Silvershore

Chapter Twenty

Time seemed to pass by extremely quick as Stormjay and Bright Moon walked through the East Forests, deep in conversation about nothing in particular. Stormjay had a hard time talking to wolves he didn't know very well, but with Bright Moon, the words all came out naturally. They could have nothing going on in their lives (although that was rare nowadays) and they could still talk for hours and hours about the most trivial subjects.

Under a sky of perfect midnight velvet, under stars so brilliant they drew the eyes skyward, Stormjay played out all the possible scenarios that could happen in his head as his steps fell lightly over the rutted path.

The black before them had a velvet quality, like the air had been thickened somehow. Without an upwards glance, Stormjay could tell it was star speckled and cloudless. He glanced downward to the path he knew to be rocky by the feel under his paws.

Against the mottled grey and green of a rock next to the pond a frog was almost as invisible as a seahorse on coral, albeit in more somber hues. It was almost as large as a toad but with smooth skin and eyes the color of stagnant pond water.

Stormjay turned his muzzle upward. Wands of rising branches became dancing silhouettes in the moonlight. The light shining from the moon came as the softest of flashlights, standing by to glow up at sunset.

"Look at this cute little frog on this lily pad," Bright Moon pointed out. The frog on the lily pad propped itself high on its front legs and puffed out its chest so far it was almost see-through. It looked so dumb and adorable at the same time.

"It's so cute," Stormjay smiled. "A-Anyway...there's something I wanna talk to you about...you in the mood to, uh, talk about something...important?" His words started to blend together.

"Oh, sure. What's up?"

He started to feel nauseas just thinking about finally spitting out the words he wanted to say the most. He almost wanted to keep living in ignorance of whether she loved him back. His love for her became a quiet emotion in that time became part of the oxygen he needed to breathe.

"You, uh, okay there?" Bright Moon flattened her ears. "Your face is all red, and you've been silent for a bit...tell me what's bothering you."

"Sorry...I'm a bit spacey right now..."

"That's fine...now, what's wrong?"

"...Um...I've wanted to tell you this for a really long time. I dunno how long I've been keeping this from you...but I just feel like I'm lying to you by not letting you know."

"You can tell me anything." Bright Moon flicked her tail. "You don't have to keep stalling like this..."

"Bright Moon, I...um...p-please don't judge me or think of me differently after I tell you..."

"I promise."

Stormjay counted backwards from three in his head. Three...two...one. "I...kinda have...a thing for you..." He mumbled, almost ineligibly. That was an understatement, but he said it.

Bright Moon was silent. Was she at loss for words, or was she confused?

"I...that was an understatement...it's not just...a thing for you..." He kicked a rock next to him into the pond. "It's...more than that...um...I guess I don't really know what 'I love you' means to me yet...but I'd say I'm pretty darn close to it. I mean, damn, I can't even really find anyone else attractive...oh, excuse my language. You're just...kinda perfect. Your flaws included, because they're what make you...well, yourself, and that's what makes you perfect...to me...oh jeez, I'm rambling, aren't I...?" Stormjay chuckled nervously. "Hey, now...please don't feel pressured into getting with me. Just tell me the truth...do you wanna...be with me? N-No pressure! Don't do anything you don't wanna do."

"You don't have to reassure me so much." Bright Moon finally spoke up. "I'd never play with your feelings like that..." She paused. "I'm gonna be completely honest, okay?"

"Thank you...whenever you're ready."

Bright Moon took a deep breath. "To tell you the truth...I mean...hell yeah. I think I like you...it's been messing with my head for a while, feeling this way about someone you saw as a brotherly figure 'till you became a trainee... I've kinda been pushing it away, up until right now. I'm just...I dunno if I'm ready for this right now. I...I think I need to love myself completely before I can love you like that. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah...it does...but I've always seen you as pretty confident. What do you mean by loving yourself?"

"Honestly, I beat myself up a lot more than you'd think...I know I'm a good person, but...I still have this little voice in the back of my head that tells me that I'm not good enough. I'm not gonna go into detail and give you a sob story, but...I'd like to get rid of that voice before I enter a relationship. I dunno how long that's gonna be, but when I do...I'll let ya know. I'm not rejecting you. You're a great guy. But...you get it, right?"

"Of course I do." Stormjay nodded. "Just...I didn't know you were so hard on yourself...you do a pretty good job hiding it. If there's something I can do to help build your confidence, let me know. Take as long as you need, okay?"

"Yeah...thanks for understanding, man...I'm glad we had this talk." Bright Moon smiled. Honestly, her sweet smile was all the love he'd ever need. It didn't matter if she was never ready. As long as that smile was there.

He smiled back at her. "I'm glad we talked, too. How about we head home...? It's getting pretty late..."

"Alright...let's get headed."

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He knew that she at least somewhat felt the same as him. Even if they weren't together yet, and might not be together for a long time... he'd wait for her. As long as it took for her to love herself. And he'd do whatever it took to help.

The two of them had decided on the walk home that it was best to keep this between them. Stormjay kind of wanted to follow up with Roscoe about it, but he respected Bright Moon's wishes too much to tell anyone.

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The next morning, it was another completely normal day. The spring had come with a gentle spirit, as one who realizes that warming up softly often brings the best results to the heart and soul. This season gave vestiges of winter, yet also the promise of warm summer days ahead.

The spring gave Loki a newfound hope. She opened her eyes and was willing to see that the road to better things is challenging and full of effort. It was how her broken world would get fixed. When there was no light, when there was nothing beyond the boundaries of her pelt, hope was a ladder woven of The Pack of the Stars' vibrations that spoke right to her slowly but surely healing soul.

Loki had become very close with Fawn, who needed to heal from the past even more so than she did. Fawn had become clearer when she spoke, much less quiet and was able to speak without stumbling through her sentences anymore. Loki was proud of her. She was maturing, just like Loki was.

She was finally beginning to move on from Aries, whom she hadn't seen since she was kidnapped, oddly enough. When he had suddenly changed personalities as soon as he became chieftain, a puzzle piece fell from her heart, as if it no longer belonged there.

She had realized that it wasn't specifically Aries who was the problem here - it was her gullibility. She had made up this perfect fantasy of him when she was young, ignoring all his flaws and red flags. She had followed him blindly, even when he had revealed his true intentions of becoming the chieftain of his pack. She had trapped herself in that fantasy from a young age and it took him nearly getting her killed for Loki to escape from it.

She had gotten away with everything she did. All the lies she told, all the betrayals she committed to her pack, even with cheating on Wood. It was insane, and she didn't deserve it - that was for sure. Loki was a smart wolf who made stupid decisions. She understood that now. The only thing she could do to redeem herself now was to never give in to her weakness ever again. She had to be stay strong - for Stormjay, Sky, Wood, Fawn...everyone.