Forever Hopeless

I shouldn't have done that

We all gathered out things and headed to the deck. I hadn't ever really been with the guys when they are in public but it was crazy. There were girls screaming the instant we are out onto the deck. There were just so many that i couldn't see the ground. Calum nudged my shoulder and nodded toward the crowd.

"Isn't this great?" He laughed and began walking toward the girls. I followed him but was soon separated from him due to pushing and shoving crazed fans. I got shoved by a big girl and found myself falling to the ground but caught by something strong. I looked up and saw hazel eyes and curly hair hanging over smiling at me.

"You alright?"

"Ya this is crazy!" I stood up and stood close to ashton so i wouldn't get lost. He wrapped His arm around me from behind and led me out of the crowd and to the limo. Once we got inside I sighed and relaxed. Calum and Luke were in the limo but Michael was probably still finding his way. Once Michael got in the car started and we drove off.

Once we arrived at the hotel we all piled out and found our rooms. I was walking down the hall to go eat something but was stopped my someone calling my name.I flipped around and saw Ashton.

"Hey." He smiled and walked over to me.

"Hi." He put his arm over my shoulder as we walked.

"Hey so I was thinking...there is a bowling ally nearby and...wanted to know if you wanted to go there for our..."

"That sounds great." I looked at at him and saw him smiling.

"Ok...tonight at...8?"

"Nine."

"Why nine?"

"Well...just it will be later and..cal will...either be drunk or asleep." He chuckled and squeezed me.

"Sure." I smiled and started to walked away but kept Ashtons hand in mine.

Later i went back to my room and started to get ready. I put on dark jeans as usual, but put a muscle shirt because i wasn't afraid what ashton would think. He already knew and i don't think he minded much. Anyways i put some makeup on and went outside to find the guys. They were in Luke's room all sitting on the bed (each with a beer)either looking at a phone or computer screen. I noticed Ashton wasn't sitting down with them...i actually didn't see him at all. Michael looked up from the computer and smiled at me...almost making me think he was getting the wrong idea. At that moment ashton came out of the bathroom wearing black skinny jeans along with a black jacket. He smiled at me and told me to go wait outside. I nodded and began to walk away but i felt everyone's eyes on me. I remembered what Calum had said earlier, and i knew Ashtom wouldn't hurt me. His eyes were on me as well as Micheal's. I felt sort of bad...I'm not really sure what about..i just...did. I glanced at Michael who gave me the cold shoulder and walked out of the room looking a little upset. Ashton watched him stomp out of the room as i did. But after he was gone he walked over to my side and said 'see ya later' to the guys. They waved him off and we walked outside.
***
The ball rolled down the alley and clashed with three pins.

"Ashton im really bad...no joke." I turned around and saw him laughing at me but when he saw me satring at him, he sat up and lost the laugh.

"No come on your not that bad!" He walked over to me and grabbed a ball. He rolled and knocked all of the pins down. He turned back to me and blushed.

"How do you--see you are perfect."

"No...not perfect." He laughed and grabbed a ball for me. "Here let me helpyou." He gave me the ball and guided me to the isle. "So hold the ball like this." He wrapped his arms around me and grabbed my hands. I felt a blush rise up in my cheeks. His body was pressed up against mine giving me butterflies and making me feel weak in the knees. He swung the ball back and I let go when I was supposed to. The ball flew down the isle and hit the middle on making the rest fall. My mouth fell open and I jumped up and down in excitement.

"Yes!" I turned around and saw Ashton who looked very proud if himself. I was so excited I couldn't control myself. I ran over to Ashton and threw my arms around him and landed my lips on his. After a few seconds my brain realized what I was doing and i pulled away. I searched his eyes for a reaction but nothing happened. I started to panic. What if he didn't want to kiss me. What if I messed everything up? I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. I let him go and ran in the direction of the bathrooms. I burst through the door and closed it behind me. I looked in the mirror and saw tears streaming down my face. Why did I have to do that! I'm so stupid. My thoughts traveled back to what Calum said about me getting hurt. Maybe he was right. My thoughts were scattered when I heard someone knock. I opened and before I knew what was going in I felt a pair of lips on mine. He was so gentle but...in control. That's when I realized that kissing Michael was a mistake. Ashton was the one I was in love with. Not Michael. Ashton had his hand up on the wall and the other one on my waist. At first I didn't know what to do but I finally placed my hand up on his cheek and the other on his stomach. Our lips moved together like that's all they knew what to do. We staid like this for a moment before I pulled away and looked at the floor. Ashton touched my chin to make me look at him. He was smiling but when he saw my face it disappeared.

"Hey hey what's wrong?" My eyes were full of tears and some were falling down on my cheek.

"I'm sorry." I put my head down and covered my face.

"For what? You don't have to be sorry for anything." He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug. I burried my face into the crook of his neck and cried.

"Just...for what happened with Michael." I said quietly. I felt him laugh a little which made me feel somewhat better. He pulled me back and searched my eyes.

"I don't care about that. As long as I have you now I am good." This time, tears of happyness were rolling down my cheeks and onto Ashton's shirt.

"Thank you." I said before lifting myself off of him. He hugged me one more time and we walked out of the bathroom. The very second though I was ambarassed because the man behind the counter looked at us and rolled his eyes like he knew what ashton did. I looked away and im sure ashton saw my embarrassment because he grabbed me and pulled me into a side hug as we walked.
***
"Are you sure they are asleep?" I asked quietly as we approached the boys room.
"ya its 11:30 and we have had a long day." I nodded and waited while Ashton pulled out his card key. He swiped it and opened the door. The room was dark and smelled like alcohol.
"Do you smell that?"
"Yea...I don't think thats very good." He said taking hand and leading me to his room. There were 5 rooms...meaning everyone got their room....but it was all connected like one big room with 5 little ones. We walked down the hall and entered his room. He sat down on his bed and I sat next to him.
"So I..hope you had fun." He looked at me and I reached out and grabbed his hand.
"I did...Ashton." I smiled but still couldn't help thinking about what happened that night with Michael. I know ashton said he didn't care...but I still knew he felt hurt by it. I was looking down at his hand while i played with it. He took his hand away which mad end look up but when I did he was closer than he was before. I felt a smile creep onto my lips as ashton leaned closer and closer. I could practily feel his soft breathing on my lips. I closed my eyes and ran my hand through his curly hair making his breath hitch. He pecked my lips once then placed several smaller kisses all over my face. His hand was resting on my thigh and my other hand was pressed against his chest. I could feel his heavy breathing which made me see that he really actually liked me. His lips came back to mine and he started kissing me again. He deepened the kiss and I fell back onto the backboard. He let out a small moan when I tugged on his hair as I ran my fingers through it. My mind was going crazy. Never would I think that I would be feeling like this about someone...let alone someone feeling like this about me.
"Sam?" I heard a quiet voice behind is say. At first I thought ashton said it...but our lips were at war. I opened my eyes and slightly pushed on ashton telling him to stop. He pulled away and looked at me confused. I looked past him and saw someone standing in the door.