Forever Hopeless

memories

Listen to memories by panic at the disco during this.

I turned around quickly and found Ashton standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
"Oh...Ashton you scared me." I said as I grasped my chest that was rising and falling quickly.
"Oh my god Sam what happened to you?" He said reaching out to touch me but I flinched away.
"Sam tell me what happened." This was my chance to get answers. We will swop.
"You tell me what happened to me. Tell me why I have scars covering my arms and legs. Tell me what my life was like before this happened." I pointed to myself and watched ashton stand in the hallway with a blank stare.
"Fine...don't tell me." He said and stepped forward toward me but I turned around and ran (the best that I could) back down the stairs and to the kitchen. I was going to reach for the knife drawer but then I remembered something way more useful. Ashton was following me so I had to be fast or he would see what I was doing and he would stop me. I turned into the dining room and pulled the carpet up that revealed a small door. I opened it and grabbed what I needed then ran outside and hopped in the car. I started it and set what I grabbed beside me on the seat then started to drive. I drove to a place that I used to go to as a little girl. It was a beautiful place that looked over the city. The lights of every house shine brightest at night which make it look like the stars are below you. Its amazing. I always feel like I am on top of the world when I'm here. My problems go away and I can think without voices jumbling my mind up.
I pulled up to the parking lot and stared down at the city through blury eyes. This was it. Nobody is ever going to tell me. I will never know who I was, or Calum was, or anybody else. I'm lost in this world and I can't find my way. If I couldn't find out, then might as well never try to find out.
I opened the door and grabbed what I needed from the front seat then got out and walked toward the edge of the cliff. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Peaceful. Its so peaceful. Not a sound in the air to distract me. That was until I heard tires on gravel behind me. I opened my eyes and turned around only to find Ashton, Calum, Michael, and Luke getting out of the car franticly.
"Sam! Your ok!" Calum said with tears of joy while walking forward me. But I couldn't let him talk me out if this.
I quickly held the gun to my head and stared at all of them with tears streaming down my face and my lip trembling.
"Don't come any closer or I'll shoot!" I said, sobs breaking up my sentence. Everyone froze and looked at me with terror in their eyes.
"S-sam put it down. Put the gun down." Calum said using his hands as gestures. I put my finger on the trigger and cocked the gun making everyone grow more tense.
"I ca-cant." I said as I started to cry harder as the realization of what i was about to do hit me. Calum started to walk toward me again but I stopped him.
"No, stop! I-ill do it!" I shouted making him freeze again. They all were sobbing and slowly inching closer but with every move I made they stopped in their tracks.
"Just let me go." I whispered.
Then suddenly a wave of something came over me.
"Sam I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I did." Calum said tears streaming down his face.
"Well maybe I should have let you die in there." Michael said with disgust in his voice.
"Do you forgive me sam?" Luke said and the crowd started to chant.
I threw the picture of me and calum to the floor, breaking the glass.
"Your parents never loved you druggie." Shot said as he punched me in the stomach.

"Well...sam...they were murdered " calum said as he started to cry.
"I will forget you someday ashton Irwin. Don't think that I won't."
Wait ... I remember,.. I remember!
"Calum I remember!" But my voice was muffeled my a loud bang from beside me. I felt my arms go numb and I couldn't stand up. My legs gave out and I fell in the dirt path. My breath was getting short and there was a terrible throbbing in my head. I tried to speak but I couldn't manage any words. I couldn't hear anything either, only a loud ringing in my ears and the faint shouts of calum and the others yelling my name.
I barely opened my eyes, but just enough to see calum leaning over me with tears pouring from his eyes and him mouthing the words no. A tear fell on my cheek reminding me of how I have hurt him. And Ashton and Michael. And Luke. And how this was my ending. My exit from the world that I couldn't remember till it was time to leave.
Peaceful. Its so peaceful. The town shining like the stars below you. Makes you feel like you were on top of the world.
Now, unable to keep my eyes open, I shut them and breathed my last breath, so I could be on top of all the sparkling lights, from the city, stars, and all.

Oh my god its done !!!! i know right? Well I have had such a good time writing this. Sorry its over.
But i will be doing a book two so be looking forward to that soon! I love all if you guys and thank you for reading this book. It means a lot
Comment what you thought about the book and the ending please! :)