*the group sitting at a dining table*
saltyNate: hey can you pass the salt?
chatnoob2: *throws simplii across the room*
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*chatnoob2 teaching simplii how to drive*
chatnoob2: now, you're driving on a highway and TurtleKnight and GamerBoyCart are in your way. what do you hit?
simplii: i hit TurtleKnight cause GamerBoyCart's not as stupid and hes nicer
chatnoob2, rubbing temples: the brakes, simplii, you hit the brakes.
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*TurtleKnight walking around with a plant*
saltyNate: whats TurtleKnight doing with a potted plant?
chatnoob2: simplii's making him replace all the oxygen he wasted saying stupid stuff
saltyNate: really? well, its time someone made him do that.
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chatnoob2: whos ur favorite child?
simplii's mom: well, simplii of course, she's so independent and easy to take care of.
*simplii bursts into room with makeup on face and wearing two hundred t-shirts and slush in hair and hair scorched*
simplii: MOM ME AND MY LITTLE BRO AND MY FRIENDS WERE PLAYING DARE OR WORSE DARE AND NOW I CANT GET OUT AND I JUST STABBED TURTLEKNIGHT AND GAMERBOYCART IS HAVING A SEIZURE AND SALTYNATE IS CHOKING ON TWO PAPERCLIPS ATTACHED TO AN ERASER AND MY LITTLE BRO SPRAYED SOME DUST BUNNIES WITH HAIR SPRAY AND WENT OVER THEM WITH ROLLER BLADES AND NOW THEY'RE ON FIRE AND A BOWL WITH BRAKE FLUID AND CLOROX IS SMOKING!!! HELP!!!
chatnoob2: I thought you said simplii was ur favorite child???
simplii's mom: i said "favorite" not "helpful". theres a difference.
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chatnoob2: for safety reasons, we are going to pretend that a robber has broken into the house.
chatnoob2: YAAHHHH! I AM DARKSTALKER! GIVE ME YOUR MONEY IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!
saltyNate: Bold of you to assume that I have money!
simplii: bold of you to assume that I want to live.
*saltyNate and chatnoob2 stare*
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GamerBoyCart: i need advice.
TurtleKnight, putting spray cheese in his soup: you came to the right person.
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chatnoob2: now, do any of you have healthy stress outlets?
saltyNate: screaming
GamerBoyCart: self-harm
TurtleKnight: drugs
simplii: murder
chatnoob2: okay, so we have "screaming"....
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chatnoob2: what is the hardest thing to say?
GamerBoyCart: sorry
saltyNate: I was wrong
simplii: the truth
TurtleKnight: Worcestershire sauce.
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simplii, watching the news: some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.
TurtleKnight enters, covered in squid ink: maybe the squid was being a jerk.
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hello my dear readers.
sry for the short chapter, i have schoolwork to do lol
okay bye.
YOU ARE READING
joke collection :)
Randomthis is a bunch of jokes of me and my friends most of these jokes taken from favoritesaltybleach, most credit goes to them TurtleKnight: a quiet, introverted person who play a lot of games (virgo) GamerBoyCart: TurtleKnight's friend. Has a very stro...
