Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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The world seems to have suddenly stopped turning and everything before my eyes moves in slow motion. The noises of the conversations around me and the policemen who communicate through the walkie-talkie with what I assume is the police station echo in my ears. I have ice running down my spine as if someone had emptied an entire bucket of ice water over my body.

My eyes probably haven't shrunk back to their original shape and I can only imagine what I look like right now like I'm a deer hit in the headlights. Am I seeing and hearing everything correctly?

To find out I pull myself together and without further thought I duck under the yellow barrier tape, making my way towards our dorm. But I don't get far as I am stopped by a police officer.

"Hey, young man! It's forbidden to cross the line!" he scolds as he stands in front of me. "Go back."

"Sir, I think that's my friend they're carrying away right now!" I say in a shaky voice as I watch the paramedics push the gurney into the ambulance. I just hope so hard inside that I'm wrong and no matter how stupid it sounds, that it's someone else and not Namjoon. I know it would be another life lost, but I can't think and pray any other way right now.

"Oh yeah, how do you know who we're carrying away right now? The body is wrapped in plastic." he raises his eyebrow while looking me up and down.

I gulp hard. "I saw the hair peeking through and the body had the same hair," I explain. "Is it Namjoon Kim?"

I shudder as the name crosses my lips and look hopefully at the police officer. Everything feels so surreal and I feel like this is a bad joke. Like I'm going to wake up from a nightmare and it's all over. I continue to stare at the cop and it feels like seconds, minutes and even hours pass before he gives me an answer.

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you anything because I can't make anything public." he sighs and this statement alone makes me realize that I am correct in my assumption and that my eyes have not been playing a game on me. My shoulders slump in disappointment and shock. "Would you come down to the station with us to answer a few questions?"

I stare at him for another few seconds, hearing the ticking of a clock in my ears, and my tongue seems tied. I didn't get confirmation of my neighbor's death, but that the cop wants to take me to the station is answer enough for me.

Should I be suspicious about him wanting to ask me some questions? What can I imagine about it? I may be a rebel and have done a lot of shit, but not to such an extent that I had to go to a police station. I can't imagine anything about it and certainly not whether it can have consequences for me. Why me out of all those people? Maybe I should have just stayed behind the barrier.

Cops have a bad reputation for a reason and I would be lying to myself if I said it doesn't make me nervous. Do I have a chance to refuse or would it have a negative effect? I don't even know what the hell happened. The loud slam of the ambulance door brings me out of my thoughts and I see the cop still looking at me, waiting.

"Can I make a phone call?" I ask after some time as I sort out my thoughts a bit. The cop raises an eyebrow in curiosity, but I wipe it out with my next sentence. "I'm allowed to contact a lawyer, right? Only for my own protection, obviously."

"Of course." the tall and broad man replies, walking a few steps away, but enough so that he can still keep an eye on me.

I don't know what I was thinking with the phone call, but I think that was to have some distance from him, to be able to think clearly again. My emotions are all over the place anyway that I can't get my brain to think straight. The thought that Namjoon is no longer alive is overwhelming and sad for me at the same time.