❛ GREY ❜ - seavey

thirteen

christian's eyes widened, not knowing that bit of information. "what do you mean she's with someone else?" he asked worriedly.

"i-i-i saw her a-and... c-cole to-day a-and.... he a-asked her o-out ....and sh-she said.... y-y-yes. she s-said y-y-es." and if possible daniel cried even harder, holding onto his brother tightly.

"a-and sh-she....k-k-kissed him, christian... my p-pretty girl k-kissed another b-boy."

christian's eyebrows furrowed, hue heart plummeting in his chest. he was hoping that daniel realized his mistake before this exact situation happened. christian knew what it was like to be in love. how to love someone so much that being without them felt like a piece of you died, like you weren't complete without them.

hut at least in daniel's case, alaska was still here, and as long as she was here daniel still had a chance to make it right. christian knew that she must've still felt something for daniel, she had to, the two of them were basically attached at the hip since they were both five.

"daniel." christian said firmly, pulling back, he cupped his head to look up at him. "i need you to calm down for a bit okay?" daniel nodded, but the tears kept falling and he kept shaking, he buried his head back into his knees and cried harder than ever. christian frowned, running his hand through daniel's blonde hair to help calm him down. christian almost felt himself getting broken up by the scene, but he knew he needed to be strong for daniel. "do you love her dani?"

daniel's head snapped up and he nodded frantically, "y-yes, i-i love her s-so much."

"then why did you hurt her?" he asked, christian had to know. that single question had been weighing on him since he first noticed the distance the between the couple.

"i-i don't k-know." daniel cried. "th-the pandemic and r-david being an asshole and- and the band. i- don't k-now i-i- j-just pushed her a-away."

christian always had the feeling that it had to do with everything that happened almost a year ago, but she could never be sure since other than the extra time he spent with the band he seemed to be getting along just fine. "do you want to talk about that?"
daniel shook his head. "i don't know w-what to say." his brain was swimming and for months he had been having trouble figuring how he felt and now with the break up, he really felt like he was losing it.

"i really wish i could tell you what to do to fix this daniel... but with the things you said to her when you two broke up..." christian said sadly. "i do think you should at least apologize to her."

"i d-don't know if i-i can....she h-hates me." daniel whispered the last part because it felt so unreal to say that now.

"can you at least try to make it right?"

daniel simply nodded in thought, wiping away the tears on his cheek, which proved to be useless as they were replaced by fresh ones seconds later. however he was able to stop shaking as violently as before.

christian sighed again, "is there anything i can get you? tea maybe?"

daniel shook his head. "n-no- i think- i think i-i just n-need to b-be alone."

christian nodded. "alright... we were supposed to go and visit crawford and nezza, but i don't think you're gonna be up for it. so i'll be gone for most of the day, i'll call the guys to come over if you want or will you be okay on your own tomorrow?"

daniel just nodded.

"okay." christian said softly, biting his lip as he stood up. "good night then, try and get some sleep. if you need me don't be afraid to wake me up."

daniel nodded again. "o-kay." he muttered.

christian left, turning off the light and closing the door behind him.

daniel moved his laptop back to his nightstand and curled back up in his spot, the pink blanket wrapped around him and bunched up under his nose again.

he tried to sleep, he really did, but now he was lost in his own head.

he thought back on these past few months as he finally realized how upset and miserable alaska had been, and he couldn't believe he was the one to actually cause it and how blind he had been to it. he thought back to each of her attempts at getting him to talk to her and how he just brushed her off. that night where he muted her, feeling disgusted by his actions now, and he wondered if she had cried that night too. he also remembered all of the one sided conversations between the two of them and how alaska would fall into one of her rants just to realize he wasn't listening, and he couldn't even imagine how that made her feel because daniel always listened. he thought about everything that he did to her and how fucked up it was now, and daniel's had a lot of regrets in his life but this one was definitely one of the worst.

daniel thought about the night she spent with cole the day before she broke up with him. he wondered what the two of them did, if she did the same things she did with cole that she did with him. and he wondered how he comforted her when she cried, if she buried her face in his neck and wrapped her arms around him in the same way she did with daniel when he was the one to comfort her.

he felt jealousy bubble in his stomach at the thought of cole.

cole, the guy who could have any girl he wanted but went after daniel's.

but at the same time, would he have even realized how in love with alaska he still was if it wasn't for cole.

daniel didn't want to think about what would've happened then.

he thought back on the break up, feeling disgusted with himself that he accused alaska of cheating. he remembered how she said she wasn't happy being his girlfriend anymore. he remembered her telling him that she still wanted to be friends and how he completely ruined that, probably pushing her further into cole's arms. and he thought about having to see her with cole again when he went back to rehearsals. seeing her holding his hand, or kissing his cheek. it all just made daniel want to set himself on fire.

and as for why don't we and limelight's, they'd just have to wait. even daniel seavey had to take some days off for himself.

but now he was alone in his bed, crying to the point that it was painful, wrapped up in his ex-girlfriend's hoodie and blanket because they were now the few things he had left of her, as he experienced having his heart broken for the very first time.

it was a very long and sleepless night.

a/n
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