Forever Hopeless

you dont understand

I sat behind the door and cried because I was scared. Scared of myself. My life. Of Calum. I searched through my bag barely able to see anything because of my tears. I sat back when I found what I was looking for. I was now laying on my back on the floor. I cried harder than I ever had in my life as I held the knife close to my chest. I closed my eyes and pointed the sharp part down. I griped the handle with both of my hands and pulled slightly down.

  "Samantha!!!" Michael ran to my side and knocked it out of my hand. He grabbed my hands and held them tight against his chest. I turned on my side and cried some more. I opened my eyes and looked at michael. His face was pale and he looked scared to death. He picked me up and brought me close to him. I turned my head and burried it in his chest.

  "Sam wh-why?" His voice was shaky and it sounded like he was going to cry. I wrapped my hands around his neck but kept my face hidden in his chest.

  "I have no reason to stay here." He was quiet. We were both quiet for about 2 minutes.

  "Sam..I need you. You can't leave me. You are my reason to stay." I looked up at him and saw he was crying.

  "Michael thank you. You...saved me." He just nodded then hugged me. I heard the door open behind us and I looked up. Calum stood in the doorway looking at us with a scowel. "Cal-"

  "Get out!"

  "No Calum you don't understand!"

  "I said get out!! Now! Michael leave!!" He slowly stood up but I didt let him go.

  "Sam let go." He whispered softly.

  "I can't." I said louder.

  "Sam let go!" Calum grabbed my arm and ripped me away.

  "Owe!" I held my arms where they were still tender from earlier.

  "Calum calm the fuck down!" Michael said turning back to us.

  "I said leave!"  He pushed michael out and shut the door.

  "Calum why are you doing this?" I said starting to cry again. He didn't answer me. He just looked around the room till the knife still laying on the floor caught his eye.

  "What is this?" He bent over and picked it up.
  "Cal i can explain.." I started to say.
  "Then start explaining." He said angrily.  
  "Calum why are you doing this?"
  "I want you stay away from the boys. All of them. Your going to get hurt. You need to focus on the future and stop letting them mess with your head.
  "Calum no i-"
  "I dont care. Stay away from them." He said then kicked my shins making me fall to the ground. He then walked out without saying anything else.I let myself cry some more before getting up and walking to Luke's room. I knocked and kept checking my back to make sure cal wasn't behind me. The door opened and luke sat in the doorway looking at me with concern. He waved me in and let me sit on his bed.

  "Sam are you alright?" I nodded my head yes then started to cry again. He ran over to me and sat next to me.

  "What is it? You can tell me anything." I rolled up my sleeves and looked away as I held my arms out for Luke to see. I heard him gasp and his breath shorten. He took my arms and looked at them.

  "Luke I'm so sorry!"

  "No no you don't have to be sorry for anything." He took my arms and kissed them up and down making sure he got every cut. Luke was showing me he loved me by just not beating me up for this.

  "So your n-not mad?"

  "No...not at all."  I smiled and looked up at like. He looked down at me and hugged me. "I could never be mad at such a beautiful creature." He said slightly under his breath. I felt a smile spread across my face after he placed another small kiss on the top of my head. I sat up and looked at him.

  "Luke..." We stared at each other until I heard the door open. My head shot over to the door and prayed it wasn't Calum. But of course he stood in the doorway gawking at us. He rushed over to me and grabbed my arm and pulled me away. Luke jumped up and followed us.

  "Luke go away I'm going to talk to Sam." I looked at luke hoping he wouldn't leave. He stood there before a second with his mouth open ready to say something.

  "No." Calums mouth nearly fell to the floor.

  "What?"

  "No. She looks terrified."

  "She looks fine now come on Sam." He started to pull me outside but I felt someone grab ahold of my other arm. 

  "She is staying here." He said firmly. Now I was being pulled back and forth like a dog toy. Someone let go and I flung into Luke's arms. However he didn't catch me because Calum wasn't very far behind me. The two started taking swings at each other on the floor.

  "Stop! Stop it!" I screamed but nobody listened. So instead of doing anything I ran back to my room and cried. As I sat there I began to think. Michael didn't fight for me like luke did. He faught for me twice now. So I got up and went outside to help him. But when I walked out nobody was there. I ran everywhere but didn't see them. And as I was running I almost smacked my face into an opening door. Luke and Calum walked out of the room with bruises all over their faces. I opened my mouth to speak but I stopped when luke looked at me then turned away. He walked away and went to his room. My eyes started to water because the one who I thought was fighting for me, gave up.