Forever Hopeless

lonely

***Sam's POV***
  I opened he door of my room and found myself in a mess. There was glass on the floor and what looks like a table on the ground. As I walked, the glass cracked beneath my feet like ice. What happened in here? I reached down and picked up a broken picture frame with me and Calum inside. Slowly, I felt my eyes start to water because i had the horrible feeling I did this. I trashed this room, I left blood stained towels around on the floor, and I did this to myself. Finally my tears came and started to fall down my cheeks. Why me? Why was it me who had to go through this life and do this to myself? I felt so alone and scared. I don't know what t-
  "Sam?" I quiet voice called from my doorway making my stop my thoughts and look back.
  "Oh...hi Michael..." I said while sniffling and wiping my tears so it looked like I wasn't crying.
  "What are you crying about?" He stayed in the doorway and watched me as I shook my head.
  "Everything." He walled up to me and brushed the glass out of the way so he could sit down next to me. It wasn't till now that I noticed that I was sitting.
  "I just...since I woke up, I have felt so scared and...lost. I don't know who anybody is, I don't know who I am, I'm not sure that I even trust myself. Or A-ashton or...you..." He sighed and shifted a little bit.
  "Nobody will tell me what happened before this and..." I started crying and could no longer finish my sentence.
  "Will you tell me?" I said quietly through my tears. He sighed again and started to wrap his arm around me but I shot up and turned toward him.
  "Will you!" He looked at the ground then opened his mouth to say something but I stomped my foot making him look up.
  "That's what I thought." I spun around and walked out my door and down the stairs.
I went and sat down on the couch but I heard Michael calling after me so I stood up and went to the door.
  "Sam I would tell you but-" I slammed he door, cutting him off from his words. Finally peace.
  "Sam?" Really?
  "What!" I spun around thinking to see Michael but instead I saw Luke. "Oh...sorry." He shrugged and walked over to me.
  "Are you alright?" I'm not even going to try anymore.
  "No." I turned back around and started to walk away, then found Luke at my side.
  "Well...will you tell me whats wrong?"
  "No." I walked faster but he stayed with me.
  "Sam, I can't tell you what happened because it will put too much on you." I paused and watched her confused look turn to anger and sadness.

***flashback***
 
Luke's POV

Calum pounced on me making us both fall to the ground.
  "No please! Stop!" Sam shouted at us as we started to swing at each other but we were both too furious and wouldn't listen to her.
  "Stop!" She sobbed while she started to try and pull us away from each other. Finally she gave up and ran off to her room.
  "Calum why are you doing this?" I managed to get out despite all the punches that were being delivered to my face. He grumbled then jumped off of me and began to pace the hallway.
  "Let's talk somewhere else." He said as I got up. We walked into an ampty room and I sat in the bed while Calum stood by the door.
  "I'm scared." I looked at him and raised one brow.
  "Of?" He took a deep breath and shook his head.
  "Of...of what I do to people. Of Sam." I nodded my head even though I had no idea what he was saying.
  "Why?" I simply asked making him shift around again. "Why are you doing this to Sam, to me, to...everyone else!" He closed his eyes for a while then when he opened them he had tears falling down his cheeks.
  "I know what Sam feels like."
  "Don't try to change the subject!" I said gettibg up from the bed.
  "I was bullied and teased before I met you guys came along." My face softened and i sat back down, now feeling bad for yelling.
  "It got so bad to the point to where I didn't want to live anymore." My breath started to get deeper and I felt my heart start to beat faster.
  "At one point I was done. I climbed to the top of the school building and looked down at the people who were starting to crowd around and yelling don't jump. I was about to jump when my...friend... came and grabbed me. He talked me out of what I wanted to do. But for a split second I remembered why I was doing it in the first place. We were still on top of the building and I...I got mad and..." He stopped talking and wiped his eyes because now he was crying a lot.
  "I pushed him." I instantly stood up and went to Calum and engulfed him in a hug but he pushed me away.
  "Did he..." He shook his head and looked down.
  "He survived, but I injured him severely. He hates me now and I haven't talked to him since." I now looked at the floor because I didn't know what to say. Should I comfort him? Or see if I can understand why he was telling me this sory in the first place.
  "Calum-"
  "Luke this us why I don't want you to go near Sam. This is why I don't want to you to get attached. Because if you do she will hurt you. And herself. I don't want to have her go through what I went through. So please listen to me." I was still looking at the floor deciding what I was going to do.
  Calum was right. We will get hurt if we get involved. But if we don't Sam might do something bad. I hate Calum for having to do this but, It will to keep all of us safe.
**end of flashback***

Sam's POV

"My life was really that bad?" Luke shook his head but I turned away and started to run. Was my life so bad, that nobody could stand to tell me what happened? Well...I guess I'll never know.