. I felt like a sixth grader who spoke to his crush for the first time, stammering out thoughts that didn't make sense. Even then, I could tell that I was barely holding her attention, even in the midst of an active conversation with me. She seemed a world away.
And now, when she was clearly so broken inside, she was holding my hand. She was reaching for my touch whenever possible. She was searching for me in a crowd. And I was only left to wonder whether the cause is simply because I saw her. Not just her, and the perfection of beauty that she is on the outside, but her. She was equally as beautiful on the inside, yet it was a different kind of a beautiful. It was not the perfection that she looked to be on the outside, it was far more complex than that.
I once compared Seren's beauty to an ocean wave. I stand by those words. On the inside, she is just the same. An ocean wave. Deep, crushing, and never ending.
How could I read into those actions, knowing how broken she really is? Does she see me as I've longed for her to see me, or does she just see me because I'm there? When she heals, and I hope she eventually will, with all that I am I hope so much for that, will she realize that she wasn't in love, and that she was just in pain?
She's been different since she's told me. Like she's breathing again. She was laughing, smiling, joking. Maybe it's just the easement of knowing she wasn't alone, but maybe it has something to do with me. With us. Together.
"Zane?" Seren's voice pulled me from my thoughts.
"Hm?" I hummed out, glancing over to her. She was staring at me, like how she usually stared at me. With a sadness in her eyes that tore through my heart.
"I'm worried." She said quietly, her voice was so low that I could barely hear it over the soft music that was playing. I always played the same kind of music when she was in the car with me. It seemed to calm her.
"I know." I told her. I moved my hand to her leg, gently rubbing circles. I could feel the way she reacted to my touch. Like it was aloe on a sunburn. "I'll be with you. He won't touch you again, Seren, I promise you."
"I'm not worried about that." She surprised me by saying.
"About what, then?" I stilled my hand, giving her leg a gentle squeeze of reassurance.
Seren lowered her head, looking down at her knees. I had realized quite quickly that she looks away from me when she doesn't want me to read her face.
"Jax told me not to talk to Carter. He told me that he would tell everyone we had sex if did." She explained.
That fucking bastard. The sight of my fist hitting his face flashed through my mind once more.
"And you're worried that he will do the same because you're with me?" I finished her thought for her. "Uh, not with me, like with me. Around me, I meant."
Smooth, Zane, smooth.
"Yeah. I just... the thought of anyone knowing. I can't." Seren looked back up to me, and I felt a pain in my chest when I noticed that her eyes were watering.
"Jax won't say anything." I wouldn't let him.
"What do you mean?" Seren asked, her voice laced with confusion.
I sighed as I pulled my car into the school parking lot.
"I'll beat his fucking ass if he tries."
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