Under Your Skin

24

Sitting in Xaviers' driveway, I looked down at my hands as we sat in silence. Xavier was adamant about me not going home until this issue was solved and I understood why, he wasnt the kind of person to leave a situation without a resolution. He didn't like tension.

"Xavier I wasn't gonna get anything from him. I swear to God." I mumbled.

He pulled his hands from the steering wheel and cut the truck off.

"I believe you. I'm sorry I yelled at you the way I did but Hayden......" he shook his head. "Look man, Ion know the correct way to be open. I spent a long time tryna just forget the shit I went through with my mother so I could be at peace but it ain't work. And I'm holding in all this shit and I wasn't tryna give you this energy and that's exactly what the fuck happened."

He stopped and stared out the front window.

"My mom would get clean for a month of two tops. And then be right back. And what I look like tryna stop her from making a buy, and doing a line? I was just a fuckin kid, fighting battles I was never gonna win. Couldn't stop her no matter what I did. Didn't matter that I was her son....she wanted to feel....painless." He paused. "I ain't mean to snap at you on the corner but seeing you standing there...felt like I was reliving the past."

"I'm sorry. Xavier....I didn't."

"Aint ya fault. This my trauma. I gotta fix it. And as for what I said in the bedroom....that was wrong too. It's just sensitive spots yo. Shit put me on edge because I want to be able to be an open book with you but I ain't there yet. That's why I admire about you. Your strength."

"Xavier you always there for everyone else, why can't someone be there for you."

"The one person who was supposed to be there for me? Left me...to find her overdosed in a bathtub. I'm not big on promises that ain't gonna be kept."

"How do you know that? You can't project that onto other people, Hailey and Marcos didn't break a promise to you. I haven't broken any promise to you. I love you and I want to be there for you. But I can't do that if you won't let me."

He sighed and laid his head back into the headrest.

"I wanna try, you just gotta bare with me."

I gave him a nod, and he looked over at me.

"I'm not tryna force you. But don't lie to me if somethings wrong."

He licked his lips and told me 'I wont'. Good.

"And what were you thinking talking to Mikey like that? He would've shot you."

"Not if I shot his ass first."

"With what fuckin gun?" I asked smartly before he looked over at me, unamused he leaned forward and reached under his seat. He pulled up the gun and waved it slowly at me before tucking it back in its hiding place.