Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

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Irina

I puff out an exhausted breath as I look up at my empty ceiling. I haven't been able to fall asleep since I laid down in my bed, which was a few hours ago. There are a few things that keep me from closing my eyes in peace, but one of them seems to be taking over my head without me wanting it to.

The fight between me and Jungkook made me mad, but first and foremost it hurt me. He was here all day yesterday running some errands for my father, which is why he had to keep going somewhere. I'm used to him always finding a few seconds at least just before he leaves and after he comes back to steal a kiss from my lips, but since we're fighting, he shied away from it.

It wasn't a drastic fight, just a war of words, but that alone was enough for me to ignore him. When he questioned me about the Taheyung incident, I panicked and didn't know what to answer. I knew he would find out sooner or later because they practically act like blood enemies, but I wish I was the one to tell him.

I don't think it's okay that Taehyung interfered in our relationship and just shared the secret between us without my knowledge, even though we promised never to talk about it again. That's why he got a taste of my ignorance, which I'm sure he noticed when he looked at me with apologetic eyes all the time.

It has already been a long time since the incident happened. It was after my mother's death when I started showing signs of depression and anxiety. It was nothing big and I didn't have to take any medication or anything, but the death changed my life a lot. I am a strong person, but seeing it all happen in front of me certainly affected me more than I wanted.

I felt lonely and also blamed myself for the incident. I know I had nothing to do with it and things happen that have to happen, but if I hadn't wanted to go to the mall that day, maybe my mother would still be alive. Maybe she wouldn't, I don't know. Maybe her time was up and it would have eventually happened somewhere without me having any influence.

Anyway, Taehyung was there for me after that. He became my new bodyguard since Charles, my old bodyguard, also passed away that day. He seemed to understand me the best out of everyone around me, which might be because of our small age gap.

And one day it just happened. We became intimate, but we didn't have sex. He made me feel good, but after it happened I immediately regretted it, because after all, he is one of my father's men. I risked his life with it and if my father found out, it would have ended badly for him.

So we swore never to repeat it and never to talk about it again. Well, he is the one who broke his promise and thus broke not me but also my trust in him.

If Jungkook had let me finish and not directly responded so angrily and negatively, I might have considered enlightening him. Not that it is any of his business what happened before him, but because I wanted to and because I didn't want any more secrets between us.

But after the words left his lips, I got as angry as he did. How dare he question me in that tone where he's not allowed to stick his nose in anyway?

Maybe I was overreacting a bit and accusing him of things that would never be true. I know he would never think that low of me and I could see the jealousy in his eyes as well, which showed me that he was questioning me mainly because of that. I know Tae and him didn't get along from the beginning and that was the biggest reason for his anger.

Easy would be the last word he would associate with me. He was persistent himself in the beginning and chased me, so why would he think I was an easy fuck for him? Maybe I should have controlled my tongue a bit, but to be honest I lost my temper at that moment.