A Hunger to Share ( Book Two )

chapter 17

James     

"Artyom?" James whispered in the dark hotel room, head resting on Artyom's chest, feet tangled on the sheets. 

They had left the coffee house an hour ago and ripped each other's clothe off the minute they stumbled into their room after a heated make out session in the elavator. 

"What is it beautiful?" Artyom whispered back while running his fingers through James's hair.

He leaned into his touch, a cat starved for attention. "I think I'm starting to really like you."

James knew he probably shouldn't have said that, by doing so he was complicating things, the exact opposite of what both of them wanted.

"Starting?" Artyom teased with a soft chuckle.

"I'm serious." James caressed the tattoo under his left collarbone with his thumb.

"The feeling's mutual." Artyom told him in a velvety voice, his other hand caressed his back, long fingers tracing his spine.

"Doesn't that scare you?" James asked, listening to his steady heartbeat.

He would shatter if one day it stopped beating.

"More than you think." Artyom admitted in a tight voice and hugged James to himself, fingers locked in his hair. "But I'm willing to risk it all with you. If you're willing to do the same."

"I am."

They fell into silence, wrapped in each other's arms, snow falling outside, flames crackling in the fire place.

"I was married once." James mumbled into the dark.

He wanted someone besides Jack to know. Maybe sharing his guilt with two people would lessen it to a bearable amount. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so awful for falling for Artyom.

James always fell too soon, and too hard, and ended up hurting the most when things didn't work out. 

"What happened?" Came Artyom's soft reply.

"Her name was Rose. She had the most beautiful blue eyes and the kindest heart..." James's voice cought in his throat, he cleared it. "I saved her life once, killed the rouge vamp that almost sucked her dry. We became friends after that and then more. She thought I was her hero, but I..."

James hid his face in Artyom's chest, tears soaking his lover's skin. Talking about Rose still hurt, even after all these years. Artyom wiped James's tears away. He proped himself on his left elbow, and caressed James's cheek with his other hand.

James took a shaky breath. "After about a year of living together I asked her to marry me. I knew it was stupid. I was only twenty. Rose just a year older but I was raised a hunter. I knew how short life could be, and I wanted to live mine to the fullest. She said yes.

I stopped hunting. We bought a small house, and for the first time in my life I allowed myself to live. Everything was going great. We were happy. It ended a year later when... Rose was three month pregnant. I was going to be a dad..." His heart ached at the memory.

"Rose liked to go for walks. On her last day I found her gutted by the side of the road. She'd been ripped apart by a werewolf..." James closed his eyes, trying to stop fresh tears from falling.