Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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"You should have seen his face when I showed him how the software works," Daniel says excitedly, and everyone laughs. "I mean, come on. The guy's been working here for over 20 years and still doesn't know how to do it."

Everyone at the table giggles and laughs as Daniel once again leads our lunch conversation. The guy is really a chatterbox and won't stop talking. Not that it bugs me, but I don't know maybe I'm just the one who's bothered by everything right now because others seem to find his stories funny.

"I really wonder how he became your team leader." Sophia, the girl from the front desk joins him and Daniel nods in agreement.

"I don't know either," Daniel shakes his head.

We've been sitting here for I don't know how long and I can't remember if I've even said a word. Don't get me wrong, I like my new work colleagues and the ones sitting at the table with me right now are the only ones you can talk to about anything. All the other co-workers are way above our age range and all they talk about is soccer and beer.

But I can't exactly say I'm enjoying today's lunch break. It's been good the past few days, but for some reason, I don't really feel like joining in the conversations today. Maybe it's because I drank a little last night and maybe the alcohol is still coursing through my system, making me a little grumpy.

I wish I could just get up now and go back to my desk to get my mind distracted by work, but at the same time, I don't want to be an asshole who already in his second week of work, doesn't feel like talking to his colleagues. I really like everyone. There are five of us sitting at the table right now, we are joined by two other guys from the 12th floor whose names I have unfortunately forgotten, and everyone is very nice.

But I feel empty.

That's been the word I've been looking for the last few weeks to describe my mood and empty is the best that fits it. I don't want to be like this and I've been trying to change it, but unfortunately in vain. I hate the fact that one single matter can affect me like this and it makes me angry to know that I can't do anything about it.

Maybe I shouldn't have jumped the gun and taken this job after all. If I had known that staying in the States would have caused me such problems, maybe I would have liked to be back in Korea with my friends and family instead.

There is a certain bitterness on my tongue that I have not yet been able to swallow or spit out. This taste can't be overpowered with any other sweetness either. The bitterness has only one goal and that is to make my life harder than it already is.

But here I am, trying to make the best of the situation. I want to finish this job with the best conscience and be proud of myself so that I can achieve something in life that I can point my finger at and say that I did it on my own.

I need to pull myself together.

It's not like I'm heartbroken.

I poke at the pasta I took for lunch and listen to Sophia and Daniel talk. My appetite isn't the same anymore, and I spend most of my time just staring at my food as we sit in the cafeteria.

"Oh my god. Irina is so cute and her eyes—"

My hand freezes in its motion as the name echoes in my ears. It's like all my muscles have suddenly become stiff and my brain has given up its function. My eyes shoot up from the plate of untouched pasta and I watch Sophia's lips move as she converses with Daniel.