Greenelan~The Journey

~Alyssa~

A/N: this is more filler im so sorry

I finally get home from Emma's house and I am on cloud 9. I'm about 85% sure her grandmother knows we're together, oops. I get a buzz from my phone.

Mom: I should be home in about 30 minutes

Me: okay!

Oh shoot. You already know she's going to ask what you did while she was gone. What lie are you gonna use this time Alyssa?

I put on a fresh outfit so my Mom doesn't see that I'm still in pajamas from the previous night. Just act like you have nothing to hide. I didn't do anything while you were gone Mom, I stayed home and watched Netflix awaiting your return. No that sounds suspicious . Just say you binge watched a new show. I really wish I could tell her that I had my first kiss, but then she would ask who and it would turn into a disaster. Honestly, I'm surprised I kissed Emma first. I couldn't help it...I just stared into her eyes and did what felt right. I've never been that bold before. I guess Emma brings out a different side of me.

"Alyssa?" I hear my Mom call from downstairs. I come downstairs and greet my Mom with a hug.

"How was your trip?" I ask.

"Uneventful. What did you do while I was gone?" my Mom asks.

"I binge watched a Netflix show." I say quickly.

Technically you're not lying. You DID binge watch a Netflix show. Just not at home...or by yourself.

"Well, since I'm back we can put up the Christmas tree." my Mom says excitedly.

When "we" put up the Christmas tree it really means she puts it up with my assistance. We start getting the boxes from the garage and bring them upstairs. My Mom and I successfully put up the tree and start picking through ornaments.  I come across an old ornament of me, my Mom and my Dad. I quickly stuff it in the bottom of the box. If Mom sees this she's going to put in on the tree. We aren't a family anymore, there's no point.

I want to throw the ornament away, but I know it would hurt her. I remember how my Mom was when my Dad left, she was devastated and then she went all control freak on me. I took it better than she did. I honestly don't know how I was strong enough to handle that when I was younger. Now, I'm a gay anxiety riddled teenager who can barely handle her extra curricular activities. It's pretty pathetic.

"The tree needs a finishing touch." my Mom says. She digs through the boxes to find the perfect ornament to finish the tree. Just like that, she finds the ornament I was dreading she'd find.

"Mom-

"It's a nice ornament Alyssa." she sternly cuts me off.

I take the boxes back to the garage and sit on the stairs near the door.

She's literally living in a fantasy world. If she could pull her head out if her butt for one second, she could see that things aren't gonna go back to normal. Change happens and she needs to deal with it. I know she knows I miss Dad too, but she's not helping by putting all of  this pressure on me to do everything right. I've been getting straight A's, winning my debates, I'm about 90% sure I'm going to be head of student council next year, and we've been winning cheer championships. Has she really not seen that none of that is changing anything?

I come back upstairs to see that my Mom has started dinner.

"You were in the garage for a while, are you okay? my Mom asks concerned.

"Yeah." I say quietly and make my way upstairs.

As soon as I close my bedroom door behind me, tears start to well up in my eyes.

Maybe she knows why Dad left. What if I'm that reason. Was I not good enough then and she's trying to make up for it now? Maybe that's why she keeps putting pressure on me.

I sink to the floor in front of my door and just stare into space. My phone starts ringing and I see that Emma is facetiming me. I quickly wipe the tears away from my face and put on a fake smile.

"Heyyyy." Emma says with a smile. The smile quickly drops from her face.

"Alyssa what's wrong?" Emma asks in a concerned tone.

"Nothing." I say quickly.

"Alyssa...I can literally see the tears forming in your eyes." Emma says.

"Just some stupid stuff it doesn't matter." I say quickly wanting to change the subject.

"Who made you cry?" Emma says in a somewhat frustrated tone.

"I did." I chuckle slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emma asks.

"Nobody knows this but...my Dad left when I was in middle school." I say. "My Mom hasn't been the same since. She turned from a fun mom to a control freak. So, she puts all of this pressure on me to be perfect. We were putting up the tree and I found this old ornament of me, my Mom, and my Dad; I tried to hide it, but she ended it up finding it anyway and put it on the tree. So, I was thinking maybe it's my fault he left. Maybe I wasn't good enough and my Mom is trying to make up for it now."

"Alyssa Greene." Emma says. " I never want to hear you say those words out of your mouth again. Okay? You are good enough. It wasn't your fault. Okay? I love you."

"You....love me?" I say quietly.

"Yeah...." Emma says in a confused tone.

"I love you too." I say with a smile.

"There's that smile." Emma says happily. "I gotta go help my Nana, but I'll talk to you later okay?" I love youuu." Emma says with a giggle.

"Love you too." I say as I hang up.

AHHHH SHE LOVES ME!!!!!!

A/N: crappy chapter but I think i might do a larger time skip to around summer time/senior year idk yet