How to make him fall for me? [YiZhan FF - RomCom]✔️

21. thoughts

21. thoughts

It is hard for me to describe what it feels like to wake up in the morning and know that my dream is no longer a dream and that I am actually with the love of my life. I have always wanted it so much, since the day I saw him and fell in love with him, but I never really believed that there would ever be anything between us. At least not for the first two years.

Thanks to Suri, however, my opinion changed. For me, she was just a ticket to my goal and then became a very important person for me, whom I love and respect. I can't say enough that she kept her promise and brought Zhan and me together.

And now that Zhan and I are a couple, there is this overwhelming feeling inside of me, which is just impossible to describe. Not only did we become a couple, but we also shared a bed together and our first time. And actually, I should just be happy. But, why am I also afraid?

Afraid that one day I'll wake up and realize that none of this is true and that I've only dreamed it all? Afraid Zhan might start to miss living and working here in the States and regret moving back to Beijing because of me. I guess it's normal to be scared, but it overwhelmed me yesterday morning when I woke up as well as feeling incredible happiness because I just don't dream anymore.

This is our fourth day in the States and I still feel out of place here. Even though I met some of Zhan's friends, who are really normal and sometimes really cool. I miss my home country, my parents and even my stupid brother a lot. Fortunately, I'm finally going home soon.

But, does Zhan want to go home too? Last night I watched him with his friends. He was loose and relaxed, clowning around childishly with them, which I've never seen him do before. Of course not, I've only known him practically a few days. But it seemed like he feels much more comfortable and happy here than at home in Beijing.

Seeing him so exuberant and happy brought some silly thoughts to me and I wished I could have talked to Suri. Thoughts like just taking my suitcase, leaving a note for Zhan to stay here where he loves to be, going to the airport and flying back home alone.

I don't know why I suddenly felt this way and why these thoughts came to me. But I was really close to putting those thoughts into action. Because how could I expect him to give up all this, just for me? His life here, his work and his many friends.

We were in this club, everyone was dancing and laughing. Only I was sitting there, not knowing what to do. I love to dance and show others how I can dance, but yesterday I didn't feel like it. Yesterday I just saw a completely different Zhan than I knew. And suddenly there was this guilty conscience inside me that told me it was my fault that he was giving all this up for me.

I suddenly felt like I just wanted to cry. And when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I had to get out of this club, I wanted to leave. I got up, walked towards the dressing rooms to pick up my jacket, when someone completely unexpected came up next to me and said, "Let's both go. Let's talk outside." It was Emma.

We got our jackets and then walked out of the club. We walked a few feet when she stopped me and said, "Your thoughts are wrong."

I asked her, "What do you mean? I don't understand."

"Well, I've been watching you all evening and I'm sure you're thinking now that Zhan belongs here, not in Beijing. That he should stay here, where he's made a life for himself, where he's worked a lot and where his friends are."

"I didn't say that."

"But you thought it Yibo. I know you only know me as the bitch who went after the man you love. But, I'm more than that. I am Zhan's best friend and as such I know him really well. And so, I'm telling you, whatever you're about to do, forget it. Zhan is not someone who makes reckless decisions. He has thought about all of this very carefully. And after thinking very carefully about what he really wants, what is important to him, he made his decision. He decided for China, for his family, and for you. And if you just leave now because you suddenly think he might regret his decision, you're hurting him more than you think."