joke collection :)

jokes 21

*classmates arguing about macaron vs macaroon*

saltyNate: iT'S aN oReO

________________________________________________________________________________

chatnoob2: watch the onions. they make you cry.

simplii: NOT IF I MAKE THEM CRY FIRST

*simplii stabs onion*

________________________________________________________________________________

simplii: did you eat all my powdered donuts?

TurtleKnight, with a donut in his mouth: n-no.

simplii: then what's that white powder on your pants?

TurtleKnight, panicking: that's cocaine

________________________________________________________________________________

airport security: liquids aren't allowed on the plane, sir

saltyNate: oh. *chugs all of it*

airport security: people usually just throw away their shampoo...

________________________________________________________________________________

*texting*

simplii: what are you, three?

chatnoob2: yeah, three heads taller than you.

***

simplii, banging on chatnoob2's bedroom door: OPEN THE DOOR YOU F-ING COWARD

chatnoob2: I WAS KIDDING

________________________________________________________________________________

TurtleKnight: i want to be as strong and stable and panther is

saltyNate:

saltyNate: i saw him drop a pizza then cry about it for twenty minutes.

________________________________________________________________________________

panther: you don't like to admit it but if anyone else was mean to TurtleKnight you'd beat them up.

simplii: psh, no-

TurtleKnight: *enters the room with a pout on his face* chatnoob2 said she's going to kick my ass.

simplii, standing up: not if i kick hers first.

________________________________________________________________________________

chatnoob2: recommend a book that made you cry

TurtleKnight: math makes sense 6th edition

________________________________________________________________________________

*during a math exam*

that one smart kid: *starts crying*

TurtleKnight, saltyNate, panther, chatnoob2: oH sHi-

________________________________________________________________________________

Itzza: i got you a flower. it reminded me of you.

simplii: aww, you shouldn't have-

Itzza: BECAUSE ITS CHEAP AND FAKE.

*throws it at simpliis head*

chatnoob2 and TurtleKnight, breaking down the door: OKAY WHO SAID THAT

________________________________________________________________________________

*during a math test*

TurtleKnight, whispering: hey bro, we're friends right

panther, whispering back: of course bro, what's up

TurtleKnight: what's 5 plus 3

panther: duh bro its 53

TurtleKnight: thanks bro you're the best.

________________________________________________________________________________

Itzza: did you fall from heaven?

simplii: aww Itzza stop being so chee-

Itzza: even god didn't want you around huh

chatnoob2 and TurtleKnight, breaking down the door: AGAIN?

simplii: you're going to rack up a million dollars worth of buying new doors if you keep doing that you know. theres a marvelous invention called a doorknob located on the right side of-

chatnoob2 and TurtleKnight: SHUT UP AND STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT HE INSULTED YOU.

________________________________________________________________________________

reactions to skydiving

simplii: screams (i have a height problem)

chatnoob2 as she spirals downward 900 meters toward the ground "tHiS iS aMAzIng!!!"

TurtleKnight: is so scared of heights that he never got on the plane in the first place

saltyNate: oNe HugE fAll foR mAn

panther: oh my god *gets kicked out of the plane by chatnoob2*

Itzza: *stays silent until he jumps out the plane* AND THUS, I DIE

________________________________________________________________________________

reactions to a kid crying on the bus

Itzza: plugs in earphones volume 100%

TurtleKnight: does nothing

simplii: goes up to the kid "are you okay"

chatnoob2: makes funny faces to make them stop

panther: doesn't even notice

saltyNate: sings 100 bottles of beer really loud to drown the kid out

________________________________________________________________________________

thats it

cya later