A Hunger to Share ( Book Two )

chapter 51

Ada  

"I can't do this anymore." Ada dug her fork in the long, wooden table forcefuly.

"Can't do what sweetheart?"
Gideon turned towards her a bit, half of his attention on his cooking.

"Don't sweetheart me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I've had enough of this pointless waiting."

Gideon sighed, and walked towards the table, placing the plate of blueberry pancakes in front of Ada then carassed her cheek. "Marcia, and her coven are looking for him..."

"Oh please. They're not gonna find shit. It's been three days, and we still don't know where he is, if he's even alive..." Ada's voice cracked.

She couldn't let James die.

He had been there for her when no one else was. Before Gideon and Maggie it had been the two of them. James had helped her so much. Ada owed him a great deal, and it was time she payed up.

Gideon sat on a chair beside her and took Ada's hand, brushing her inner wrist with gentle fingers. "I'm sorry. I really am, but there is nothing else we can do..."

Ada yanked her hand out of his. "Bullshit. I can do something, and it's about time I do it."

"You can't. That's exactly what Angelina wants. You can't give it to her." Gideon looked perplexed with fear.

"This isn't just about me anymore. It's about James too..." Ada tried to make him see reason.

"Ada you're not thinking rationaly..." Gideon was pleading desperately with his eyes.

Ada hated seeing him like that, but she couldn't listen to him, not this time. "Of course I'm not. They're torturing him Gideon. James is my friend, my family. I care about him. I love him. I can't just give up and let him suffer forever. I won't."

"So you're gonna throw yourself at Angelina like your life doesn't matter? Like your child's life doesn't matter?" Gideon's eyes were blazing with anger, encircled with gold.

"Of course it matters, but I can't stay here safe, and sound, and tell our kid later on that I left their dad in the hands of sadistic psychos because I was selfish. I m done being that person."

Gideon pressed his lips together, trying to reign in his boiling anger. "James doesn't want you to sacrifice your life, or your child's. He said as much to Genevieve..."

"Just because James is a selfless idiot doesn't mean I have to listen to him." Ada countered.

"Ada please, do you even hear yourself?" Gideon looked at her incredulously.

"Take a look around you Gideon. Jack, and Genevieve barely talk to eachother. That's because of me. Jack is like a ghost. Nora doesn't know how to help him.

Genevieve is drinking herself to oblivion. It kills Thia, and Marcia to see her like that, Adrian too. So maybe stop being selfish for just a fucking second..."

"Ada..."

"And let's not forget about Artyom. He hasn't left his room in three days. Can you imagine what this is doing to him? To know the love of his life is being tortured and there's nothing he can do? Think about him Gideon and tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not, and I know all of that, but..."

"There is no but. Stop being selfish, and let me go." Ada shouted, and slammed her fist on the table, making a crack run along the length of it.

"What about me?" Gideon exploded and stood up, looking down at Ada with pain, and anger, fists clenched so tightly the veins on his arms where near popping.

"What about the pain I have to go through after you're gone? Have you thought about that? Do you know what losing you for the second time feels like? It'll be worse than death Ada. Is that what you want?"

"Gideon honey..."

"Why are you like this? Why do you want to hurt me like this? Have I not suffered enough? Why do you hate me so much?" His voice broke.

Hearing his broken voice, and looking at the tears wetting his cheeks broke Ada's heart. How could she be angry at him for being selfish when he looked like this? When he too was right?

Ada stood up, and grabbed his face in her hands. "I'm so sorry Gideon. I don't want to do this either, but I have to. I owe it to James. He's in this mess because of me. Please baby, I know it hurts, but you have to understand. I would do the same if you were in his place..."

"It's not fair." His voice was a broken whisper. Another tear rolled down, soaking her fingers. "It's not fucking fair."

"I know baby, I know. But I have to make this hard choice, and you have to let me. There's no ulternative. You need to be strong for me, for both of us."

"I can't lose you again. Please don't do this to me. Don't do this to us."

Ada hugged him. "I wish there was another choice. I wish I could be a better girlfriend."

"Please don't go there. I can't say goodbye, not to you. Not again." Gideon cried against her neck, fingers clutching her back desperately.

Ada kissed his hair. "I'm not asking you to say goodbye. Just to let me go."

"Ada please..." There was so much pain in his voice.

Ada hated herself for hurting him like this.

"We'll see each other again, if not in this life, then in another." Ada told him in a soothing voice then drew back, and kissed his lips, memorizing the shape of them, his comforting scent, the curve of his muscles under her hands.

"I'll never stop loving you." Gideon croaked out, fresh tears staining his cheeks.

"I know baby. Me neither. Our time together might have been short, but our love is eternal." Ada brushed away his tears with her thumb, and kissed him again.

"When...when are you leaving?"

"Tonight when everyone's asleep."

Gideon hugged her again, clinging to her desperately.

"Don't tell anyone you knew. I don't want them to hate you because of me." Ada hugged him back.

"I don't care."

"I do."

Ada knew she was a horrible mother and and even a worse lover. Maggie was dead and her kid hadn't lived yet. But James had. He had family, and friends to go back to.

Ada didn't care if everyone despised her. She didn't care if it made her the villain. As long as she could save James, it was worth it.