My Gardener |jihan|

sembilan belas《selfish》

"Wake up, Jeonghan-ssi," jisoo pat the boy's arm softly.

"Let me sleep more," Jeonghan murmurs.

"But we need to go to the palace now. Everyone must be worried sick especially the king and your brother," jisoo replied.

Jeonghan whines, slowly open his eyes make the first thing he see is jisoo's smiling face. Jeonghan's face burning up, instantly, he push himself up.

"S-sorry, your arm must be sore because of me now," jeonghan.

Jisoo smile "its okay. Now, lets wash our face before we go," so they walk to the waterfall, refreshing themselves before both hoping onto the horse with jeonghan's back leaning on jisoo's chest. Jeonghan can't help but smile like a whipped boy he is with a red shade on his cheeks but its okay, not like jisoo can see it anyway.

The journey start with mother nature sound only, none of them talk yet the silent is good, its a comfortable one and its really help jeonghan to think and ease his mind from the all the hectic thing he face in this few days. Its cliche but whenever jisoo there by his side, everything always become more calmer and soothing.

"I'm so sad when my mom past away," jeonghan decide to break all his worry with jisoo. Jisoo is a smart person. He don't want to break this to other cause they will be so worry and will ask too many question till he don't have a chance to talk. He know he should be grateful but now, he need someone like jisoo who will just listen to him, comfort him and can give an advice.

"I feel like the sunlight has faded, the sun didn't give any warm to me anymore. The moonbeam is not as gleaming as before and so does the stars, its like the it didn't shine like it use too. Everything have change. Its not the same without her. my mom is my bestfriend and my first love. Ya know, there's an important event sooner with me as a main subject.. and I really hope she will be there, look at me and be proud of me" jeonghan stop for a while, taking a deep breath "w-where are you, jisoo?," his voice cracks "I've been waiting for you since the funeral day. I-i don't want to walk around but I..I really hope you will come to my room and c-comfort me. .b-but you d-didn't come. Are you not care bout me?"

"I care about you a lot, jeonghan-ssi. I do want to go to your room but I don't if I can or not. I'm so sorry I didn't come. I'm sorry, I didn't know that you are waiting for me"

"I don't want to be a crown prince too, not even a king. I don't want to rule the kingdom. I don't have any reason. i just don't want too. Am I selfish, jisoo?"

"no, of course not. you have all right to reject the idea. you don't want to do it, so its okay. no one can change it. no one should. you can be whoever you want, you can be whatever you want. make your own path and follow it. you, jeonghan-ssi, know yourself better than anyone else and I'll be the person to tell you that I'm so proud of you. I'll be so proud of whatever you will do at the future and who you'll become in the future," jisoo said, poring all  the sincerity in his word and its true. he will be jeonghan's number one supporter. 

"do you think jeonghee hyung didn't deserve the tittle? just because he is not from the royal fam?"

jisoo smile hearing the question "how about you? do you think he deserve it?"

a moment of silence pass before jeonghan finally answers "I think he deserve it. he do deserve the tittle. he have a leader self in him. he have that charisma and he is so smart and talented. I know he can be the perfect leader"

"so do you," jisoo suddenly said "you are the humblest and kindest person I ever met," jeonghan blushes. but what he hear next give him mixed emotion.

"don't ever leave like last night, jeonghan-ssi," jisoo tightened his grips at the rope, holding jeonghan's  close to him. 

jeonghan's body reacts, leaning closely to jisoo's chest, not that the emeraldian mind though "I promise. i promise because you will protect me, right? I didn't need to run away again cause you will be there for me. you will be my knight in shining armor, right?"

"I'll be your knight in shining armor if you want me to," jisoo replies.

"then I want you to be my knight, my shield, my protector, my guard and my shadow"

"isn't that sound like a lover for you?," jisoo chuckles.

"promise?" jeonghan demands.

"i'll try my best," jisoo replies softly.

"That's the only thing I wanna hear," because if even you say only those, I know you will stay with me forever. I just want him to be there, this is my last wish. just want to keep him as mine forever. even if he cant be mine, yet he will be always like one .He is mine.

 jeonghan look down to his bracelet that still have a rose quartz color on it.

I'm sorry this is short after 19 days of waiting. I'll update sometime sooner but no promise. anyways, don't forget to stream Hoshi's spider and please support pentagon's new song, Do or Not. its a bop.