Nobody Knows | Jeon Jungkook

•51•

I didn't know emotional pain could be this deep and nerve-wracking. I've been through a few things myself that have been upsetting, but what Irina is experiencing doesn't come close to comparing. With each passing day, I see the once healthy and beautiful flower break down into pieces and its blossoms blow away with the harsh storm.

The weariness is clear in her eyes and like everyone else sitting at the table right now, she says nothing. Not that she has anything to say, because every time she even tries to get words out, she breaks out in a sob. The most we get out of her are simple yes-no answers.

It hurts me a lot to see her like this because there is no sign of the strong Irina I knew in the person sitting next to me right now. I can't even describe how empty her eyes are as she stares at the white plate in front of her. I realize how much I actually love her.

Not that I've ever questioned my love for her, because I know how I feel, but it's moments like these that prove that she's the one.

She hasn't been eating properly lately and naturally, because of that, my appetite has gone as well. How could I have eaten in peace when Irina ignores the growling in her stomach and cries herself to sleep every night? The mood since that one day is not like it was.

Everyone is quiet. Too quiet. I miss the time when we laughed together and there was at least some noise in the house. Now I could drop a pin and it would be heard throughout the house.

I don't want to say that things didn't affect me and that I'm not sorry for what happened to Nikolai. But I want to see Irina's smile and protect her from any harm. However, my hands are tied and every attempt to bring hope again has been a real failure.

Taehyung and I have tried to track down Gabriel but in vain. Whatever shithole he is hiding in, he is doing a very good job. Or someone is helping him do it, which I think is both. Taehyung only lets me do so much though, saying that it may take a bit for us to track him down and that the person who tracks people is working on it.

I don't think there is anything we can do but wait and let time take care of everything. However, I must admit that my impatient ass is getting even more impatient with each passing day. How long will it be before we finally find out more? I can't continue to look into Irina's eyes every night and tell her no when asked if we found Nikolai.

We still don't know if he is still alive, but we hope so. I can't imagine the disaster if Gabriel killed him. That would mean war. It already means war now, because nobody can just kidnap a mafia boss like a cat and chop his arm off, but if he's dead it will be worse. At least that's my assumption.

Irina is sitting on the chair next to me, her knees pulled up and pressed tightly against her chest. She's chewing on her thumb and looks stressed, but that's the way it's always been the last two weeks. We brought in a doctor for her that I've seen before because I had to bring the computer guy to him after Nikolai smashed his laptop on his head because he couldn't hack into the security cameras. But that's not the point.

The doctor prescribed her sedatives, but she refused to take them. So I can practically say that Irina is not really in her right mind.

One of the maids interrupts our loud thoughts, but quiet tongues as she enters the dining area with a small serving cart like from a restaurant. The people working in this house don't know much about anything, and I want it to stay that way, but I'm sure they can surely assume that something is wrong.

One by one she sets the plates of delicious smelling dinner on the space in front of us, but none of us dig in, just staring at the steak with potatoes on the side. But that doesn't last long as Irina next to me starts gagging.