Greenelan~The Journey

~Alyssa~

A/N: italics= inner thoughts babes
Tw: homophobia... i think that's it yup

I walk into school and go wait at Emma's locker as usual. Emma shows up and she smiles at me. I love her smile. Stop Alyssa. Platonic thoughts only.

"So, how was the rest of your weekend?" I ask.

"Uneventful." Emma chuckles.

"What did you do?" Emma asks.

"Sat in my room and listened to my Mom make business calls." I say while rolling my eyes.

"Sounds exciting." Emma laughs.

"My favorite pass time." I say sarcastically.

The bell rings and we part ways. I walk into class and immediately notice that Kaylee and Shelby are eyeballing me. Oh gosh. Did I say something? I sit down and smile at them nervously. "Alyssa, we're just gonna get straight to the point." Kaylee says. Oh no, how did they find out? I've literally told NO ONE.

"You should stop hanging out with Emma." Shelby says.  I hold my breath.

"What?" I manage to choke out.

"We think she's gay." Kaylee says quietly.

"Okay...what does that have to do with me?" I ask nervously.

"Why would you want to hang with a lesbo...I mean you said it yourself that they don't belong here." Shelby says with a confused look on her face.

I think back to our game of truth or dare before the football game. I did say that, but I didn't mean it. Ugh, you're so dumb.

"How do you guys even know if she is?" I ask.

"Just look at the way she dresses. It's weird." Kaylee says.

"So, you think she's gay because of the way she dresses? What?" I chuckle.

"Well that and I've known her for 3 years and I've never seen her with a guy once." Kaylee says.

"I've never been with a guy before?" I say confused.

"Okay, but your normal." Shelby says quietly.

My blood starts boiling. Why are they talking about Emma like this? Why am I letting it happen?

"Alright class, let's start our unit test." My teacher yells. Perfect distraction from this conversation.

The bell rings and I leave the room before Shelby or Kaylee can say anything else.

What do I do? If I keep hanging out with her, Shelby and Kaylee will figure out that I'm actually the one who's gay and tell EVERYONE. Including my Mom. But, Emma is my friend. She's more of a friend than Kaylee and Shelby combined. Forget Shelby and Kaylee they don't even know if she's actually gay. They're just going off of a stereotype.

I walk out of my class and head to Emma's locker to walk her to class.

"What's wrong Alyssa?" Emma asks.

"What?" I answer confused.

" I don't know. You looked like you had a lot on your mind." Emma responds.

"I'm fine. How's your day going?" I ask attempting to change the subject.

"Just another day." Emma laughs.

We get to our classes and we part ways once again. The final bell rings, but I don't get to go home. I have cheer practice. Yay. I head to locker room to change into my practice uniform. Shelby walks in the locker room and approaches me. "I saw you walk with her to class. Don't you remember what we said?" Shelby says in a annoyed tone.

Are they spying on me or something?

"Look, you guys don't even know if she's gay, so I'm still hanging out with her." I say quietly.

"Okay." Shelby says while rolling her eyes.

Practice ends and I go home. I open the door and see my Mom sitting on the couch. She's usually at work. "Mom, you're home early." I say confused. "Well, I thought I could take off and we could have a some mother daughter time." she says excitedly.

"Alright, let's do it!" I say enthusiastically.

My Mom and I go to get our toes done. We sit in the chairs and the ladies start working on our feet.

"Alyssa." my Mom says sternly.

"Hm?" I mumble.

"I think you need to pick up another extracurricular." my Mom says.

"What?" I sputter out.

"Do you know how good extracurriculars will look on your college transcript?" my Mom
asks.

"Mom; I do cheer, debate club, and I'm apart of the student council. All of those take up my week. I don't have time." I say quietly.

"I'm sure I can figure something out." my Mom says with a smile.

I want to say something, but I feel something along the lines of "Mom I hate all the extracurriculars you make me do. I will NOT add another one I hate" will come out.

"Okay." I agree.

"Are there any boys you think are cute at school?" my Mom asks with a smirk.

Here we go.

"No, Mom." I say quietly.

"Alyssa you need to start putting yourself out there. You're a beautiful girl, you're smart, you're funny, and you have a bright future ahead of you. Any guy would be very lucky to have you. You're never going to have a husband if you keep being shy." My Mom says rather loudly.

I look at her with wide eyes. Why does she do this to me?

"Maybe next year. Junior year is a busy year... a-and I need to focus primarily on my studies." I say nervously.

"Of course, studies first sweetheart. Always." my Mom says quietly.

Every time she brings this up I want to tell her but, I don't know how. I don't know how she'll react. No Mom, I don't think any boys at school are cute. But there's a girl, who I think is beautiful. She's so kind, she's funny, she's talented. That's who I want to be with Mom. No boys. She's the only one who's treated me like a real person. She's never treated me like  "Little Miss Perfect". It's honestly refreshing.

We drive back home and I immediately go to my room. I go into my bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. You're living a lie Alyssa. How much longer can you do this?  Tears start to well up in my eyes. I blink them back as I think about next year. You'll be a senior next year. After that it's college. You can get away from here. You can be who you are. Who am I kidding? My Mom is going to know my every move somehow.

I finally let the tears fall.

It's hopeless.

A/N: if you think this chapter was bad...you're right:)