Change (l.r.h)

It's Been Awhile

The day I've dreaded for awhile. Going back to school tomorrow. I've missed the whole week after mom mother's passing of school. I haven't seen or talked to anyone, other than Ashton, who drops by to check in on me before he heads over to Hanley and Calum's. I've got so many text messages from Luke, but I keep ignoring them. I just can't talk to him. I don't know what or how I feel about him kissing me and with the new information about him being the one who found my in my weakest state a few years ago. Does he even remember that night? I didn't even recognize him and I've been around him for about a couple of weeks now and I still didn't recognize him. Hopefully he forgot, like I did. Speaking of Luke, my phone rings and his name pops up on the caller ID.

"You know you're going to have to talk to him eventually." Ashton says.

"No, I can just ignore him, like I'm doing to everyone else." I say, declining the call.

"You're not ignoring m," Ashton says, "so technically, you're not ignoreing everyone." 

"Shut up." I say, hitting his arm. 

"You know you go back to school tomorrow. The same school Luke goes to." Ashton states, reaching over and grabbing his pop.

"I know. If I see him in the hallway, I'll just ignore him. I just don't want to talk to him right now. I don't know how I feel about all this. I' conflicted Ash." I say, laying my head back on the couch. 

"I know you are Kay." Ashton says, reaching over and rubbing my leg. 

"Please, how many times have I told you to not call me that. It's weird." I say, glaring at Ashton, but end up laughing.

"Come on Kay, you love it when I call you that." Ashton says, winking.

"Ash, that was one fucking time. We were drunk and we made out." I say, covering my face with my hands.

"You know you still love it." Ashton says.

"Don't you have to go over to your girlfriends?" I ask.

"Oh yeah." He says, getting up and putting his shoes on. "If you need anything, call me and I'll be over." He says, coming over and giving me a hug and kissing my head.

"Okay dad." I  laugh.

"Don't." He says, glaring at me. 

"Okay, I won't." I laugh.

"See ya later Kay." He laughs before he runs out the door.

I hear my phone going off again. I walk over and once again, Luke's name pops up on the caller ID. I decide to turn my phone off and head to my room. I go over to my desk and write in the journal I've started writing in. I write in the style of letters and they're all addressed to my mom. 

Dear Mom,

        Dad finally got a job. He has a lot of hours and it doesn't pay much, but at least we're getting money. It's weird knowing you're not here. The house isn't the same. I miss you making breakfast in the morning. I miss you gettting my up in the mornings. I miss you and I love you.

                                                                                                                Love Kayla.

I hear a knock on the door. I look out my window at first and see it's Luke. Dear Lord, can't you just leave me alone for awhile. I think. He knocks a couple of times, until he gives up. He looks hurt. I feel my heartache. 

"I'm sorry Luke." I whisper as he walks away and back to his car. "I'm sorry Luke's car." I joke. 

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I've dreaded this day for awhile. I hated school before and I'm going to hate it even more. Dad gets home from his job around 6:00 a.m and he goes straight to bed once he gets in. He'll probably be gone by the time I get in form school. Ashton told me he would come get me and take me to school. Gosh, I need to buy him something to thank him.

I get dressed and wait for Ashton to get here. 

*Luke: Do you need me to pick you?*

*Luke: Kayla, please answer me. I'm worried.*

*Luke: Come on Kayla. I need to know.* 

I call Ashton and tell him to call Luke and tell him that he doesn't have to come get me. 

*Luke: So Ashton text me and told me that I don't need to come get you. Kayla, I'm sorry for kissing you at the hospital. I really am. I'm an idoit for doing that. Will you please talk to me Kayla. I need to know you're alright. I've lost sleep over you. I don't even remember the last time I've gotten a full night of sleep. The most I've gotten is 3 hours in the past week. You're in every part of my mind. Please Kayla. I'm begging.

I feel tears swell up in my eyes. I'm a bitch. I swear. How can I do this to Luke? Just how? 

*Me: Hey Luke. I'm sorry. Meet me outside of the school when I get there. We can talk.*

*Luke: Oh thank god! I promise I'll be there.* 

Ashton finally shows up and I get inside his car.

"So you're going to talk to Luke this morning?" Ashton asks me once I get in.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"He text me and told me." Ashton says. 

"Oh." is all I say. The car ride consist of me telling Ash what I'm going to tell Luke. I'm going to ask him if he remembered that night a couple years ago, to the night he kissed me at the hospital.

"Well, the school bus has made it to its desination. Have a great day honey. Don't have sex and don't do drugs. Don't sell them either." Ashton says.

"Okay daddy, I won't." I smirk.

"Get the fuck out of my fucking car." Ashton says, reaching over and opening up my door.

"Fuck you." I smile and close the door. As Ashton pulls out, he flips me off. I turn around and look for Luke. He standing with Michael and Kaitlyn. 

"Excuse me, can I steal Luke for a little bit?" I ask, once I get over to them. Luke turns around at the sound of my voice. 

"Yeah, he was being annoying anyways." Michael says, smiling and patting Luke on his back. 

"Hey Clifford. Go make out with your girlfriend." Luke laughs. 

"My pleasure." Michael says, giving Kaitlyn a kiss. Luke grabs my hand and my heart speeds up. We walk over the the benches in front of the school. We sit down and both of us don't talk for what seems like hours.

"It's been awhile." Luke speaks up.