Forever Hopeless

this was your chance

***Sam's POV***
Ashton shut the bathroom door and locked it. He looked up at me and shook his head as if he were saying there was no need for what had happened. I sat up on the counter and watched Ashton pace the small bathroom floor. He finally stopped then walked up to me and took my hands.
"Why?" I tilted my head and shrugged my shoulders.
"What do you mean?" He sighed and came closer to me.
"Why do you think you aren't worth fighting for?" My stomach sank and I no longer was looking at Ashton. "Sam!" He said loudly making me jump.
"Ashton I'm not! So can we just leave this alone?" He grabbed my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes that were starting to fill up with tears.
"Yes you are. Why are you saying that!" I grabbed his hands and threw them off of me. I rolled up my sleeves revealing scars that covered all of my skin. Some new, some old. I closed my eyes and felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks.
"Because of this Ashton." I said quietly. "This has showed me who I am. I'm a scarred pathetic-"
"Strong. Person." I looked up at him and saw tears in his eyes. "For every scar, it shows how you have grown stronger." He smiled but I pulled my arms away and shook my head.
"No Ashton. Look I'm sorry. You may see this strong person but I am a weak pile of shit that is forever hopeless." I jumped down and opened the door. Ashton didn't follow me which I thought he would. I walked to my room and started gathering some things. I grabbed my phone and a bag. I turned around and found ashton looking at me.
"What are you doing?" He asked quickly. I dropped my bag and pushed him out of my way.
"Leaving." I got to the door of the hotel room and opened it quickly but Ashton pushed it shut.
"No you're not." I chelched my jaw and shoved him, hard enough to make him fall to the ground.
"I will forget you someday Ashton Irwin. Don't think I won't." I opened the door then slammed it behind me. I had tears in my eyes which made it hard for me to see. My mind drifted back to Ashton but I just shook my head and walked faster to the entrance. Once I was outside, I started to run. I ran down the sidewalk till I saw a place that would help. I walked into the bar and sat down hoping somebody would buy me a drink. Thankfully somebody came up to me and sat with me.
"Hey there." I looked up and saw a man with dark hair and some facial hair. I smiled as he sat down.
"You look like you need a drink."
***
Two hours later, I was drunk off my ass and running around like a maniac. I felt nothing, remembered nothing, thought anything. It was perfect.
If I didn't remember what happened I wouldn't hurt, and if I didn't hurt, I would be happy.
I leaned over the bar and tried to grab the shot glasses but the bar tender shooed me away. After a while he got sick of me and called security. Two men in black came over to me and grabbed my arms and took me outside. They threw me onto the sidewalk and I didn't even feel the pain on my hands from the pavement. I looked up and saw the busy street buzzing with tons of cars the bright headlights in the dark hurt my eyes. I slowly got up but then nearly fell back down. I finally got myself some what stable then walked over to a crosswalk. I squinted my eyes because I thought I saw the walk sign, and there were no cars coming so I started to walk. It wasn't long till my head filled with a loud honking noise. All I remember next, was laying on the hard ground looking up at the stars.
***Ashton's POV***
"Guys where did Sam go?" Luke asked while walking g into the room.
"She left." I said looking down onto my feet. Everyone looked at me with a confused look.
"What!" Calum shouted.
"I said she left. But she will come back. She always does." I said as I kicked the ground.
"Don't you remember what happened last time she left?" Calum asked in a worried tone. I just shrugged then sat down on the couch. Calum pulled his phone out franticly and started to dial a number. He held it up to his ear and waited while it rang.
"Went to voicemail." He tried again but no luck.
"She's not answering!" Calum was now pacing around the room trying to call Sam.
"Did she even take her phone?" I nodded remembering her grab her phone before leaving. I watched Calum as be was about to dial the number again, but he stopped when his started ringing. He quickly answered and had a smile on his face but in the matter of seconds it disappeared. I could hear the buz of the end of the call but Calum kept it held up to his ear while he stared off into space. Slowly his hand fell to his side and he looked like he was going to cry.
"Cal what's up? Was that her?" Calum looked at Luke and shook his head.
"No s-shes, she's in the hospital." Everyone jumped up from where they were and started to get their shoes on. While everyone was rushing around Calum still stood in the same spot staring off. I walked up to him so we could go.
"Cal she is going to be alright. She was last time. She will be now." His eyes trailed across the room till they reached me.
"That's not what the doctors said."