Silvershore

Chapter Twenty-Four

Stormjay, Kiara, Bright Moon, Loki and Wood met in the shaman resources den a few days later after everything had finally cooled down.

"Have we decided that the built-up anxiety is what triggered it?" Stormjay asked. "You mentioned that they might target wolves who are capable of great strength, but are under too much stress to actually perform."

"Pretty much... Stormjay, did something stressful happen before you panicked?" Kiara asked.

"I mean... I heard a conversation between Daruk and Misa about The Pack of the Fire's scent being found during a patrol... and then it made me remember the other time they invaded in my life, which I had kinda suppressed until then, and I just kinda...lost it."

"Wait a sec..." Bright Moon seemed to be putting the pieces together in her mind.

"Hm? What is it, Bright Moon?" Loki asked.

"Stormjay...I remember when you met with The Pack of the Stars before you became a trainee during your ceremony...you said your late grandmother told you that there was some kind of...power within you. And you killed Myra, someone Loki couldn't even defeat...without knowing anything about fighting techniques." Bright Moon widened her eyes a bit, seeming to understand everything now. "Is...this what she was talking about?"

"...I see." Wood closed his eyes. "Stormjay, do you remember what your grandmother told you exactly?"

"She...she said I had a power within me that The Pack of the Stars had trouble comprehending...I had honestly almost forgotten about that. Was she...talking about this...this...possession thing?

"That would explain a lot..." Loki sighed. "...I wonder if they knew it was going to be this all along..."

"Well, one thing is for sure...Stormjay is clearly capable of great strength. The version of Stormjay we see now wouldn't hurt a soul. But the fact that a spirit from The Pack of the Stars may have possessed him to show him what he is capable of...well, what does that tell us?" Wood's ear twitched. "I'm not sure if this means Stormjay himself can reach that level of strength, actually, because it could have been the wolf themselves that maybe lent their strength to Stormjay...yet still...what if we figured it out? Stormjay, would you like to start learning battle techniques sometime? You could be a natural...you wouldn't have to hurt anyone, but we could figure out if that potential is within you, specifically."

Stormjay paused. This was all too much for him to take in...every day, he became more and more mentally weak. His mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks were becoming more and more common. His brain felt like it had been running through a forest for days on end and needed to lay down. He felt powerless.

"...It's not me who's powerful. It's that spirit... it would just be a waste of time for me to test my strength when I know I'm not capable of it."

"I see. Well, if you change your mind...talk to me." Wood flicked his tail. "I'd like everyone to try and keep Stormjay as content as possible from now on. Check up on him often - I'll do the same." Wood stood up and began to head out the den.

"I'm going to check up on Kaia and Nyla now...they're with Calvin. Let me know if you need anything at all, Stormjay." Kiara smiled at him, and followed Wood out of shaman resources.

"...Sky is still so shaken up after all this. I'm going to check up on her. Get some rest, Stormjay." Loki left the den behind them, leaving only Stormjay and Bright Moon.

"...I dunno what I'm gonna do." Stormjay sighed. "My grandmother said that potential was within me. She never said I was gonna be fuckin' controlled like a puppet...how could they have left out that huge ass detail...? It was so out of nowhere, too...I don't want it to come back. I wanna be normal." Stormjay flattened his ears, exhausted. He'd usually apologize for swearing, let alone twice, but he was too tired to even notice.

"She said you had power The Pack of the Stars wasn't able to comprehend, right? They might've not known back then... they saw the potential of, like, killing Myra in you, but they didn't know it was because you'd, like, be possessed. Like Wood and Kiara said, what if that means you'd be able to reach this strength on your own?"

"...Why did all this have to happen to me...?" Stormjay whimpered. "I-I like to think I'm good...and nice to everyone...I had a good life ahead of me...then I kill someone...?"

"You killed someone awful." Bright Moon comforted him. "If it weren't for you and The Pack of the Stars, Sky would've been dead. You...you killed someone who deserved it..."

"What it happens again? What if I end up killing someone innocent...?" Stormjay worried. "I-I can't live in fear like this..."

"We're pretty sure your stress level was what triggered it...oh, something Kiara mentioned was that they can't always see what's going on down here...but they have this like, sixth sense that allows them to notice when something really bad is going on. We'll have that too when we get there. So, like, if you, specifically, get too freaked out and start hallucinating and stuff...the spirit might accidentally hurt someone innocent."

"I-I'm sorry...could you explain that again?"

"Okay, so...it's not necessarily a wolf that possesses you. It's a spirit. We are not knowledgeable on what that spirit is, really...but if you experience a really, really strong negative emotion, there's a chance it could possess you again and hurt someone the spirit thinks are a threat. We're not gonna know till we get confirmation from The Pack of the Stars, honestly..."

"I know everyone here loves me and cares about my well-being so much... but I can't help but feel like I'm being judged. And...I wouldn't blame them."

"I can assure you no one here earlier was judging you at all. We're only worried..."

"But, it would make sense if they were. I go through a little bit of trauma and I get possessed. Then, look at my mom and dad... they've probably been through so much worse, and they're completely fine and normal. How did I come from those amazing wolves and end up so weak?"

"To be fair, you didn't go through a little bit of trauma. I won't get into it to avoid getting you more upset than you already are... but you've been through so much, and this is just now happening...I think it says a lot about you. You're stronger than you think."

Stormjay closed his eyes. "...Thank you, Bright Moon...y'know, in any other situation, I'd be freaking out over how I killed someone. But...I'm just too tired to have a stronger reaction to all this."

"I get it, buddy. I get it..."

"Thank you for everything...no matter how annoying I get, you always stick by me... everyone does. I feel like I don't deserve you all.

"You aren't annoying at all, man." Bright Moon smiled. "You're the nicest and most caring guy I've ever met. I dunno why you doubt yourself so much... I think you need to work on it even more than I do."

"...You're right...you said the other day you wanted to work on yourself before getting into a relationship...I think I need to do the same. Man, I mean I really hate myself... I'm glad you said what you said."

"How about we help each other stop hating ourselves?" Bright Moon suggested. "When we've finally gotten to the point where we are comfortable with ourselves, we can see where things go from there. How does that sound?"

"It sounds perfect." Stormjay smiled. "Thanks again...for everything."

"Of course." Bright Moon grinned. She nuzzled him softly before finally getting up to exit the shaman resources den, Stormjay trailing swiftly behind her. She was right about all of this. Stormjay was ready to work on himself. For Bright Moon, for himself, for everyone.