Random shit/thoughts/imagines

𝙹𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚊 𝚇 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Requested: No❤️

"Fine! I'll do it later! God you're such a bitch!" The vulture yelled into the phone as Jake walked in "Sorry, I didn't mean to call you a bitch. Bye."

"Who was that?" Jake asked his current boss

"My bitch sister, but don't tell her I said that she'll kill me." The vulture said and Jake handed him the papers he came in to get signed, but coming in here gave him an even better idea, one that would get rid of the vulture "hey, tell me who you're gonna arrest on this case so I can take the credit."

"Fine." Jake said as he left with the now signed papers. When Jake sat at his desk he sent an email to everyone to meet him in the evidence room so he could tell them his plan. Jake left to the evidence room and soon Amy, Charles, Terry and Rosa walked in

"So, what's your plan?" Rosa asked

"I just found out the vulture has a sister." Jake said and everyone gave him a look that said 'so?' "And she terrifies him. He called her a bitch and apologized the minute after."

"So we steal his phone, get her number and tell her what he's up to." Amy started

"She yells at him to stop and he quits." Terry finished

"And boom! No more vulture." Jake smiled

"Let's do it." Rosa said

"Ok, Rosa I know you're gonna hate me for this but you only have to do it once. Rosa will seduce him and while she does it she'll slip his phone out and swap it with this fake one. Then we'll dust his screen protector for prints put in his password and get her number then we text her to get here and boom! We get a new captain." Jake said and everyone agreed

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

The plan worked perfectly Jake called the vultures sister and you were about to walk through the elevator. The doors opened and you walked out, everyone's heads turned towards you and Jake walked over "y/n pembroke?" Jake asked

"That's me. Now, where's my dork brother?" You asked taking off your shades and putting them in your pocket as the vulture walked out of his office

"Y-y/n?" The vulture stuttered

"Nope! You know you have no right to call me by my first name. Now, what do you call me?" You asked him

"Detective pembroke?" He asked his voice getting quieter

"That's right. Office now!" You said walking into his office and sat in his chair him behind you closing the door

"I think our plan worked." Jake smiled high fiving Terry

"Jake texted me and told me that you're treating these nice detectives like their garbage. Is that true?" You asked your younger brother

"No. I'm only stealing their cases to win a bet and tried to demote peralta because he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to give me a case that was almost solved so I could take credit." He mumbled

"Here's what's gonna happen you're gonna request a transfer to a new unit and I'm gonna take your job because apparently you don't know human decency!" You yelled

"You're not the boss of me." He huffed

"I'm older than you!" You said

"By 2 minutes." He said

"I'm still older. Now, are you gonna listen to me or do I need to call mom?" You asked

"I'll put in the transfer." He said and called his boss to transfer as you walked out to the bullpen

"He's transferring to a new unit and he'll leave you all alone, but just in case he comes back I'm transferring here." You said and everyone cheered

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

Two days later Jake solved a huge case and captain holt was able to return to the Brooklyn nine-nine because of it. Holt and you got along quickly and everything went back to normal. "So why did you decide to stay." Jake asked you

"Well, it's close to where I live and there's a cute guy here who caught my attention when I walked in." You smirked and kissed his cheek walking away

"I'm the cute guy." Jake smiled