Forever Hopeless

thoughts haunting me

Ashton helped me back to the house. When we got to the door he stopped and turned toward me.

  "Are you sure you're ok?" He asked looking straight into my eyes.

  "Yes I'm fine what about you? He punched you in the eye." He looked down at my bruised and bandaged stomach. I saw him look down and made him look at me once again. "Don't worry it will be ok." To admit I was a little nervous to walk into the house. I was wearing a half shirt so it shown my bruises. I was still limping and my eye was darker. I reached for the handle but ashton got to it before me. He twisted the handle and pushed on the door. As we walked in I felt everyone look at me. Calum ran toward me and scanned me from head to toe.

  "Sam! what-"

  "Calum please don't make a big deal about this."

  " how can I not when my little sister comes in looking half dead!"

  "Do I really look that bad?" I smirked making the others except cal laugh.

  "Michael..."Cal paused. "Will you take sam upstairs please and get her cleaned up?"

  "Um...sure..." Michael got up and held out his arms around me pulling me away from ash.

I looked back and saw the others talking.

  "Guys I've seen her come home like this before." Cal said looking down.

  "What? you have? Why didn't you do anything about it?!" Ashton said starting to get defensive.

  "I just didn't know what to do and..." Calum sat down and put his face in his hands.

  Luke spoke up. "She needs to get away from whoever is doing this to her."

  "I agree." Ashton said while pacing around the kitchen.

  Luke looked up "she could come on the tour vacation with us." He looked around waiting for a response. "The school year is almost over and it would be nice for her to be around all of us."

Calum looked up and agreed. "That way I can have an eye on her and she will be close to me." Luke nodded and looked up at ash who was still walking around. He stopped and smiled...

" Great. When do we leave?"

  " in two weeks." Calum replied.

  "Ok." Luke and ashton smiled. I know all the boys like me... Even ash who has been very kind to me lately. Michael finished wiping all the blood away and began to unwrap the tape. As he did I got more nervous because I wasn't sure what it would feel like against the cool air.

  "Oh my god! Sam that looked like it really hurts what happened.?"

  "It happened yesterday and all I can say is when I looked down I saw a small pocket knife in my side."

  "Oh fuck why would someone do that?"

  "I'm not really sure..." He cleaned that and then wrapped it again. He look me downstairs and sat me down at the table. Calum was over in the other but when I sat down he got up and walked over to me.

  "Sam...I need to ask you something " cal said crouching down. I looked at him not sure what he was going to ask. "So all us lads are going to do a vacation thing...her in a few weeks...and we wanted you to come so you can have a break for a while." Calums big brown eyes were staring into mine. I tilted my head from side to side saying I would have to think about it. He nodded and stood up then walked back to the other room where Luke and Ashton sat.

___________

It was sometime around 1 in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about what shot had said to me. Maybe he was right what if my parents were sick of me and they didn't want me so they... I stopped thinking those thoughts before I was going to cry. I sat up in my bed and walked around like usual. I remembered that the guys stayed over so the thoughts of the knife drawer faded. But as I was thinking I needed to stop thinking. About everything. I walked to my mom and dads old room. Ashton was sleeping in there and I made sure I was quiet so I wouldn't wake him. I knew my mom had a sewing kit somewhere. And as I was looking I tripped and fell over the rug. I stayed on the floor hoping Ashton was still sleeping, but when I turned around he was looking at me from the bed.

  "What are you doing on the floor?" He whispered.

  "I...was looking for something." He got up and helped me up.

  "Thanks..." I said smiling as he held me close to his body.

  "What were you looking for?"he asked suspiciously with one brow raised.

  "I - was...." He hushed me...

  "Don't lie." For some reason I didn't feel shy and closed up to ash...ever... and I would always tell him everything. But I knew I couldn't say what I was really looking for.

  "I...should be...getting back to bed..." I turned around and began to walk away, but he grabbed my arm.

  "Wait..." I stopped and faced him "are...you busy....tomorrow... Like after school?" I stood there for a minute before answering him...I wasn't sure what he was doing. Was he asking me out on a date? Or did he just want to hang out as friends? My stomach felt weird...and no not because of the bruises but it felt warm and fuzzy. I stuttered because I was nervous.

  "Uh - y- ya." I thought that was my answer when I realized I gave him the wrong answer. "Wait! no...no I'm not...doing anything tomorrow..." He laughed when I corrected my self

  "Ok I'll...pick you up... After school....I guess"

  "Ok....see you in the morning I guess." I smiled and walkd away completely frogeting what I came in here for.

  "Goodnight." I could hear ashton say as I walked out of the room. He went to the doorway and watched me go my room. I smiled when I went to close my door and saw ashton peeking at me from the corner. I shut the door and sat on my bed trying to fall asleep but I couldn't....I was so happy. I haven't felt this happy in a very long time.

   

*sorry its short and boring trust me the next chapter is bettet